Neil's Highlight Reel

MOAR SNOW!

2010-02-05T08:13:00.001-05:00

With Northern Virginia getting estimates of 18-30 inches of snow through this upcoming weekend, I figure now is as good a time as any to pick things back up.Yes, I promised to get back to what all three of you love me most for - bitchy wrestling columns. But this weekend, now that I have a ton of free time on my hands, something is coming... I promise.

Just a Moment...

2010-01-04T19:45:00.004-05:00

So here we are, just a few moments from a whole new round of Monday Night Wars, and I would be lying if I said I was not giddy. Immortals Bret Hart and Hulk Hogan are locks to make appearances for their feuding shows, but now even other prominent figures like Randy Savage and Rob Van Dam are being churned out by the rumor mill. Now granted, TNA has nowhere near the resources the WWE has, meaning that it is highly unlikely that TNA even gets close in the ratings tonight, but really, the competition itself is what makes tonight so exciting.

That WCW-WWF rivalry, aka the original Monday Night Wars, gave us such a magnificent era - the Attitude Era - that we still fondly remember to this day. Sadly though, that era and the moments that came of it are something we wrestling fans have gotten used to living without for the better part of the last decade. Yes, we probably have had five-star matches since then. Hell, we have had even had great young stars like Randy Orton emerge post-Attitude Era. But the thing we have been missing are those moments like we had in the 90's and early 00's.

In the last handful of years, we have no moments like 'The Stunner', 'The Leg Drop', 'The Beer Truck', or even just 'TLC' - simple phrases that bring back so many flashbacks. The closest of this current era may, in my opinion, be 'The Cash-In', when Edge stole the heavyweight title from John Cena when nobody expected it. Even then though, that doesn't hold a candle to any of the spectacles above, not to mention that from my perspective, Mr. Kennedy was supposed to be in Edge's place... *mumbling profanities*. However, I expect that to soon change... the moments that is - not Mr. Kennedy. (I'm now done with my quota of one Mr. Kennedy reference per article.)

You probably don't remember, but back in May I wrote the article 'A Man Defines His Surroundings... or Do Surroundings Define the Man?'. In the article I got into what has motivated such geniuses (in their own respective fields) like Eminem, Michael Jordan, and even S.T.U.P.I.D. (aka Vince McMahon) throughout their careers. In every person's case, there was always somebody in their rear view mirror, literally or figuratively, that couldn't wait to "catch up" to them. Yet every time said geniuses' rival - be it poverty or a person - faded away - to a degree so did the person's motivation.

Enter TNA.

S.T.U.P.I.D. has been fat and happy for the better part of the last decade. You all have seen that the product that has been put out there in the ring has been sub par PG-bullshit at best. But as soon as TNA signed Hogan months ago, have you finally not seen the good ol' S.T.U.P.I.D. that we've come to know? He really has pulled out ALL his arsenal in an attempt to one-up TNA, namely, signing Bret Hart. But you know what? I would have no issue if the WWE squashed TNA like a bug. That would be perfectly fine by me.

The one thing, however, that I do hope comes of this, is that we get some... you guessed it... moments. The sickie inside me wants to see Jeff Hardy go to TNA and take all those young fans with him. The sickie in me wants to see TNA go even further and assemble as nostalgic a wrestling roster as you can assemble, just for the sake of maybe reuniting some of the old stables, and better yet, reigniting some of the old rivalries. But ultimately, the sickie inside me wants to see Bret Hart go on live TV tonight and completely destroy S.T.U.P.I.D. on the mic as soon as he gets the chance. Sort of in a 'shot-heard-'round-the-world' way, and then go on to sign with TNA. But really, I just want some damn entertaining programming... kayfabe or not.

Oh and did I yet mention that I want moments?

Merry Christmas...

2009-12-25T08:46:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas everybody... to those of you overly-PC people who say "Happy Holidays", go fuck yourselves.

My Thoughts on Sheamus Winning the Strap...

2009-12-23T11:47:00.004-05:00

Three words:

What. The. Fuck?

or even...

I. Miss. Cena?

or of course...

Hunter. Hearst. Helmsley.

but mostly...

It's. Over. Johnny.

It's All Tiger Woods...

2009-12-22T10:04:00.003-05:00

First off, let me just preface this by saying the man should be able to bang anything that moves. He worked his ass off to become the billionaire athlete he now is, even sacrificing a normal childhood so that he could have a successful career in the game of golf. Financially, his family is set for the next hundred generations, and that is all because of him. So to say that his wife deserves half his assets is ludicrous. With or without her, Tiger would have been just as big, just as successful, and just as wealthy... so why the hell does she deserve a penny outside of child care? Just because she bore his kids? Just because Tiger got married to her? If she was just his girlfriend and not his wife, why does she not get a penny as the former, but apparently deserves to get money now as the latter?

Now, I am not excusing what Tiger did. Adultery is wrong, clearly, and he wasn't ready to commit to a meaningful relationship. However, his wife's actions shows that she isn't exactly little Ms. Perfect either.

First off, her mental stability is something that needs to be questioned, because judging from the evidence of that initial car crash that got this story rolling, she was beating, or at least trying to beat, the bloody hell out of Tiger with a golf club after already scratching up his face. Now I'm no lawyer, but if a man does so much as lay one finger on a woman in a domestic argument, his ass is heading to the clanker. Yet if a woman assaults her husband with a deadly weapon, she's somehow allowed to get away with it? Why is nobody talking about this?

Another issue I have with Elin Woods is that allegedly she is accepting money to remain by Tiger's side. Does that not make her any less a whore than the women Tiger hooked up with? On top of that she hired infamous divorce attorney Sorrell Trope, a lawyer known to break even the most apparently iron-clad prenups, and wants to file for divorce in California - essentially a 50/50 divorce state - rather than in their home state of Florida. Are these acts all of a woman who is even willing to give her marriage another shot, or of a vindictive bitch who just wants her money?

Maybe it's just the misogynist in me pointing these out, but there are faults on both ends here. I'm merely presenting them to you - not just to play the devil's advocate - but because, really, nobody is talking about these things that seem so obvious. It's just that I get so frustrated when I see a man taken to the cleaners when he makes a mistake, but if the woman makes a mistake, or does something that is clearly wrong, the media doesn't bat an eye.

In summary though, don't get married. No really... it's not worth it.

So What's Happening?

2009-12-22T09:03:00.003-05:00

So there has been a lot going on since the last time I posted. Final exams took up much of my attention and energy since then, resulting in a lack of, well, any creative content on this site. For the sake of brevity, let's just dive right into the headlines and tackle them one by one in the coming days...

Eddie Fatu Dead at 36...

2009-12-04T18:53:00.003-05:00

RIP Eddie Fatu, aka Umaga. My thoughts go out to both his friends and family.

Something is Better than Nothing...

2009-12-02T14:57:00.003-05:00

People say that bad publicity is better than no publicity at all. Does the same adage ring true with blogs? Is bad content better than no content? It's actually an interesting topic that I'd love to ~~waste~~ spend time covering some other time, but not now.

You see, I'm in a very posting mood today, but not of the kind that requires much effort from me. So with that being said this is going to be of roughly the same quality that any random student's last-minute paper would be. If you're standing, there is no need to sit down as you read this, because I'm not blowing anybody's skirt up today.

Boy I know how to sell my work. Moving on...

The following are ideas I'm noodling at the moment for upcoming posts:

'The Concept of a Bankroll'
Recent cash game experience
'Becoming too Efficient at Work'
The upcoming holidays and what my plans are
How a video game changed my life
Sports gambling with a Seinfeld twist
Some rant or the other about wrestling (to be fair, you knew these were coming)

Yea, like I told you, there wouldn't be much to today's post. I really can't imagine how to close out this post so...

That is all.

Over as Quickly as it Came...

2009-11-30T02:18:00.005-05:00

So Thanksgiving weekend has already come to an end. The long weekend really blew by for me, as I was constantly doing... oh wait... nothing. Good times.

Thanksgiving night itself went really well, as I happily enjoyed my first ever real T-day turkey. My family ordered an 11-pound bird from Boston Market, and we also got a casserole of what might have been the greatest sweet potatoes I have ever had. The dinner itself went along okay, as my brother - who has become maybe the most annoying, hard-headed person I have ever come across - kept his inner-asshole in check.

The Friday and Saturday after the big day weren't especially eventful, as I hung out with some friends here and there. I certainly didn't go shopping on Black Friday... that mania that surrounds that day just fucking frustrates me. Plus, if I had to list everything that I hated, Black Friday encompasses some of the higher items on the list; that being crazy women, shopping, and big crowds. No thank you.

Oh, I also forgot to mention the part where I definitely didn't choose to go to my high school's five-year reunion. I remember high school, like most people do, as this really awkward time where I had some friends, but really didn't like most people at all. Plus, going to the reunion would've meant that I would have had to dress up, drive to DC, park in DC, and surround myself with far too many drunk and preppy douches. Again, no thanks. Maybe in another five years... maybe.

Coke or Pepsi?

2009-11-23T14:11:00.003-05:00

Coca-Cola has, as long as I can remember, been my soft drink of choice. I always was fervently a Coke guy through and through, even going as far as besmirching the name of Pepsi whenever the opportunity arose. My hate for Pepsi was that strong... or at least it used to be.

In the last few months now, Pepsi has slowly been giving Coke a run for its money. And just this past weekend, it happened. I'm a Pepsi man now. Why, you must be wondering, did I make the switch? I really have no reason for it. The only logical answer I can offer up is that the Pepsi machine in my place of work is merely 20 steps away from my cubicle, while the Coke machine sits all the way on the other side of the building. Can I truly be so lazy that I would be willing to switch my allegiance from one brand to another merely for the sake of said level of convenience? An extra 300 step traverse I would need to take to reach another product is all it takes to sway me and my morals?

Answer: yes.

An Itch to Scratch...

2009-11-19T09:05:00.004-05:00

So I've been playing quite a bit of poker lately. For the most part it's just been a freeroll here or a play chip tournament there, and actually even a low-stakes home game just recently, but it's all gone rather well. Now I do have a decent bankroll split up between my online account and cash-in-hand, but I really want to make this go-around count. I'm easing myself back into the grind that poker can become, and just dipping my toe in the water with, like I said, freerolls and microstakes cash games, is the way to go.

You see, over the last two to three years I've rarely played for a variety of issues, but now I think I have come to a point where, if I wanted, I could jump back into the thick of things and commit a lot hours to playing. Yet, every time I've done just that before I would be in over my head, and would forget/ignore even the most basic, fundamental concepts of play. My bankroll would then dwindle a bit, and just as soon as I started to play I would stop.

But now? I'm rereading game theory books I already read five years ago, and although I once went over all these basics, it's brand-new material all over again. This analytical side of the game I never really had a stable base for, and going over that material will be a good point to jump from so that I don't repeat mistakes I've made in the past.

The instinctual part of the game, what I believe is my strength, will come definitely back to me... it always does once I get on a regular schedule of play. Most poker players, hell even just people in general, claim that they can "read" people well and naturally have that instinct. Said people are full of horseshit, just for the record. In my case though, that actually rings pretty true. I'm not going to drop the cliche that I've always had a sixth sense for these kinds of things (I hate people who say that), but I do hone in on people's body language, voice level, and more - all of which you can learn a tremendous amount from - more than the average person.

Ideally I'd like to arrive at the point where I equally weigh this sixth sense I have (ugh) with my understanding of game theory for every decision, but that's a long ways away. If I had to put a number on it, I'd say that, at my peak as a poker player, I gave maybe 10-15% credence to game theory, and mostly relied on instinct for my decisions. So as you can see, I'm reaching for the sky here with regards to where I aim to go.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

2009-11-18T13:51:00.004-05:00

So Modern Warfare 2, the sixth installment of the Call of Duty video game franchise is, well, only the best game evAr. But no really, it was definitely worth getting a new 360 for (and trashing my old broken system... Microsoft needs to seriously create a 'cash-for- XBox 360 clunkers' program, as I have never in my lifetime seen a company exhibit such disregard for all the short and long-term flaws in such a popular item)... but I digress.

Everything I could have possibly asked for from the game, I got. I can't fathom buying another title for months now, as my hands should be tied for a while. Goodbye Madden 09 and NBA 2k9, I hardly knew ye.

Bumps...

2009-11-09T14:11:00.005-05:00

So it's been a little over a week since I last wrote here, and a number of interesting things have happened in the wrestling world since. Being that I am going to touch on these happenings, this would normally be called a "Quick Hits" column or something of that nature. That is rather lame though, and I'm one who likes to be contrarian just for the sake of being contrarian . So let's call this post a... hmmmmm... a "Quick Punch" column? No, a "Quick Bangs" column? Nah, that doesn't work either.

Since the ol' noggin' isn't working at the moment - it is Monday after all - let's refer to a trusty thesaurus for synonyms of the word "hit". That's right folks - nowhere else will you see a columnist openly refer to a thesaurus in the midst of his/her column, especially in search for synonyms of "hit" - a task so simple that third graders could assuredly do in a jiffy...

KO
bang
bash
beat
blitz
bump... I like bump.

So there, let's call this a "Quick Bumps" column. That's close enough to "hit", and hell, it kind of ties into wrestling, right?

...

Somebody?

...

Anybody?

Okay, moving on.

The big news of the week is that Hulk Hogan, along with Eric Bischoff, have signed with TNA. Normally this is something I'd be behind for a few reasons. First off, Hogan legitimizes TNA with some mainstream star power, and TNA's ratings will probably bump up whenever he debuts. And if TNA's ratings go up at all, the WWE has to take some notice and, in turn, step up their game. Competition is always a good thing for us fans. See: The Attitude Era

But a part of me wonders what will happen to the rising talent that have made a name for themselves over the last few months; namely Abyss, Matt Morgan, A.J. Styles, and Hernandez. Will these guys get put over Hogan if they had a match with him? Will Hogan take valuable time from them that, for the sake of the long run, could be put to better use to build young talent? Are we in for another version of the Main Event Mafia, only with Hogan starting up NWO again, and will take over half the show just as MEM did?

As great as it is for TNA to have added maybe the biggest name in wrestling history, they are operating on a slippery slope where much of their work could be erased in a week or two of Hogan's reign. It's a helluva gamble though, and it will be fun to see how it unfolds.

Another noteworthy event that took place in the wrestling world was Batista turning on his cartoon character of a friend Rey Mysterio. I am all for this, because if there is one thing I like of my heels it is that they look as imposing as Batista does. And in this regard, Batista has not failed me the least bit. When he first turned during Bragging Rights, telling Mysterio that he wanted to 'rip his head off', and then went from that semi-smirk to that deranged, I'm-going-to-tear-your-fucking-head-off look, I got chills. It was awesome.

A high profile heel turn like this has been needed for some time, and Batista, if anybody, was the right guy. His look, his move set, and his ability as of late to sway the crowd whatever way he wants (despite not being all that charismatic) is conducive to any heel.

Plus, for a minute there I thought, with all the over-the-top hugging and snuggling Rey and Dave had going before the turn, we were in store for a Billy and Chuck kind of storyline. And not that there's anything wrong with that, but considering the size difference between the two, one would think Rey could only take so much of Batista's dick. That storyline just wouldn't have been believable now that I think about it. Maybe now though, Mysterio and Evan Bourne can go at it... secretly I've always been rooting for those two anyways.

Old gimmicks are old. I don't know about you, but seeing unprepared weekly guest hosts on Monday Night RAW have been embarrassing to me as a wrestling fan. I'd venture to guess that at least half of them, if not more, came in with little-to-no prep, and went on to spit in our faces by mispronouncing names and ruining segments (I will admit "Summerfest" was a gem though).

You might say that it was already a freak show before, but ever since the guest host gimmick, RAW has truly transformed itself into a pathetic gimmick yearning for mainstream attention. I can only count on one hand how many good hosts we have had (Shaq, Bob Barker, Snoop Dog, and that's fucking it) through the months, yet it seems like S.T.U.P.I.D. is going to keep this weekly trainwreck going, all in the name of an extra tenth of a point or two in the Nielsen ratings. No mispronunciations that embarrass the company are going to stop the madman from putting on whichever celebrity or flavor of the month wants to push their product. I swear to you, if RAW is a catastrophe tonight, it's coming off my DVR scheduled recordings. I'm really tired of wasting my time with it. /end rant

One more thing I'd like to mention before I end this... Ken Anderson, what happened to you? After S.T.U.P.I.D. fired you, you entertained your fans for a couple of months with weekly Youtube sketches that, although only a couple minutes in length, allowed us to get our weekly "fix" of your talent. When you put an end to those episodes, which was roughly around the same time your no-compete clause with the WWE expired, we all expected your grand return to the ring. After all, we have only seen you wrestling on television just once in eleven months: eight months out with that injury, and three months of the no-compete clause. Yet now we're fast approaching a month that you have yet to sign anywhere after being eligible; when really, there is only one place to sign: TNA.

So what's with the wait? Did I not obsess and praise over you enough? I sincerely doubt that. I mean after all, I had dreams where you and I... nevermind.

The end.

Things Ain't Changing...

2009-10-30T10:03:00.003-04:00

It's starting to sound like I'm somebody who just likes to complain for the sake of it, but really I'm not. In general I am a positive person who sees more good than bad in things. It's just the WWE, really, that I have issues with these days, as it really looks like nothing is changing in that damn company.

Yes, I occassionally hear, as you do, that S.T.U.P.I.D. went off on somebody backstage about how they haven't built up any stars, and maybe that does mean something for that day that Vince blows up. Yet, this past Sunday on Bragging Rights - yet another gimmicky PPV I will never buy - we saw who win the heavyweight titles? John Cena and The Undertaker. Like we've never seen that before. Only God and SyFy nerds who desperately pray that Battlestar Galactica comes back as they sob in their mom's attic know... wait, where was I going again? Oh yea - nobody knows, or gives a fuck who the ECW Champion is, so that's not worth mentioning. But I digress...

What comes of Cena holding the title? Well... I got nothing. It was revealed this past RAW that the champ will be defending his belt against Triple H and Shawn Michaels in a triple threat match next PPV, but what good does that do? Maybe, just maybe, the WWE will finally do us a favor and end DX once and for all? Doubtful. Especially considering the merchandise that sorry-excuse-for-its-former-self tag team moves. But even if that were to happen, is that something we want to see? Not I, because Triple H and Shawn Michaels get moved back into singles roles - and as much as I can't stand DX anymore, I'd rather them stay together and ruin just one or two segments a night rather than see the two go their separate ways and ruin half the show each week.

It's not really that I have an issue with Cena actually holding the title. I get it - he's the company man, and he who sucks S.T.U.P.I.D.'s wang gets the strap put on em every few months. But the way the company has a knack for putting Cena in less-than-stellar feuds that ultimately end in Cena ripping open his shirt to show the world he is, in fact, Superman in the flesh, gets old. And all the while as he does this, his convincing victories where he, for the millionth time, triumphs all odds, negates any progress his antagonists has made the last few months [see: The Miz (2009), Shawn Michaels (2007), Legacy (2009), The Big Show (numerous times), etc].

As for the Undertaker, let me just put it like this - the man has only been able to put on a good match just a handful of times each year. His gimmick is stale, and frankly, over-the-top corny. I will give him all the props in the world though for his legendary feats, but if I have to sit through another promo which he ends with "Rest In Peace", I will be playing Russian Roulette by myself with a fully loaded pistol.

That is all.

Something I'm Currently Obsessed With (Pt. 1)

2009-10-17T21:33:00.002-04:00

Just a cool vid I thought I'd pass along. Watched it maybe 20 times already.

Shane McMahon...

2009-10-16T14:47:00.006-04:00

So it looks like Shane McMahon resigned from the WWE. Obviously us nostalgic bunch got a rod every time Shane O' Mac graced us with his presence on WWE programming, as it almost always made for good entertainment, so it's definitely sad to see him go.

But can you honestly say you didn't see this coming? For years now, all indicators have pointed towards Stephanie taking over the WWE whenever S.T.U.P.I.D. stepped down. Shane's fresh vision for the WWE, which heavily leaned towards, uhhhhhh, that thing called wrestling, greatly differed from the cheap-laughs-crap that S.T.U.P.I.D., S.T.U.P.I.D.'s princess, and the man taxing S.T.U.P.I.D.'s princess all envisioned. God what I would give to be in Lavesque's shoes. Can you imagine the things he does to her? Better yet, can you imagine the things she... sorry, I'm getting off-topic. Let's move on.

I know it's become a clichè to say that the WWE is heading down the tubes - that's been beaten to death, and giving you guys the 10 billionth-and-first article on that subject would be torture for both you and me. What hasn't been said though is that Shane was one of the few who had a long-term plan and had some influence to boot. No I didn't think he wasn't ever going to bring back the WWE to a respectable level all by his lonesome... we'll probably never have an era like that again. But just knowing that somebody back there, well, somebody who was occasionally back there and wasn't one of S.T.U.P.I.D.'s lackeys has always been good enough for me. And now, we have one less of those guys.

We now return to your regularly-scheduled dick-sucking, team creative. Go nuts on those shriveled... nah, too easy.

Hmmmm

2009-10-11T07:38:00.001-04:00

Whatever happened to the good ol' days where, with a college course, you could just show up for exams and any other important days and do just fine? Since when did we all need to be babied and have our hand held through each and every class?

Just sayin...

XHeadlines...

2009-10-07T13:43:00.003-04:00

So it seems my gig as a columnist at XHeadlines has come to a close. I really couldn't explain why it ended even if I tried, because I don't know myself to be quite honest. All I can say is that it did indeed end.

It's weird because I thought I had somewhat of a good thing going with Jacob Spades, the webmaster of the site: we were shuckin and jivin in our somewhat regular podcasts, and I really had a vested interest in the growth of that site, bouncing ideas for it off him whenever we spoke on the phone. I mean, I know I wasn't technically doing much outside of the columns and the few podcasts I was in, but I did still feel like a bigger part of the site.

Anyways, I left a message for Jacob a couple days ago... and no response yet. I guess it's no different than any of the other 8-10 times I tried to contact him, but something as important as this, at least in my mind, I thought would have elicited some semblance of a response. Who knows... maybe the guy is just going through some tough times and would rather not deal with this at the moment, or maybe I just wasn't as integral a part of their big-picture as I thought I was. The evidence towards the latter certainly indicates as much.

A Radio Show of Note...

2009-09-20T01:52:00.002-04:00

Many of us listen to radio to help pass the time as we work our asses off in our little cubicles. I personally was fortunate enough to stumble across WJFK about 18 months ago while searching for new music. Almost instantly I got hooked to the entire lineup of shows, from The Junkies in the morning through The Mike O'Meara show (previously The Don and Mike Show) during the afternoon drive back home. Both shows brought different things to the table, but it was the show sandwiched between those shows, The Big O and Dukes Show, that really did it for me.

These guys (Oscar Santana, Chad Dukes, and Matt Cahill) weren't your standard corny DJ's who did the whole tired, but proven-to-work shock jock kinda stuff. They were real people who were just legitimately funny in their own right, and they constantly interacted with listeners either by taking as many calls during the show as possible, keeping in touch on Facebook, hanging out at local fast-food joints, or hosting events of all kinds. Sadly, the station became a victim of the sports-talk fad that has all but killed free talk radio, and the show was cancelled.

Inevitably they'll have another run on some kind of satellite/HD radio station, but for those of us who are anxiously awaiting their return, below is a video put together of some of the many great moments on the show. Enjoy.

NBA Referees Let Go

2009-09-20T01:43:00.005-04:00

"The NBA announced Friday that it would train replacement officials after failing to reach an agreement on a new contract with its referees union."

Best thing to happen to the NBA in a while. I don't know how an entire group of senior citizens managed to hang onto jobs that require quick reflexes, perfect vision, and quick thinking, for so long. This group of idiots have ruined the NBA for, oh, 20 years now - ruining a perfecting good basketball game by inserting themselves in the limelight whenever they needed attention.

Good riddance.

Grounded Greenhorns

2009-09-18T16:05:00.002-04:00

Back in May I bestowed upon you an epic two-part piece on the up-and-comers of the WWE titled "The Greenhorns of Grappling". Mass hysteria ensued after it was published, and rightfully so. You may be wondering why I'm tooting my own horn considering I was not 100% accurate regarding how each of the wrestlers would fare in the months following that column. But really, if any of you claim you knew how it would turn out for each wrestler all along, you're lying to yourself you jerks.

All kidding aside, I look back on the two-parter and I can't help but wonder what I was thinking at the time. Did I really call Matt Hardy a "greenhorn"? Why wasn't Dolph Ziggler in the column? And MVP in the top 3? Really? I don't know, maybe I was heavily under the influence of [insert type of alcohol/drug here, your guess is as good as mine], or maybe my own personal preferences of wrestlers got in the way.

And look, even if I was wrong about half the people on the list, I stand by my assertion that each and every one of those guys still has a chance to make something of themselves in the industry. But for whatever reason, they're either no longer employed by a major wrestling company, no longer getting a push that makes sense, or they just couldn't put the fucking booze down and stop their pot-belly from growing (I'm looking at you Matt Hardy).

So let's do this. You thought that last two-parter on the Greenhorns of Grappling was epic?

(crickets)

...

(moar crickets)

...

(now-bored crickets)

No? Just me? Well fuck.

Either way, brace yourselves for an actually-epic ten-parter on the Grounded Greenhorns of Grappling, a series dedicated to each wrestler of note in my original two-part column. Not only will we be discussing what could have been and what still could be, but also what has gone wrong, how it went wrong, and most importantly, why it went wrong.

Now now, for those of you who have just about had it with greenhorns/schmeenhorns, fear not... this won't be the only thing I'll be writing here in the coming weeks. Intertwined with this series will also be my not-so-regular posts! And soon enough I'm also hoping to finally get a hold of XHeadlines' webmaster (HI JACOB SPADES!!! CALL ME?!?!?), to get back to those podcasts we were once knocking out of the park.

And now I've painted myself into a corner - I really can't come up with an ending other than the cliche'd "Stay tuned". So, ummmmm...

I'm Ron Burgandy. Go fuck yourself San Diego.

Attention Whores

2009-08-26T15:54:00.001-04:00

Up to this day during my time here on the planet, I have generally led a calm, peaceful lifestyle. I've only gotten into fisticuffs with another person one time... and even then I was maybe 10 or 11 years old, so that doesn't really count. Very rarely do things truly get me angry nowadays, and to some degree that can be both an asset and a flaw of mine depending on the situation. But one of the few things that does really bother me and evoke a strong emotion is an attention whore.

For those of you not familiar with the term, look no further than Bret Favre of the Minnesota Vikings as an example. This man, no matter how you guys want to put it, had ESPN wrapped around his fucking finger as every uptight sports anchor with god-knows-what shoved up his/her already-puckered asshole awaits his next press conference or public statement. For fuck's sake, he even had Rachel Nicols in front of one of his homes, reporting on how he just mowed his own grass!

No 40-year-old quarterback coming off an elbow injury deserves attention of this magnitude, but you know Favre basks in this crap, thinking to himself "They never learn... same shit year after year". Anyways, the reason I'm bringing Favre up, albeit maybe a week too late, is because all the coverage surrounding him had me thinking about some of the top attention whores in wrestling... and let me let you in on a little secret - there are plenty of em!

As much as I love the guy, Chris Jericho may be the biggest media whore around. I don't know what it was that so radically changed him during his recent hiatus from wrestling, but the guy not only came out on the other end of it attaching his face to every garbage VH1 "Top x" lists, but he came out thinking his band - for some reason - was freaking U2. Now, I'm not knocking his wrestling talents at all - for the record he's #2 on my list of top assets in the WWE. But if I ever have to put up with him watch him Tweet away like an idiot (oh wait...), or worse yet, promote his band on RAW again, I may have to swallow a gun barrel and call it a life.

Another attention whore who hogs the WWE limelight is the Schizophrenic Top-dog Unable to Put together Impressive Disputes. That's right ladies and gentlemen, the one and only S.T.U.P.I.D.!!! Yes, I know part of his character is to be theatrical and over-the-top, but when this fool makes a mockery of wrestling by flexing at the front and center of shows (see: The Stan Kroenke segment, any of the Million Dollar Giveaway segments, etc) just so he can entertain him and only himself, the entire product suffers. Yes, we get it Vince, the WWE wouldn't be the same without you... it would be better! But I won't hit you guys with that yet again... that has been discussed ad nauseum throughout my columns.

John Cena sounds like the perfect wrestler: hard work ethic, eats and breathes the WWE, and appeals to many different demographics. The thing is though, I can see right through him (and no, that's not me making a fucking hacky pun of Cena's catch phrase). This guy, although he doesn't win as much as he used to, definitely carries a big stick behind the scenes and uses his position as Vince's but-buddy to his advantage.

It was just recently made public knowledge that when he first came into the WWE he saw a stale product. So what did he do about it? After solidifying himself as the company man of all company mans, he went to Vince and said that the WWE was so stale that the product needed to become PG. Words... cannot describe... my anger... with that statement. I pray (and I'm not one for praying) that you all see the irony in that. If not, you're a lost cause. Ultimately, I think Cena is probably good for the WWE at the moment, but his reputation is that of a class-act professional... I see him more as a Triple H-type behind the scenes, but that's just me.

Speak of the devil, here's the biggest attention whore the WWE has ever seen... Triple H! That's right! The man who participated in the most disappointing main event in Wrestlemania history! The man who, by himself, built a glass ceiling for the entireRAW roster! The man who can't take it when he doesn't have a title at least every four months! The man who inspired the Edge-Vicky Guerrero storyline! Had enough? Yea me too.

My Top Five Most Annoying Athletes of our Generation

2009-08-18T21:14:00.001-04:00

Enjoy...

1. Bret Favre

2. Terrell Owens

3. Chad Johnson

4. LeBron James

5. LaDainian Tomlinson

(subject to change)

David Ortiz Tested Positive...

2009-07-30T18:44:00.001-04:00

Let's just throw Cal Ripken and Ken Griffey into the steroid mix and call it an era.

Ugh...

2009-07-30T13:48:00.000-04:00

A coworker had her grandson brought in just a minute ago. Like clockwork, every woman in the office crowded around the baby and spoke in that annoying voice. Their uteruses were practically glowing.

Night of Champions Preview

2009-07-26T09:26:00.000-04:00

I've never ordered this PPV in my life, and tonight will be no different. There tends to be a lot of hype heading into this one what with all the titles being on line. But from what I remember, there generally aren't too many titles that change hands this night, which is why the WWE will never get my 50 bucks in the month of July.

For those of you who agree with me and never order this gimmicky PPV, have no fear; I have all the results right here. That's right... I'm so freaking confident in my predictions, I'm calling them the RESULTS!

WWE Women’s Championship
- Michelle McCool (c) vs. Melina

No matter how good Melina is, this match will be ruined by McCool, who I now liken to being so boring that she will henceforth be known as the female Great Khali. She can look as hot as she wants (on the last Smackdown she looked especially bang-able), but she'll never get a wrestling stamp of approval from me. Anyways, the female Great Khali is taking this down, and only because The Undertaker, her rumored boyfriend at the moment, probably thinks like she needs another significant reign as champion to further destroy the Women's division.

Pick - the female Great Khali

WWE Divas Championship
- Maryse (c) vs. Mickie James

Speaking of being "especially bang-able", Maryse has grown in front of our very eyes. She has gotten to the point that I believe she plays her character so well that I wouldn't be surprised the least bit if she really were a gloating, catty, egomaniacal Diva. Anyways, both Maryse and James are at the top of a very short list of entertaining Diva wrestlers, and this match won't let anybody down. I expect James to win the strap, and only because that would be the best possible result in order to continue this surprisingly entertaining rivalry.

Pick - Mickie James

WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match
- Chris Jericho & ? (c’s) vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase

Jericho hinted at his potential tag-team partner on Twitter, saying that his partner will "be EVIL". My guess is that Kane will be his partner, and my prediction is that Jericho and Kane won't relinquish their belts. I see no reason for Rhodes and DiBiase to win the titles, other than to do the whole clichéd "every member of this faction (Legacy) has gold". Plus, having Jericho hold on to the belts allows for him to make an appearance on any brand, which allows for further flexibility in top-card wrestling matchups.

Pick: Chris Jericho and ?

WWE United States Championship – Six Pack Challenge
- Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Big Show vs. MVP vs. Carlito vs. Jack Swagger vs. The Miz

Every once in a while the WWE runs out of things to do with much of their talent. And for some strange reason every time this happens, the powers that be lazily deem it ok to have, what I like to call, A Storyline-Avoiding Clusterfuck. That would be this. One would think, judging from all the positive reactions that MVP and Swagger got from their rivalry, that it would be ok to let them continue their program and build it up to the point where they deserve their own PPV match, but no... creative gets too lazy. The same even goes for Kingston and Big Show. Anyways, I'm just ranting now, but I will say that this match has a chance to steal the show; and the person coming out on top will be The Big Show.

Pick - The Big Show

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match
- Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

As much as I hate to say it, Ziggler has impressed the hell out of me. I actually look forward to his matches, which is far from what I felt about him when he first came along. Anyhow, considering Jeff Hardy is leaving Smackdown soon, the title needs to go to Ziggler to help build his character and to help fill that void at the top. Mysterio retaining will do nothing for the WWE.

Pick - Dolph Ziggler

ECW Championship Match
- Tommy Dreamer (c) vs. Christian

I have a confession... I haven't watched ECW in a month. I've been too busy, ummmm, picking my nose? Playing video games? Staring at the ceiling? The point is, ever since ECW got raped of all their talent in that lame Trump trade, the program hasn't been worthy of my clearly-precious time. And with that, I'm flipping a coin for this match. Heads - Dreamer, and Tails - Christian... ... ... ... ... Tails! Christian wins! Christian wins!

Pick - Christian

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match
- CM Punk (c) vs. Jeff Hardy

This one is easy. With Hardy leaving as soon as his contract expires, there is zero chance he will win. I expect Punk to somehow weasel his way out of this one and retain. To be honest, with how impressive Punk been as of his heel turn, he deserves it.

Pick - CM Punk

WWE Championship – Triple Threat Match
- Randy Orton (c) vs. Triple H vs. John Cena

I get the feeling we've been here before... hmmmmmm. Wasn't this one of the main evens a couple Wrestlemania's ago? Hmmmmmm. And why do I want to watch this even again? Have any of these three been anything but disappointing this whole last year? Am I turning into one of those annoying people who make points by asking questions?

Pick - John Cena

Mr. Kennedy's Moniker

2009-07-23T13:54:00.001-04:00

(In light of Ken Anderson's recent post on 'The Heyman Hustle', I almost canceled out this article altogether. Unfortunately, I've come down with a bad case of writer's block, and this is really the best I have to offer. Ugh, I'm not selling this article to you, the reader, very well am I? I'll shut my mouth now...)

Ladies and gentlemen... from Burke, Virginia... Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... BHATIAAAAAAA......

...

...

...

BHATIAAAAA!

Welcome back to this edition of Neil's Highlight Reel. I was ---> <--- close to never returning from my cruise and becoming an illegal immigrant in the beautiful city of Freeport, Bahamas. But foreign customs outwitted me yet again - damn those party-poopers. So here I am, ready to get back into it.

It has been reported that Mr. Anderson aka Mr. Kennedy got back into ring with Umaga just a little while ago... unfortunately it was all for a promotion outside of the WWE, but it's all gravy. Anyhow, a video that surfaced on Youtube revealed that Mr. Kennedy was, at least for that one night, granted the right to use the name Mr. Kennedy, as he used that moniker the same way he always has during his match intro. This video made me pitch a tent in my pants had me excited because I thought that maybe, just maybe, S.T.U.P.I.D. finally lightened up (check my previous articles if you don't get that acronym) and let Ken Anderson have the name back. But another video I found shortly after this one conflicted with that, as seemingly before the match during an autograph session, my dreamy soul mate favorite wrestler claimed he was now to be known by his real name, Mr. Anderson.

So what am I, a 14-year-old-fangirl-stuck-in-the-body-of-a-23-year-old-male, supposed to think? To which name will my hero be returning with in just over a month? Here are the possibilities:

Sr. Kennedy - Only in countries where the lawns stay mowed... just kidding! God it's fun to be brown + racist... it's a good way to keep you all on your toes. Besides, I'm 100% sure the Webmaster for this site wet his pants when he read that, and any obscene sayings that can potentially wet the webmaster's pants are alright in my book.

Mr. Kennedy-Kennedy - The only issue I can see with this is, when ring announcers, play-by-play guys, backstage interviewers, and other wrestlers have to say the name themselves, it won't sound good since they'll all be saying it twice. And considering Mr. Kennedy is the only person who should be saying the name so nice it needs to be said twice, it would lose its je ne sais quois.

Mr. Kenedy - No I'm not retarded... I know that is an 'n' short, and your reaction to that name is exactly why this version wouldn't work in the least. It looks awful, and selling merchandise with this moniker on it would be a disaster.

Mr. Anderson - Don't do it Ken. Don't do it! The name "Mr. Anderson" only belongs in green-screen movies with Keanu Reeve's lifeless face!

Mr. Kenneday - This is the one. It can be pronounced exactly as it was in the WWE by fans and wrestlers alike, plus it doesn't look bad at all on paper. Sadly, it doesn't look like Ken will be keeping any form of Mr. Kennedy, but I'll keep my fingers crossed just in case.

Top Five Michael Jackson Songs (Updated)

2009-06-27T01:07:00.004-04:00

Pretty simple post here...

UPDATE: I slept on Dirty Diana... god what a song.

1. Dirty Diana (replacing Man in the Mirror, which was at #5)
2. Billy Jean
3. Beat It
4. Don't Stop Till You Get Enough
5. Thriller

RIP Michael.

The Donald's Point?

2009-06-26T16:00:00.009-04:00

What is this?!? THREE POSTS FOR EACH OF THE LAST THREE DAYS IN A ROW?!? Don't get used to it... I fully intend to eventually ditch this site and just watch Transformers 2 every day for the rest of my remaining life so I can see Megan Fox prance around in slow-motion while she wears those wonderful short-shorts. And yes, I would die a happy man if that happened.

(sidebar: To truly exhibit my distaste for Vince McMahon, from here on out I will no longer refer to that man by his name. Henceforth, he will be known as the Schizophrenic Top-dog Unable to Put together Impressive Disputes... aka S.T.U.P.I.D. I'm going to try it out and see if it works... if you have any suggestions, let me know.)

Two weeks ago we all could not wait for the big announcement S.T.U.P.I.D. (yea, that works) claimed he had in store for us on the 6/15 edition of Monday Night RAW. Naturally, since that particular episode was being held in North Carolina, and since rumor had it that Ric Flair - a revered man in the same state - was foaming at the mouth in anticipation of getting back into the ring, we fans thought we were putting two and two together by figuring that Flair would be named GM of RAW. How wrong we were.

S.T.U.P.I.D. stunned us all when he announced he was (kayfabe) selling the Monday night show off to, of all people, Donald Trump. Clearly S.T.U.P.I.D. went all Alzheimer's on us and forgot that he used Trump just a couple Wrestlemanias ago, but I guess that's neither here nor there now. Anyways, after that revelation came to light the internet was flooded with every schmo's opinion on what possibilities could come of this. Some suggested that this was the lead-in to SummerSlam. Others thought this was just a ratings ploy that would span only a couple weeks, maybe a month. Even a Smackdown (ran by S.T.U.P.I.D.) vs. Raw (ran by Trump) storyline was suggested on one site. But despite my disgust for Trump and his tired schtick - which I've already ranted about on one of the XHeadlines radio shows - I have to admit that the possibilities for this situation were numerous.

But one week later in the same surprising fashion, S.T.U.P.I.D. bought back RAW from Trump in what I can only call one of the most artificial segments I've ever watched. I was shocked. And no, not because we had witnessed ownership change hands on RAW for the second consecutive week. I was shocked because I thought the WWE had set themselves up for a compelling couple of weeks open to mainstream media attention by bringing The Donald in, but they threw that opportunity on the ground and took a big giant "poopy" on it... John Cena style.

Now a full business week after the trainwreck, the short, succinct "power struggle" over RAW still blows my mind. I can't even wrap my head around why the WWE would bother bringing in such a big name if the person would only be around for a short time. Did the WWE think that we'd be so distracted by that dead cat on Trump's head that we wouldn't realize how manic the last few weeks had been?

It's possible that this was just a trial run to see if they could use Trump or a person of similar stature down the road - which an official WWE press release sort of confirmed when it said that there remained a chance of the business mogul and S.T.U.P.I.D. could collide yet again. Sadly (sense the sarcasm?), I can't envision yet another scenario where Trump re-enters the WWE Universe. But hey, I was saying the exact same thing last time he showed his ugly mug.

Obviously, short-term ratings - the simplest reason of them all - could be the explanation behind Trump's hello/goodbye. Ratings spiked from the normal range of RAW's 3.1 - 3.5 up above 4.0. Granted, some of that may be due to the ad-free aspect of that RAW, but if it were quantifiable I'd bet that the attention Trump got was more responsible for that bump than the missing commercials. On top of that, the WWE's upcoming pay-per-view "The Bash" has as much momentum heading into it as the next Charlie Haas match. Trump may have made his appearance solely to boost interest in the PPV even though, at the moment, looks like he'll have nothing to do with it.

If I had to take a guess though, my explanation behind this whole ordeal has more to do with the kayfabe storyline. One thing I noticed is that the move turned the fans on S.T.U.P.I.D. in a big way, since he went as far as saying that the fans didn't deserve all the things Trump was doing for them (which obviously garnered a strong negative fan reaction). I would pat myself on the back for solving this puzzle, but shortly after Vince "bought back" RAW he put Randy Orton in a Three Stages of Hell title match against none other than the wrestler currently laying the wood to his daughter (a move the fans cheered). That sorta throws my whole theory behind Trump off, but hey, if they WWE blatantly ignores character history amongst their wrestlers, then I can conveniently ignore what I want.

I have to say though - turning S.T.U.P.I.D.'s character around, if that is indeed what creative was going for, makes for some juicy television in the coming months. We could have a heel GM hire as soon as the next RAW (William Regal anybody?). Vince could even turn on HHH, although that wouldn't make any sense at all. A babyface could get a big push by standing up to S.T.U.P.I.D. and his potential heel character down the road (like MVP's now-rotting corpse). Sadly that babyface could've been (of course) Mr. Kennedy, and Kennedy vs. S.T.U.P.I.D. would have had the chance to push the WWE to a new level, but nooooooooooo... S.T.U.P.I.D. had to be a little pissant and fire him. Oh well.

There I go, off on a tangent again... ladies and gentlemen, your daily Mr. Kennedy rant! On that note, I'm out. My brain is about to explode.

Remembering The King of Pop

2009-06-25T19:33:00.008-04:00

It is the rarest of occasions for my mom and I to sit down and watch, of all things, CNN. I can count on just my two hands the few times we've glared at the TV to watch as a headlining story unfolded... The OJ Simpson verdict, 9/11, the DC sniper, and most recently, the Virginia Tech tragedy. Never before has a celebrity death single-handedly silenced the entire household. But your death, pardon my phrasing, did the trick.

For my parents you were the only English music worth listening to when they first immigrated to the US many years ago. And even to this day, the only time my mother tolerates any non-native music is yours! Your albums were probably the first piece of pop culture they sampled, and although they never fully immersed themselves into American music, you did give them a little something they enjoyed.

I, on the other hand, never got to see you in person. Hell, I've never seen any musical acts in person... not one! But God knows if I had the chance to see you live, I would've done anything to do so. And even though I was but a wee little boy when you became the most recognizable face on the planet, I've come to immensely appreciate your legacy now - two decades after your dominance at the top of the charts.

If anything, you can see, just within the confines of my own tiny family, how important you were. Maybe you weren't a friend or family member to us, but you were one of the rare and few things my family and I shared.

I have to admit that, while CNN was still gathering all the details of the situation, I was holding on to some hope yet. Officially the news channels hadn't confirmed your death, and although all signs pointed towards what we now know as the truth, I still was grasping onto the off-chance that you were alive. But with the confirmation coming merely minutes after I turned on the TV, my heart sunk just a little.

Now, though, is the time to remember just what you meant to the world. You were the King of Pop. A singer. A dancer. A performer. An icon. But most of all, you were the voice of many generations - both past and present, and will remain so for the generations to come.

RIP Michael Jackson.

Megan Fox

2009-06-24T15:36:00.004-04:00

Off to see Megan Fox and the supposedly-terrible Transformers 2... I think she'll be worth the price of admission though.

Post-Haste

2009-06-15T15:53:00.002-04:00

"Patience is the companion of wisdom."

My mind is blown when I see how often the WWE gets in its own way. I don't know, maybe it has to do with the pussification of today's world thanks to all the hoopla and overreaction to Janet Jackson's boob making that ever-so-infamous appearance at the Super Bowl. Certainly that moment forever changed the things we see and hear through today's entertainment outlets, but that can't be the sole reason as to why the WWE has become a shred of its former self. When I look back at all the god-awful mistakes the WWE has made, and not throughout time but just in the last year or two alone, there is an underlying commonality that rears its ugly head in every disaster-of-a-decision I can recall: the lack of patience.

The biggest mistake the WWE ever committed (and I know that phrase is used a lot, particularly in this column, but here it applies) was to seperate the brands into two (now three) different entities. At the time, of course it made sense to split everybody up to give more wrestlers the chance to make a name for themselves. With all the talent they acquired through the buyout of the WCW, Vince McMahon saw that he was, more than ever before, flooded with talent. But what the WWE failed to realize was that the faces of the company who had carried them during that time, namely The Rock and Hulk Hogan, weren't going to be there all that much longer. Had Vince had the foresight to see that his precious few stars had their WWE days numbered, I truly believe we wouldn't have seen the split.

The can of worms we fans were handed when Mike Adamle was named the RAW General Manager a little while back was one of the most embarrassing moments in the WWE's history. By FAR, Adamle was already the worst announcer ever hired by the company, yet for some outlandish reason Vince thought he could pull it off as a GM? And for his flagship program?!? Did he not see Adamle booed every time Adamle walked to his chair before shows? And, call me crazy, but I wasn't the only one who knew Adamle's constant stammering was far from being an act, was I? We all knew he was not anywhere close to being ready for TV, yet somehow he was "promoted" within the company - something that proverbial heads should have rolled for.

And what about Mr. Kennedy's firing? (you knew this was coming, so stop pretending you're upset with me) Of course I know that Kennedy dealt with injury problems at the most inopportune of times, but I can't begin to comprehend why this man - somebody who everybody knows is fully capable of being a star in the company - was released just because he was a bit stiff in the ring coming off an eight-month layoff.

Sorry, but it confuses me that they let him go and nobody backstage objected in the least while total wastes of space like Kane, who the creative team has admitted that they have no ideas for, remain on the roster. I guess team creative can't get over the fact that Kennedy, with whom they could have gone many directions creatively, needed to shake off a little ring-rust while nobodies like Kane, Goldust, Hornswaggle, Mike Knox, Jamie Noble, Festus, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Sim Snuka, Charlie Haas, Curt Hawkins, The Great Khali, Kung Fu Naki, R-Truth, Jimmy Wang Yang, and every last one of the WWE Divas (except Maryse... she can stick around) remain on the roster? That's unacceptable... even by what I thought used to be the WWE's standards.

Another thing I cannot get over is how many times the World Heavyweight Championship exchanges hands. By my count, the belt has been passed on from one wrestler to another 13 times in the last 15 months! If the WWE gives a lick about how prestigious this belt should be, then they need to make up their god damn minds and stop putting the title on whoever they think is the flavor of the month. Even though Smackdown has been the show that has seperated itself from the rest of the pack in every which way, I'm not surprised in the least bit that it has the reputation within the company of being the "B" show. Fortunately, for the time being it looks like CM Punk is going to get a longer title reign than his previous one since creative is now dead-set on having him turning heel. As much of a mistake I think that is -although I will admit it's something fresh to watch - establishing him as a heel will require a solid chunk of time with him as the champion (ideally).

Neil the Nervous Nelly

2009-06-10T20:46:00.002-04:00

As you guys know, I'm amongst many fine columnists at XHeadlines.com. Everybody brings different things to the table for that site, and, in general, I do my best to provide quality content in each of my columns. Each "piece" generally takes me 3-4 hours to complete what with revisions, re-revisions, and re-re-revisions - for the most part I'm happy with my finished product. But tonight, I will be trying my hand at something different: podcasts.

There is no such thing as revisions or do-overs with these, and considering I have the unfortunate reputation for stuttering and stammering my way through phone conversations, I'm pretty damn nervous (in case the title of this didn't give that way) with what I'm going to be doing in just a couple minutes. Maybe I wouldn't be as nervous as I am now if I had time to prep for the show beforehand, but life rudely interrupted most of my day (just kidding mommy!).

Anyhow, wish me luck. I'll probably still fuck this thing up one way or the other, but maybe with your well wishes I'll fuck up less.

The WWE and Sin City

2009-06-09T05:53:00.001-04:00

Reintegrating myself into society is always a struggle when coming back from Vegas, where days and nights mesh together as you pass the time drinking and gambling hours on end. That first Monday morning back - which is when I’m writing this now - is always the worst. Sleep is really hard to come by the Sunday night before (I got zero last night), and by one o’clock the next day I can think of nothing else but getting back home and crashing on my bed to recoup some of the many Z’s I’d lost. Vegas is good for you in a way though… most of the things you can make do without, you do. The internet is usually the first thing people give up, and as shown above, oversleeping would most definitely be the second sacrifice. But for me though, it really surprised me how bothered I was that I missed out on a whole week’s worth of WWE television.

Now, one would think that Mr. Kennedy’s release - which came only the day before I left for my trip - would be the straw that broke the camel’s back for yours truly, forcing me to leave the WWE the way a battered wife would leave an abusive husband. As strange as this sounds though - considering that I’d gladly present myself for Mr. ~~Kennedy~~ Anderson should we ever bump into each other - I couldn’t wait to see what happened next. Unfortunately, I had to keep my priorities straight (see: strippers, degenerative gambling, drinking), so WWE had to wait until I returned to my glorious DVR. In the meantime though, while I was doing whatever I was doing in that city that God forgot to watch over, this sickie couldn’t help but draw comparisons between the WWE and Sin City, which really aren’t that different.

For instance, MVP and the Luxor (above) are identical in every which way. The Luxor is a brilliant black pyramid with a light coming out the top point that shines all the way up to the night sky. On the inside though, the Luxor is as boring as Sunday Night baseball on ESPN, with a very Old Vegas look they couldn’t get rid of even after renovations. MVP himself is a beautiful black man (as far as Sherri Shepherd is concerned), whose potential is indeed sky-high. He’s certainly flashy outside the ring, but when he gets inside the ropes, no matter how many new moves he’s come up with, he’s the same sluggish guy we’ve seen before. Uncanny ain’t it?

Another two things that can’t be more similar between Vegas and the WWE? Guys on the strip handing out hookers’ business cards and Vince McMahon’s childish sense of humor. If you don’t know what I’m talking about when it comes to the former, allow me to explain. About every other block on the strip there are guys handing out business card-sized pictures of a naked hooker and her number to every passerby. These guys are really the scum of the earth in the sense that they’re making money off of some perv paying somebody for sex, which in my opinion is one of the worst things a man can do. Vince McMahon’s sense of humor isn’t really all that different. Little people are clearly not off limits for him. Playing up to different races’ stereotypes is something he’s infamous for, and hell, even incest - one of the most vile topics in a normal society, is an idea he’s toyed with on multiple occasions in the past. You’re not funny Vince… not even close. In fact, you need help.

Planet Hollywood, my favorite casino of all, and Randy Orton, my favorite current WWE wrestler of all, have all the same qualities. PH has a little something for everybody - a great gambling atmosphere, pole dancers + barely-dressed women dealing games, and a low-key club to boot for those who just want to hang out and have a good time. Randy Orton, as you’ve probably surmised by now, also has everything you could imagine - a strong mic presence along with a convincing character, a personalized set of moves that fit well with most other wrestlers, and intangibles that I can’t begin to count. Both have everything going for them at the moment, and really stand out from the crowd.

Okay, I’m all done with my comparisons now. This whole idea was probably a stretch, but I may as well get this all out of my system now rather than later. I promise I’ll get back to my Mr. Kennedy-obsessing, WWE-smearing daily programming next time.

An Open Letter to Mr. Kennedy

2009-06-06T02:25:00.001-04:00

Dear Ken,

First thing’s first - we all wish you the best of success in your personal and professional life. You’ve had some moments I’m sure you wish you could take back, but from what we can tell you’re a hard worker and an even better family man. A true model for any amateurs looking to get into the business to say the least.

Now, from what can be gathered the release was a rash decision made by somebody up high in the WWE, if not Vince McMahon himself, in reaction to the wrist injury - which, as indicated on your site, is merely a chink in your armor.

In my personal opinion, somebody over the course of the next few days needs to knock some sense into the misguided bozo(s) that called for your release, whomever it may be. Maybe the WWE will come to their senses, and maybe they won’t. But if there isn’t at least any signs of an internal struggle over your release, then I have zero faith in the WWE from here on out. To release somebody as talented, as gifted, and as entertaining as you are is a grave mistake. Naysayers would disagree with me, but you have that innate ability to connect with fans both as a heel and as a face - and with ease nonetheless. That quality is found in the rarest of wrestlers, and considering the horrid state of Monday Night RAW, it’s truly mindblowing that the WWE doesn’t want you.

If the WWE doesn’t realize what they’ve done in the coming days, well, then hopefully we’ll see you on TV for a different brand very soon. We’ll cheer for you, even if you may be wrestling under a different moniker, and will watch you as you prove the WWE wrong.

The best of luck to you sir,
Neil Bhatia

A Man Defines his Surroundings... or Do Surroundings Define the Man?

2009-05-27T20:35:00.001-04:00

Nothing would make me happier if I woke up one morning laying down next to Layla Mr. Kennedy Dixie Carter, and had the following sweet nothing whispered into my ear: "TNA Impact just beat Monday Night Raw in the ratings this week". Not even if my arms were draped around the naked bodies of Maryse and Layla. Not even if Triple H and John Cena both quit wrestling altogether. Not even if I, the fanboy of all fanboys of Mr. Kennedy, got to see him win a heavyweight championship. And why, you must be wondering, is that? Well, because I'd then know that a fire would be lit under Vince McMahon's competitive, killer-instinct spirit... something we haven't seen in a long time.

Of course I know that Vince is a workaholic behind-the-scenes; that's been documented time and time again. But we all know he isn't the same guy he was plum in the middle of the Monday Night Wars. To sum it up best, he's in a box, and a small one at that. The WWE has suffered because of his unwillingness to embrace anything he isn't fond of. Any idea that he doesn't like gets shot down instantly, and the person who comes up with the idea sometimes gets ridiculed. Something that happened just a week ago illustrates that to a tee.

An unnamed person inside team creative suggested a John Cena heel turn - an idea that quite a few wrestling fans have hoped to see come to fruition. McMahon could have easily just dismissed the suggestion and moved on, but being the egotistical man he is, the bossman took it a step further and berated the poor sap who came up with the idea. Vince went on to say how short-sighted the guy was for (and I'm paraphrasing here) not seeing that Cena merchandise continues to make boatloads of money for the WWE. Really though, it's Vince who is short-sighted for not seeing the ramifications of his actions. By bitching out that individual, he further cemented, if not then created, the mindset of "If I don't please Vince, I'm going to get chewed out". And people with mindsets like that have a nickname... they're called 'yes men'. Last I checked, those kinds of people aren't good for any organization in the real world, let alone a wrestling company. See: Bush Jr's administration for proof.

Certainly though, Vince is capable of achieving great things. We all watched him slowly build up the WWE from the humble nothing it used to be and turn it into his vision - now a piece of Americana. The sheer amount of work it must have taken the man to absorb and/or run over all those separate wrestling territories across the country is unfathomable. And that's just the 80's. During the 90's, Vince's battles he waged on the WCW resulted in, by most accounts, the 'Golden Age of Wrestling'... aka the Attitude Era. Looking back at those two eras, it's clear what the driving forces were behind his success. His master plan sustained him well through the 80's, and the WCW clearly drove him as a competitor in the 90's.

So what is it that gets him going now in the 00's? Well, that's the thing... nothing. No longer does our chairman need to look in the rear view mirror to see if failure is tailgating him. To be honest, I can't blame him - he's accomplished everything he has set out to do. Nobody is telling him he can't "make it" anymore, and certainly there are no more Eric Bishoffs around to push his buttons.

To get away from sports-entertainment for a moment, take a look at some legends we've seen rise and fall in our heyday. Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player of all time, was quite possibly the most driven athlete ever in the late 80's and early 90's. First it was the Celtics and Larry Bird who motivated MJ so much that he dropped some of the single greatest individual performances in basketball history on them. After that, the Pistons were the ones who bullied MJ around and forced him to take it to the next level. Then it was the Lakers, led by Magic Johnson (who, by the way, had Larry Bird pushing him for his entire career), and then of course the rest of the league's top players. Once MJ stood on top of the mountain and saw that he had slain all the dragons in the league, what did he do? He became bored, and retired. BORED! The same guy who was once consumed with winning championships became bored!

Still not catching my drift? Let's take the rap icon Eminem as an example from the entertainment industry. When Marshall Mathers first came up he wasn't necessarily fighting a tangible rival who could push him, but instead he was fighting poverty - a staple in his life at that point. He was ravenous to a certain degree in writing his lyrics, and he struggled for every last dime he earned as he worked his way up to the top. The man went on to become so great that he inserted himself into the discussion of the greatest rappers of all time... and with ease too. But following that last extended break he took after earning millions from his life's work, that fiestyness he once had in him was displaced by complacency. Everything he ever wanted he had. Everything he set out to do he did. His legend was already cemented, and the hunger wasn't there. And now when comparing his work pre-hiatus to post, one could easily see just how much a worthy adversary could mean to even the greatest of the greats. A poor man, facing terrible things from the day he was born, drove Eminem to create albums that became an entire generation's voice. But the same man, only this time extremely rich but complacent, produced a very average album this time around.

Vince, like I said before, has very much changed from the man he once was to who he is today, just as Jordan and Eminem changed. No longer is his motivation tied into survival. Rather, it's probably closer to 'let's get every penny we can'. That's fine though... every person has a right to earn. The thing is, Vince continues to market the WWE as a fan-friendly company, which just isn't as true as it used to be.

Fans still groan at the "freaks" Vince trots out like Santina, The Boogeyman, Hornswaggle, and Goldust. The "Million Dollar Giveaway" segments tarnished the company so much that I came -----> (this) <----- close to quitting the WWE altogether. And the segments where Vince goes out there and makes a fool of himself, yet clearly has 100x more fun than anybody in the arena (like the Stan Kroenke segment this last Raw) are far too prevalent. But Vince, clearly off in his strange own sugarcoated, padded-wall world, continues to force them down our throats. We get it Vince, you like freakshows and you think you're the cock of the walk... that doesn't mean we do.

Thanks to Vince's lack of fear of failure, the product the WWE puts out is just average. Unless a change in landscape comes about - and by that change I mean if a competitor comes out of the woodwork and gives Vince a run for his money, we're in for more of those same wasteful segments. Here's to hoping one of those"yes men" who advise him starts a mutiny.

Year of the Bible?

2009-05-22T08:47:00.003-04:00

I don't know what this man hopes to accomplish, but Georgian Republican Paul Broun is hoping to officially make 2010 the "Year of the Bible". Broun is defending himself by claiming "This doesn't have anything to do with Christianity". That ass-backward logic baffles me to say the least.

Last time I checked, imposing religious beliefs onto the nation was frowned upon... right? Maybe it's been a while since I "last checked" though, seeing that when I woke up this morning gay rights remain handicapped, abortion continues to split this nation down the middle, and only Christian presidents get voted in.

Religious freedom my ass.

YOUR Highlight Reel?

2009-05-21T09:09:00.001-04:00

I don’t know if this will work or not, but what the hell…

This is YOUR opportunity to get in one of my celebrated columns and ask me any wrestling-related question you want!

Do you want inside skinny on the goings on of the WWE? Ask away!

Do you wonder what Mr. Kennedy’s jock-strap smells like? I’m your guy!

Do you want to know why I delude myself into thinking my columns are “celebrated” even though, besides XHeadlines, Full Tilt, and a sleazy poker magazine that has gone belly-up, nobody has dared to touch my work with a ten-foot-pole? Grill me!

In all seriousness, if you have questions about the WWE, TNA, or any MMA promotion, please submit them either in the comments section below this column, or email them to me at KGBlovesOreos@gmail.com.

And for goodness sake, if I don’t get enough questions let alone any at all, I’m going to have to have a Q&A column with my own made-up questions… and you wouldn’t do that to me would you?

Judgment Day Preview: A Case of Déjà Vu

2009-05-16T13:28:00.008-04:00

I'm excited for a few of the matches in store for us, but I'm not quite sure what the rhyme or reason was for some of these bookings. Randy Orton vs. Batista I can live with because both men know how to deliver a match. But honestly, haven't we seen a lot of these matches before? And many times at that?

Big Show-Cena has been done to death, and their bouts have set the record for some of the pastiest-white matches we've ever seen... don't worry JBL, your matches with Cena are up there too. But to be honest, seeing Cena FU'ing, not Attitude-Adjusting, the Big Show time and time again flat-out takes away from just how impressive the feat is. I roll my eyes whenever I see it happen, and that is not something a fan should be doing when seeing such an act of strength!

Christian-Jack Swagger is actually a repeat match I can't wait to see. Christian's professionalism has been rubbing off on Jack Swagger, and I've noticed a steady improvement in Swagger's game just in the last two months alone. The program they've had has developed nicely, and ECW has become watchable solely because of these two.

As for Edge-Jeff Hardy, I don't know what to say. I'm confused, to be honest. We all know Hardy's contract is expiring later this summer and that he's declined extensions on multiple occasions, but he's still getting opportunities at the title? Maybe the WWE officials just think he's playing hardball and are just trying to appease him in the meantime, but it's rather risky. Edge could have had a number of programs with other faces such as Rey Mysterio or even CM Punk - both who are far less of a gamble. Either way, the matchup will probably be entertaining based off their history, but will we see anything different?

We'll all find out how the PPV turns out tomorrow. I think we'll see more of the same as we've seen before, but who knows... I could be surprised. Until then, be sure to check out XHeadline's PPV Headquarters for all the information you need for Judgment Day.

Another Change...

2009-05-14T08:56:00.004-04:00

I changed the web address for this page yet again... I was disappointed with the direction I took with this page after changing to wwerumorsandrants.blogspot.com - a pure wrestling site, because it basically became the site where I copied + pasted my wrestling articles from XHeadlines.com. It's not like I have an issue or anything with XHeadlines... they are giving me an opportunity on a highly-trafficked site that has a lot of potential, but the difference in content between my articles there and the posts I put up here was minimal. So here I go again, changing the theme for this page one more time.

Besides, isn't my shiney new title for this site much better? And didn't you miss my terrible poker articles? Or my articles about awkward office bathroom moments?

I know I did.

The Greenhorns of Grappling (Part Two)

2009-05-07T17:55:00.006-04:00

Welcome back you silly gooses/geese/whatever. The following athletes finish up my top ten list of the brightest young stars in the WWE. If you missed part one of The Greenhorns of Grappling, feel free to hit the "Back" button on your browser now to take a look at that masterpiece of mine.

"Masterpiece" is a bit of a stretch I guess, right? Sighhhh... you guys are right. I guess I'm being too hard on myself. It wasn't just a masterpiece - it was a Pulitzer Prize-worthy piece. Better yet, it was the zenith of opinion columns that all future opinion columnists should compare themselves to.

Much better.

Anyhow... back to business.

#5: CM Punk

Some of you may have been annoyed that CM Punk won the MiTB yet again, but he really was the best possible person to win that match. I'll give you that he has technically been a champion before - thus not really making him much of a "greenhorn" - but do any of you view this guy as a legit main-eventer yet? Not yet right?

Well, I feel like his first title reign was REALLY screwed up by creative. But this time around it seems like the right steps have been taken towards building up CM Punk, as he has already pinned Edge legitimately and is now entering a program with Umaga. Once he's really over, and by that I mean once it really becomes believable rather than unbelievable that he's winning matches against the likes of Jericho, Edge, etc, it shouldn't be long before we see him hoisting up a title yet again.

#4: Jack Swagger

Brock Lesnar comes to mind when I see this beast in the ring. Only Shelton Benjamin, Batista, and Triple H's physiques compare to this guy's in terms of modern wrestlers, and although he still has room to improve his delivery on the mic, he's got plenty of raw talent.

His finisher is something I'm not all that impressed with, but that might be me nitpicking at a small thread sticking out of a, well, what is it that these kids wear nowadays... Von Dutch shirt? Whatever it is, it's a small imperfection on a nearly-perfect pure wrestler.

#3: MVP

I'm very curious to see how MVP's most recent push goes, because the longer I think about it the more I'm not sure he can get it done in the ring. I'll give him this - he's damn entertaining on the mic, and he brings a fresh, stylish persona we really haven't seen before.

But as I said, in the ring he isn't all too impressive. As you may have seen the last few weeks, the only time a crowd really, and I mean really gets into his matches is when he either jumps up and down to hype up the crowd (a very obvious gimmick), or he does that 'Ballin!' ditty. The same could be said for other wrestlers, but the way it comes across on the screen to me is that the audience almost falls into a lull before he does one of those two things to get everybody going... and that's not supposed to happen with a future star is it?

He's bound to improve though, and with the way he connects to people during his promos, the push he's getting now should should continue long enough for him to have time to iron out the wrinkles in his game.

#2: Mr. Kennedy... Kennedy

Common, you really didn't think I'd compile this list without naming the guy whose name is so nice you gotta say it twice... did you? Nobody shoots a promo better than Mr. Kennedy does... NOBODY! This guy is bound to have a major role in the company's future. Of course, the only thing that could hold him back from becoming the superstar we all know he can be are injuries.

Thus far this man has been a star-crossed guy... some of it was brought on by himself - but the rest was just one freak thing or the other. His biggest push he ever received was the one where he became a thorn in William Regal's side (who was then a major heel GM... lights on/lights off anybody?). Unfortunately that rivalry that had oh-so-much potential was cut short due to Regal's drug suspension.

Kennedy's failed pushes aside, what I do know though is that although this guy is better as a heel than a face, he needs to stay a crowd favorite just as he was before his last injury. The WWE is full of heels anyways, and the last thing they need is yet another prime talent wasted as a heel. Do they not understand that the best way to put asses in the seats are to have your best talents in favor of the crowd? Ugh. Anyways, I've praised Mr. Kennedy long enough in this article... the other wrestlers on this list might get jealous or something, so I'll make up for it by not putting up a pic of Kennedy. Happy?

...

...

...

I budged. I couldn't resist. And I don't even care that this page now looks awkward with another picture right below Mr. Kennedy's.

#1: John Morrison

This guy has sneaky mega-potential... I feel like a ten-year-old for phrasing it like that, but there's really no other way to say it. Just take a look at him and TELL me he's not athletic. The man clearly knows what he's doing in the ring, and the scary thing is that he's barely scratched the surface.

Most people compare him to a young Shawn Michaels, and I cannot find a single hole in that argument. I mean, did you guys see him superkick Michaels a couple months back on RAW? It was eerie how similar he looked like HBK back in his heyday!

After all that, I haven't even addressed just how easily Morrison can get the crowd riled up one way or the other. Truth be told, pairing this lad up with The Miz for the first part of each other's young careers was genious. And even better is that, although we didn't notice, Morrison was far below average on the mic when he first started out. But once he got his "reps" in on the critically-acclaimed Dirt Sheet, you could practically graph Morrison's steady improvement. This guy is not just going to be a star... he's going to be a hall-of-famer (you read that right) as long as he stays on track.

* * * * *

If, by some miracle of God you actually like my work, feel free to visit my site http://wwerumorsandrants.blogspot.com/ and check some of my work there.

You can also reach me on Twitter at twitter.com/NeilBhatia.

I can also be reached on Facebook - my name there is also Neil Bhatia.

The Greenhorns of Grappling

2009-05-04T17:44:00.002-04:00

Are you guys enjoying the modern era of wrestling as much as I am? The new faces we've seen in the last week have all the websites and blogs abuzzing with excitement. It's been a while since the WWE has really pushed their ripe athletes to do significant things. Whether it was because the company didn't feel they were quite ready yet, or because their main-eventers didn't want to step aside to share the spotlight... it doesn't matter anymore. What DOES matter is that we're getting fresh talent interacting with some of our old favorites, and many people including myself have our happy tissues ready to go.

Whoops...

Was that too much information? Probably. But I truly have no other way to describe just how giddy I've become to my readers. I hope I didn't lose one of you three by grossing you out like that. Anyhow, below are #'s 10-6 of my top ten list of blue-chippers whose potential (I hate that "P" word by the way) the WWE hasn't yet tapped. The top five of this list will be published in the coming days...

#10: Evan Bourne

This kid has talent, but there is little else behind that. He lacks charisma and his character is very vanilla, but you can't deny that the little guy has a jaw-dropping set of moves. Bourne is the definition of in-ring entertainment, and even though he can't cut a promo to save his life, his high-flying antics deserve a push - even if it is just on ECW.

Some say he's the next Rey Mysterio. I, however, liken him to a mix of Mysterio and a young Jeff Hardy - he clearly has the ability to give us many "HOLY SHIT" moments in the coming years, but he's very Shelton Benjamin-esque on the mic. With time and opportunity that will likely change though.

#9: Kofi Kingston

Kofi Kingston already has a few notches on his belt: the Intercontinental and Tag-Team Championships. The thing is, Kingston hasn't had much of a chance, if any, to show us what he's made of promo-wise. Yes, he's had the occasional backstage interview, but all we got from those is that Kingston is a happy-go-lucky kind of guy... that about sums it up. He certainly has a plethora of moves to wow crowds, but will the WWE give him the opportunity to develop his character?

#8: The Miz

The Miz can be hit-or-miss at times. Back when he was paired up with John Morrison he could induce heat from the crowd in an instant. But like I said, that was back when he was Morrison's tag-team partner.

By himself, I can easily see The Miz either flourish or fail. We've seen some glimpses of success with him, but if you watched RAW like I did last week when he went on a John Cena-bashing tirade, the crowd didn't give a damn. I can't figure out if it was because The Miz was so bland or the crowd hated Cena, but I was shocked to say the least. Being on the mic is actually Miz's strength, whereas I thought it was his in-ring work that needed some help. I'm hoping that a few weeks from now we can all look back on that promo and chalk it up to an off night. One thing is for sure though - The Miz will certainly get more chances to bounce back... I mean he's a chick-magnet after all, right?

#7: Matt Hardy

As I've said in a column before, Matt Hardy's heel turn has been like wine for me: over time it's gotten better and better. His promos have been very impressive and his character has come along well.

But surprisingly I've found myself bored to death at times during his latest matches - something you don't usually expect from a Hardy brother. And with the reviews I read of Backlash that said his match with Jeff Hardy was also utterly disappointing, I'm not sure what to think of him now. He's very entertaining on the mic, but whatever is causing Hardy to stink up matches needs to go.

#6: THE Brian Kendrick

This guy has it all. He's great on the mic... as a matter of fact he's one of the best in the business (feel free to bash me on that one... that doesn't change the fact that it's true!). In the ring he's a more vicious version of a mix between Spike Dudley and Crash Holly - but more entertaining than that sounds.

Unfortunately he hasn't yet gotten the push he deserves. Whispers from behind the curtain suggest that his attitude has held him down from becoming a big-timer. Despite that though he's already been in a heavyweight title match, and if his attitude is the only thing holding him down I suspect he'll learn the ropes of the business soon enough and get himself in the good graces of team creative.

The OMGs, LOLs, and UGHs of the WWE

2009-05-02T17:57:00.008-04:00

Today I'll be breaking down the OMG's, LOL's, and UGH's in the WWE. My apologies for those three categories, but I wanted to do something different from "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" or "Yay or Neigh". You understand don't you?

OMG to the WWE's push of MVP. I have a nagging feeling that it's going to get cheesy with Sheri Shepherd worshiping the very ground MVP walks on, but I'm still happy nonetheless. This guy is great on the mic, has a good repertoire of moves in the ring, and continues to improve as time goes on. I'm sure we're in store for some good things from this man in the future.

LOL to Jeff Hardy getting another title match. I like the guy, but isn't his contract running out in a couple months? Couldn't his spot in that four-man battle royal gone to somebody who wants to be wrestling in six months - say, John Morrison, or even the Great Khali?

MEH to this fiasco that is the Santina Marella. I don't know why, but for some reason Vince McMahon is obsessed with midgets and cross-dressers. The run-in Santina and Hornswaggle had earlier this week must have wet our WWE Chairman's pants.

OMG at the tease of CM Punk cashing in the MiTB. I like the way we were given a taste of it, but then had it taken away at the last moment surprisingly by Umaga. I hope the new CM Punk-Umaga rivalry gives us a couple decent matches, similar to the way we got good matches from the Samoan's last significant rivalry with Jeff Hardy.

LOL at The Miz ragging on John Cena Monday night. Look, I'm always up for a good Cena-bashing rant or two, but The Miz could only fit in one decent zinger - something about saying how he couldn't see Cena since his movies weren't in theaters long enough - that was sandwiched between the crowd's indifference to him. The Miz is a very raw talent that I'm afraid isn't ready to tangle with the big dogs. I would've much rather seen this spot to Mr. Kennedy, who can cut great promos as a face or heel without breaking a sweat.

MEH at Vladimir Kozlov's ground-breaking announcement that he's not only better than everybody on ECW, but that he also looks forward to world domination. Hmmm... sounds familiar... who was the last guy to say the exact same thing over and over again just a couple months ago? Oh yea, it was Kozlov. This guy stands no chance at being entertaining one way or the other.

OMG at all three brands' heavyweight titles switching at Backlash. I didn't order the PPV myself, since I figured it would be crap. But hey, any PPV with Cena and Triple H losing the belts, not to mention Triple H getting taken out on a stretcher, is a good PPV in my book. Kudos to Randy Orton, Edge, and Cristian.

LOL at John Cena coming out after Batista won the #1 Contender spot. Was I supposed to be impressed by that? If he was strong enough to come out then, why couldn't he at least acknowledge The Miz earlier in the show?

MEH at the Superstars show. If the company barely gives a damn about this show and books mid-to-low-card talent, why should I?

Backlash Preview (Pt. Two)

2009-04-24T11:54:00.009-04:00

I'm miserable at the moment from pollen allergies, so I'll just give you my heavy-hitters of Backlash for now. Provided I get better, I'll have the rest of the matches previewed on Sunday.

Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy

Matt Hardy's heel turn has been like wine for me - it sucked right out of the gate (especially since we were all disappointed when Cristian wasn't in that chairshot spot), but it really has gotten better as time has passed. Couple that with murmurs of Jeff Hardy's contract expiring and how he's declined extensions, and it looks like the older brother will come out triumphant yet again. But if that's the way it goes I don't foresee this match being a memorable one since I doubt these two will do anything we haven't seen since Wrestlemania XXV. They've already had a match involving ladders, a stretcher, and they had yet another face-off in the ring this week on Smackdown. As you can see, too many in-ring clashes between these two already has me doubting their PPV match.

Edge vs. John Cena

This is being billed as the be-all-end-all match between these two... somehow I highly doubt that. Anyways, in spite of the rumors of Edge needing time off I don't think he will lose this match. First off, he just came back a couple months ago after that break following his long program with Undertaker... remember that fantastic beard he sported for those couple days?!? Secondly, John Cena taking the title back to RAW wouldn't make sense. Nothing would come of Cena holding the title - the potential feuds that could stem from Edge taking the title back to Smackdown would far outnumber the likely feuds we'd see with Cena.

Also, with the WWE recently saying that the draft will take effect after the upcoming Backlash, RAW would then have two titles should Cena win. And considering that the crowd is behind both him and HHH (even though it's obvious the crowd isn't into Cena as much as the WWE thinks) , it wouldn't make sense if the deservedly popular CM Punk - who solved the issue with two titles on one show last year - swooped in later on and picked up one of their titles again just for the sake of giving back a title to Smackdown.

Randy Orton/Ted Dibiase/Cody Rhodes vs. Triple H/Batista/Shane McMahon

The biggest bust of Wrestlemania XXV was by far the main event. The promos heading into that match were fantastic, and the anger HHH felt each and every time Orton tormented him leading into that main event was palpable. When Triple H "trapped" Cody Rhodes in a steel cage that one RAW, I was going nuts over how good this rivalry had gotten. Truth be told, despite that annoying grabass crap that was going on with HHH, Shane McMahon and Vince McMahon, this first-class feud had been so enjoyable that I found myself rooting for both the champion and the challenger. It's too bad these two had a train wreck of a match unworthy of all they hype it had.

The WWE surely saw their precious WM XXV main event crumble to pieces, and has done whatever damage control they could do since. In came Batista to give this rivalry a twist it sorely needed, and once again despite all the man hugs Batista, HHH, and Shane-O-Mac have apparently been dying to give each other, this rivalry has life once again. Certainly the WWE has set this up nicely should HHH not want to get "embarrassed" and drop the title himself to Orton, what with the champion and his buddies not being able to co-exist at times. But this bout, no matter which way it goes, probably will be the last band aid applied on the proverbial bullet-wound that was the WM XXV main event.

Backlash Preview (Pt. One)

2009-04-23T20:55:00.011-04:00

(Taker swoops in and saves the day)

Let's be honest... Wrestlemania XXV was saved by the Shawn Michaels-Undertaker match. Hell, even Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat gave us a memorable moment or two. But the PPV was lackluster all-around from the debachery that was the Divas Battle Royal, to the Money-In-the-Bank match which featured more lard than any of us cared for, to the main events that were shockingly disappointing. And ever since that pathetic attempt at a PPV, the WWE has gone back to cover the tracks of shit they left behind on April 5th. Rather than begin fresh new clashes in the new "season" after the annual draft, they've done their best to give us more notable matches to close the rivalries that were. I can't blame them to be honest... they heard us voice our distaste from the havoc in Houston, and responded by giving the most notable busts of Wrestlemania XXV, in essence, a do-over.

So how is the next PPV, Backlash, shaping up? Stay tuned for my match-by-match breakdown in the coming days.

Wrestling and Poker...

2009-04-21T20:28:00.019-04:00

I'm looking to slowly get away from writing about poker, a passion of mine that will likely make me broke one of these days, and shift into a full-time wrestling site (http://wwerumorsandrants.blogspot.com will be this site's new address). Creatively, I'm just burnt out with poker, and don't really have much to offer that genre since it has been extremely difficult to fit poker into my day-to-day schedule. It's really not a big deal though, as most of the stuff I wrote was more about my poker experience than anything theoretical, so certainly the poker community will barely notice the tiny hole I'm leaving behind.

Anyways, I don't know why I suddenly am focusing most of my creative energy into wrestling. Maybe it's that everything that lead into Wrestlemania XXV and the backlash afterward has got my creative juices flowing again, or maybe it's just that there is so much to analyze and discuss now in the universe that is the WWE. Whatever it is, it's caused me to make my mind up to specifically devote this page to wrestling. I won't necessarily delete my old posts - although as of this post my site has apparently been taken over by a silly search engine that I can only imagine will give my computer an STD if I use it (which has now been fixed) - because maybe I'll suddenly get the moxie to write about poker some time in the future and rant and rave about that once again. So if you were one to pay daily homage to one of my many Phil Ivey-slurping, Doyle Brunson-sputtering posts, have no fear... my posts will still be here. But new poker posts will be no more.

... for now that is...

What's With the Fatties?

2008-09-12T15:43:00.002-04:00

Dear WWE,

You’re better than this.

Tagging each and every overweight wrestler who comes into the ring as a “monster” or an “athletic beast” is getting old. The Umagas, the Manus, the JBLs, and the Snitskys need to go… ASAP. Only then will the crowd and your viewers stop laughing at these guys and stop bringing signs such as “I came to see JBL’s droopy boobies”. It’s time to start pushing only the wrestlers in the best shape as the heels rather than the thong-wearing fatties… you know, like you once did with Brock Lesnar, Rhyno, Triple H, and even Batista.

I mean, you already fired Big Daddy V for his ginormous man-boobs, so why not continue the trend?

Sincerely,

A person tired of all the flip-flopping… and not in the political sense

Your Time Is Up, My Time is Now...

2008-08-27T08:48:00.005-04:00

So John Cena, unfortunately, went out with another major injury, this time with a herniated disc, and I believe he underwent major surgery just yesterday... and for the record, I wasn't being sarcastic when I said "unfortunately".

Cena, although hated by half the fans, is still one of the top dogs in the WWE and is one of only a handful of wrestlers who receives SOME reaction from the fans as opposed to the diddly-squat reaction an alarmingly large percentage of the roster gets from crowds. I personally am on the fence with him, leaning a little more towards liking him, but most WWE fans above age 15 absolutely despise him. Why? Well, the haters say they hate him for a number of reasons: He has the same old moves, he says the same old things, he can't wrestle, etc.

I beg to differ. His repertoire of the "same old moves" and "same old one-liners" is actually comparable to the number of moves or one-liners any other wrestler has. Yes, Cena's may not be as flashy as those of the more popular wrestlers (like Jeff Hardy, Undertaker, Triple H), but is he supposed to be? His reputation is that of a straightforward, no-nonsense brawler, isn't it?

Anyways, back to what I wanted to get at... Cena, whether you like it or not, is pushed as a face. He sells things from the WWE Shop like few others can, and just because most of those items are for the younger fans doesn't change the fact that he moves merchandise. However, even as a semi-Cena fan, I agree that his time as a face is up. They've gone nowhere(I can't stress that enough) with his character since Wrestlemania, and although he's faced the likes of Triple H and Batista since then, each rivalry lasted one or two months tops, when really, those showdowns had 3-5 months of shelf life each. The only reason they didn't last longer was because two faces were going against each other, and a face vs. face showdown rarely can last more than two months in the business. So what does the WWE need to do to fix this problem?

Turn John Cena into a heel.

I know the WWE is probably hesitant to make such a drastic move, seeing that they make oodles of money off Cena-related merchandise. But if Cena turns heel, the company really will be better off in the long-run. There will be more opportunities for longer rivalries amongst him and other top wrestlers, a better chance to market Cena to the over-15 crowd (with whom, in his previous run as a heel, was popular with), and more tasty promos are all possible with just this simple switch. And besides, the last time the WWE took a chance (CM Punk), ratings went as high as they ever were in the last year, at least for a few weeks.

So what do you say WWE? Is Cena's time as a face up, and his time as a heel now?

(go ahead, roll your eyes)

WWE Summer Homeruns and Strikeouts

2008-08-14T07:40:00.001-04:00

WWE Homeruns

Pushing young talent to championship-level contenders
Edge’s soap opera-esque drama
Everything Santino Marella did
Batista vs. John Cena
Pushing Divas, Michelle McCool and Mickie James, to heights we haven’t seen since Trish and Lita
Unveiling an interesting option as RAW General Manager

WWE Strikeouts

Triple H vs. Khali (a bit WTF)
not allowing CM Punk to become a “legitimate” champion (just look at how he’s retained his championship every time)
Further tarnishing the once prestigious Intercontinental Championship by relegating it to low-card status (at least until very recently)
Pushing too many large, heel wrestlers as “monsters”
Not giving a damn about the ECW
On average, only allowing 32-37 minutes of wrestling per episode

Monday Night RAW Review 7/7/08: RAW of Average

2008-07-09T10:43:00.001-04:00

Heading into Monday night I was nothing but amped about RAW, as their previous two shows were nothing but a delight to watch. The draft, which aired two weeks ago, lived up to its hype because all the right wrestlers were moved to the right places (for the most part), and created some potential mouth-watering rivalries . Last week’s episode, unexpectedly, was even better than the draft, as CM Punk relieved Edge of his title in Edge-esque fashion by cashing in his MITB briefcase when the rated R superstar was down. So after bearing witness to two classic episodes back-to-back, why shouldn’t I have expected another excellent episode; one where we saw those exciting new rivalries unfold?

Because, apparently, nobody told me that WWE creative returned from their two-week vacation just in time to muck things up (I would’ve liked to use another word there beside “muck”, but since I’m writing this from the office, I found the closest possible word).

You see, all joking aside, the last two weeks weren’t a sign of things to come, as I proclaimed in my previous column where I said the WWE “was back”… sighhhh, how naive I can sometimes be. Those two weeks were just two weeks where creative overachieved… something they tend to do a couple times each year. Now, after two of the best shows we’d seen in all of ‘08, creative returned to their normal selves followed up with this for the most recent episode:

CM Punk vs. Snitsky…,…,… bwah?
A segment where John Cena spraypaints “JBL is Poopy” on JBL’s limo… ugh
Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas… CHARLIE HAAS?!?

First off, CM Punk vs. Snitsky came out of nowhere. They have had nothing to do with each other, and it should have stayed that way. Other viable opponents for Punk could’ve been Paul Burchill, Chuck Palumbo, Cody Rhodes, or even Ted DiBiase Jr… you know, somebody who has at least been in the ring these last couple of weeks. The Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas match was also confusing, out of the blue, and absolutely made no sense. But the segment of Cena spraypainting “JBL is Poopy” on JBL’s limo really took the shitty shitty carrot-cake. Bravo WWE creative, bravo; that was some of your finer work.

The only highlights of the night were the solid promo between Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels, Kane turning heel, and the pretty decent fatal 4-way main event that had JBL, Batista, John Cena, and Kane battle it out for the #1 contender spot (Speaking of which, the match was fun to watch, and I was glad to see Batista take the match home, as a Batista-CM Punk rivalry is something I’ve been hoping for since I saw them both get drafted to RAW) .

So there you have it-another night filled with WTF’s and ???’s. Expect the trend, for the most part, to continue. Expect the WWE to have Cena continue to make himself likable to children so that the WWE can keep churning out merchandise sales, but also expect Cena to ostracize himself from everybody else above the age of 10 aka the WWE’s TARGET FREAKING MARKET.

Expect Kofi Kingston to be placed in random, out-of-nowhere matches, and for the IC title’s once-prestigious reputation to continue to lose its luster.

Expect the WWE to rip CM Punk, the most likable, heavyweight championship-worthy wrestler to come along to RAW in a long time, away from the WWE Heavyweight Championship.

Basically, just expect nothing. That way, once WWE creative goes on another two-week vacation, we’ll be that much happier when something relevant, something fun, something that makes sense, happens. I know it’s a glass-half-empty view, but I’d be damned if it wasn’t the right one.

Like A... Vegan?

2008-07-07T10:08:00.003-04:00

I'm a man with a sick gambling history... the WNBA, the Scripps' National Spelling Bee, competitive video games with friends, etc... I thought I had reached the anti-pinnacle of Gambler's Anonymous.

But there I was, sitting with my family inside the Potomac Mills mega-mall food court, enjoying a SPECTACULAR plate of Teriyaki Chicken/Rice from one of the many little Asian food joints inside the mall. I turn to my brother and go on and on about how this plate of chicken may have been one of the best meals I've eaten all year. Then I said that, if this were the last time I ate chicken, it would've be worth it...

My brother turned to me and told me I couldn't even go for a month without eating meat, let alone a longer period of time. My response? None other than the classic, stupid competitive gambler inside me:

Care to make it interesting?

So here I am now, in the middle of one of the biggest bets of my life: No meat. No noodle meat broth. I'm not even able to order entrees and remove the meat. One entire year... well, now only 363 more days as I write this, until the next time I take a bite out of any once-living animal. $1600 is the cash I stand to gain, but more importantly, my ever-so-important elder-brother pride and willpower are on the line too.

My brother has already began tempting me by ordering some of the most delicious meat items he possibly can, then waving them in my face (aka karma for poking fun at my vegan-mother my entire life). He fully intends to make this next year a living hell for me. And you know what? I'd probably do the same if I was on the other side.

Will I make it? Probably not, but if I can do this, I can, literally, do nearly anything I want.

XHeadlines

2008-07-06T17:41:00.000-04:00

I was recently contacted by the webmaster of XHeadlines, a pretty popular wrestling site that not only keeps track of the latest rumors/news, but also has a few writers write up opinion columns for them. The guy asked me if I was interested in writing a column of my own for them-he had me at hello FYI-, and after emailing each other back-and-fourth regarding some questions I had, I was hired!

So now I'll be writing up some WWE-related opinion pieces for them here (check out my column, "Neil's Highlight Reel" if you'd like!) on a near-daily basis, but that does not mean I'll stop writing about the WWE here.

Atlantic City

2008-07-05T12:49:00.002-04:00

My my my, where are my manners? Heading into last weekend, I informed you guys that I was heading off to Atlantic City for the weekend with a friend, but I failed to give you guys the results. My apologies!

The first night was, well, interesting to say the least. My friend and I got there around 11pm, as traffic was god-awful the whole way through on I-95. The motel that I made last-minute reservations for didn't exist... it really didn't. I mean, I knew the place was far from the casinos, exactly eight miles away according to the site I booked the reservations through, but when Mapquest led us away from the bright lights down into a two-lane road with no discernible sign of man, street lights, nor street SIGNS, my friend and I started discussing whether or not we should find another place. It was at that point that we starting driving by random serial-killer-looking people who were walking down the street carrying bags of god-knows-what, and we decided to book it and get back to an area where there were at least witnesses lest we be killed.

Upon our return to the Atlantic City, we stopped by the Tropicana to sneak in a few hours of poker before searching for a new place to stay. After losing about a hundred after five hours of play, I told my friend it was time to look for a motel, one that wasn't in an area where we'd fear for our lives.

So there we were, driving around AC at 5 in the morning, looking for a place to stay. We didn't bring too much money with us, so we were looking for an $80/night place. Basically, we were cheap, homeless bums in pursuit of the cheapest, grimiest motel around. Unfortunately though, every place we stopped by not only was charging some absurd amount, but they were charging us said absurd amounts with the stipulation that we'd have to check out by 11am since, after all, the hotels had obviously conspired against us.

Anyways, about an hour into our search, we lucked into a $75/night place six miles away from the city (called Sunny Side Motel if you're curious). The area this place was located wasn't exactly a place you'd feel too safe staying, but then again, it wasn't like the psycho-infested area our other motel supposedly was around either. Luckily the room came with a mini-fridge on wheels, and right before we went to sleep, I pushed the fridge and a mini table up against the door so that I'd sleep comfortably.

We snoozed into the wee hours of the afternoon, and after a quick bite to eat, hit up the tables at Borgata. I proceeded to break exactly even after a four-hour session despite losing a $200 runner-runner, I-can't-believe-he-called-me-down kind of pot. We grabbed some dinner at the food court by the poker room, and after discussing some strategy, were ready to play another multi-hour session. Too bad my friend dropped most of what he had left over and asked if I was ready to leave, because I was ready to sit there well into the night (but of course I said yes to him).

So, overall, I lost a little bit, but nothing to complain about. I think that, besides two key hands where I wasn't aggressive enough, I played pretty optimal poker (I may go into further detail with those hands later). I was hoping to be back in AC the weekend of July 18th, a weekend my friends and I have planned on going for a while, but a cousin of mine, who is getting married on the 25th, is having some pre-wedding ceremonial crap that she guilt-tripped me into attending. I fucking hate weddings.

CM Punk Wins the Title plus a RAW review

2008-07-04T02:13:00.005-04:00

So good ol' JR made his way to the ring to open RAW. He got on the mic and said how much, over his years on RAW, he had enjoyed his time. He said he hoped the RAW fans would follow him over to Smackdown on Friday nights and enjoy listening to him and his new partner, Mick Foley. Edge's music then interrupted JR mid-sentence, and out he came along with the Edge-Heads.

Edge grabbed a mic and told JR that his arrogance never failed to amaze him, as he believed that nobody cared about JR leaving RAW. Edge said that JR could truly validate his Hall-of-Fame career by coming to Smackdown and calling a future Hall-of-Famer's (his own) matches. He said that, instead of the usual "Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!" phrase JR used to utter, he'd now be yelling "Edge Wins! Edge Wins! Edge Wins!" instead. He then asked JR to try it out right then, but JR refused and threw his mic down. Edge told his two sidekicks, Hawkins and Ryder, to escort JR out of the ring, and they did just that.

Once those three had left, Edge began speaking directly to the fans. He said that, now that JR was out of there, he had no reason to remain there. He poked fun at RAW by pointing out they had no General Manager, let alone a champion. This went on for just a little while longer, and he exited the ring.

As he exited holding up his Smackdown Heavyweight Championship Belt, Batista's music hit and out came the Animal, who was obviously angry the way Edge cheated him out of the title the night before at Night of Champions. He chased Edge and eventually caught him. The fans went crazy as Batista really layed into Edge with haymakers left and right. Batista then got Edge in the ring and Batista-bombed him.

Batista was making his exit up the ramp, and I was thinking that the segment was over, since it was already 9:20 and we had hit no commercial break... how wrong I was.

CM Punk's music then blared out the speakers, and he immediately made a bee-line for Edge with his MITB briefcase in hand, who was laying in the ring because of Batista's beat down. The crowd obviously sensed what was going on, and the crowd got even louder than before. Punk got in the ring, told a referee that he was cashing in his briefcase, and proceeded to give Edge his trademark finisher, the 'Go To Sleep'. Moments later, to the surprise of WWE fans across the world, there was CM Punk, holding the Smackdown championship up in the air as he stood on the turnbuckle. The crowd was in a frenzy, and at that moment, I realized the WWE was back.

After a Divas match, where Mickie James defeated Jillian Hall, Rey Mysterio came out the following segment to speak to the crowd. He said things were weird for him, because although he was excited to be on RAW, it was strange to be away from Smackdown, where his entire life and career unfolded.

Santino Marella, one of the best promo guys in the business, then came out and proceeded to diss Mysterio. Mysterio was about to respond, but Marella told him to shut his face. He continued and, after bringing up Mysterio's recent WWE magazine cover pic on the titantron, said that he didn't get what all the Mysterio hype was all about. Mocking Mysterio, he said "Look at me. I'm Mysterio. I'm more tall than Hornswaggle. I like cookies. BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA!" Marella said he wished he gave the WWE one of his own pictures to put on the magazine instead, and then, on the titantron, showed a picture of himself in just in underwear, holding a rose. He said that, if this was a poster, everybody in the world, even men, would buy it and put it up on their bedroom ceiling. Marella then got back on topic, and said Mysterio hadn't yet been on RAW because he didn't deserve to, as the show was used for true rising stars. He said that if Mysterio didn't mind his own business, he wouldn't have a good time here. (By the way, if it isn't coming across here, I should probably tell you that this was an excellent promo)

Mysterio was finally given the opportunity to speak, but he let his actions speak louder than his words. He took his mic and whacked it across Marella's head, then 619'ed him.

In the next segment, CM Punk was backstage with Tod Grisham, and his World Heavyweight Championship was draped over his shoulder. Grisham gave his congrats to Punk, and Punk said that he was speechless. He said he had so many people to thank, including Batista for that assist, and then said that he was feeling awesome. CM Punk's face then went a little sour, and once the camera zooms out, we see that it's because JBL was standing across him.

JBL gave a demeaning shrug, sort of like an "I can't believe you're the fucking champion" kinda shrug, and said Punk shouldn't be proud that he beat up a helpless person to win the title. Punk said that at least he was THE champion. JBL responded by saying that Punk could either go home, knowing his title win was nothing more than an asterisk, or he could prove himself against JBL in a title match. Punk asked JBL if he really wanted to "be the first one", and JBL responded yes. Punk said ok, and the match was on.

John Cena came out the next segment to a big cheer, and said that he couldn't believe JBL bullied his way into a title match. Cena then said that he liked Punk because he was a fighter, but he also believed that Punk would've said yes to anybody. He then openly asked Punk that, if he had the option to wrestle JBL or Cena, who would he choose?

JBL then came out, drawing some major heat from the crowd. JBL said that Cena wouldn't get the opportunity to fight Punk for the championship, because JBL was declaring Marshall Law that night. He said that he was going to become champion tonight, and he couldn't have Cena in the building to mess things up. Six big security guards came out, and JBL told them to remove Cena from the arena. After Cena put up whatever fight he could, JBL's security team dragged Cena out of the building.

Ted Debiase Jr. and Cody Rhodes, fresh off their betrayal of Hardcore Holly, had a squash match against some young tag-team duo whose names I can't remember. After the match, they said that, because of all the talent they had, they deserved whatever they wanted, and that they were, ugh, absolutely priceless. These guys may have all the talent they said they have, but they get, literally, no reaction from the crowd. It's a joke these guys are the tag-team champions, because nobody gives a fuck.

The next match of the night was Chris Jericho's rematch against Kofi Kingston for the Intercontinental Championship. Back-and-fourth the two went, each seemingly countering the other's moves. It all led to a sequence where Kofi first rolled up Y2J and pulled on his tights. The ref didn't see it, but Y2J kicked out anyways. Jericho then rolled Kingston up, and blatantly pulled on Kingston's tights to try and pin him illegally. Unfortunately for Y2J, the ref caught him and DQ'ed him for his actions, meaning that Kingston retained his Intercontinental title. Being the heel he was, he bitterly gauged at Kingston's eyes after the bell rung, and the crowd responded with some boos.

The main event, a title match between JBL and the champion CM Punk, was underway, with JBL's personal security team surrounding the ring. The two wrestlers exchanged blows to start out, JBL using his power and Punk using his trademark kicks, but JBL eventually seized control of the match with a headlock. Punk got out of the headlock with a crisp arm drag, and followed that up with a few leg kicks. He got JBL out of the ring and went for a baseball slide. He missed though, and JBL then hit Punk with an excellent clothesline. The action went back into the ring, and JBL locked up Punk in yet another headlock. He then threw Punk into the turnbuckle and charged at him, only to have Punk's boot connect with his face. Punk connected with his trademark knee in the face as JBL stood against the opposite turnbuckle, then clotheslined the challenger afterwards. JBL attempted to counter with a clotheline, but Punk dodged it and hit JBL with a kick to the head, then a flying clothesline after bouncing off the top rope.

Cena and Cryme Time then showed up on the ramp, and began to kick the crap out of JBL's security in an attempt to even the odds for Punk. JBL got distracted by the commotion outside of the ring, and when he turned around to face Punk, he got GTS'ed and that was that. Punk retained his title, and the crowd was going nuts.

Huh...

2008-07-03T19:37:00.001-04:00

So I'm balding... damn.

WWE 2008 Draft Results: RAW Gets a Raw Deal

2008-06-29T11:42:00.002-04:00

First, the results (italic selections are from the online supplemental draft held two days after the live draft on RAW):

Drafted to RAW:

CM Punk
Kane
Batista
Rey Mysterio
Michael Cole
Kofi Kingston
Layla
Matt Striker
Chuck Palumbo
Deuce
Jamie Noble

Drafted to Smackdown!:

Jeff Hardy
Jim Ross
Mr. Kennedy
Umaga
Triple H
Carlito
Shelton Benjamin
Maria
Brian Kendrick
D.H. Smith
Big Daddy V

Drafted to ECW:

Matt Hardy
Mark Henry
Finlay
Hornswaggle
Super Crazy

And now, the review...

Aside from the very first pick, the first couple selections didn't do much for me, as none of them were true shockers.

Batista going to RAW? Great, but also obvious. Jeff Hardy to Smackdown? Of course they were moving him there; they needed somebody the fans could connect with on that show to get it headed in the right direction again. CM Punk to RAW and Umaga to Smackdown, like the Batista selection, were also both pretty much stone-cold locks. But things got interesting afterwards...

Kane going to RAW was a BIG surprise since, after all, he is the ECW champion.

Good ol' JR trading seats with Michael Cole was another nice surprise. It didn't even look like JR, one veteran employee you'd think they'd inform beforehand about getting moved, knew about the selection. It didn't stop there though.

Mr. Kennedy, one of the "blue-chippers" of the WWE, got drafted to Smackdown. Not even five seconds later, Triple H was ALSO drafted to Smackdown.

So what does this mean for the WWE? Well, they are obviously putting a helluva effort into transforming Smackdown, the most disappointing of the three brands, into an equivalent, if not better brand than RAW. The timing isn't sheer coincidence either, as Smackdown is soon making the move to MyNetworkTV (a better network for their target audience).

But I'm starting to wonder if the WWE put too many eggs into Smackdown's basket and now left RAW with a raw deal (harty harrr harr)... My brother, who is just a big a fan of the WWE as I am, said he'd now just watch Smackdown, and never watch RAW again.

If you take a look at the changes, you can't really blame him. Three big-time fan favorites - including his favorite, Mr. Kennedy - are moving to Smackdown (Hardy, Kennedy, HHH), while only one mega-star is moving over to RAW (Batista). Rey Mysterio, another one of Raw's selections, is far too much of an injury-risk to consider the draft as having even been even close to equal for the two main brands, since he tends to spend more time on crutches than he does in the ring. And even if he does stay healthy, he can't possibly be in the picture for a heavyweight title the way HHH and Kennedy will be on Smackdown because of all the more-prominent wrestlers ahead of him. CM Punk, I will admit though, is a wrestler on the cusp of super-stardom, but even he is not quite over with the fans yet.

Besides what I now see as too much talent on Smackdown, I didn't have any other problems. I'm actually now craving the possibilities of the endless number of potential new rivalries: Batista-Cena, Edge-HHH, Edge-Jeff Hardy, Orton-Batista, Mysterio-CM Punk, CM Punk-Cena, Kennedy-HHH, Kennedy-Hardy, Kennedy-Edge, Batista-Y2J, Mysterio-Cena... I really could go on-and-on.

Hopefully the writers will pluck some showdowns out of that list and give us even more bang for our buck!

* * * * *

BTW, regarding the "accident" Vince McMahon has, I hope it turns into a whodunit situation. They better not eff it up though, and give us some lame ending the way they did the last time McMahon had a significant storyline (his son being Hornswaggle).

Till Monday...

2008-06-27T13:59:00.003-04:00

I'm (finally!) going to Atlantic City for the first time this summer. You guys have a good weekend.

Monday Night RAW Review-6/23/08

2008-06-26T09:56:00.002-04:00

Considering the RAW draft this past Monday was so hyped by both the WWE and yours truly, one would think that I'd have something to say about it in the day or two after it aired... right? Well, a review is coming, albeit late, but it is coming. Like I've said before, this month has been hella crazy, and it'll remain that way until July, the month I'll finally be free from the hell that is fiscal year-end closeout.

(BTW, how did my usage of the word "hella" in that last sentence sound? Did it read well? Or did I come off as a total douche? I'm having many internal debates with myself regarding whether or not I can pull that word off... I'm leaning towards not using it, but I thought I'd try it here and gauge the reaction.)

Anyways, sorry for that tangent... where were we? Oh yes, a lengthy review is coming, probably one that'll overshadow any other post I've had length-wise. After all, epic moments beget an epic post, and I'll get that done for you guys between now and the next RAW.

In the meantime, make sure you check out the new-and-improved Smackdown tomorrow evening. The show's new, fan-friendly roster makes it a lock that Smackdown will no longer be tagged as the "runner-up brand" that most fans have labeled it.

WWE Draft Predictions...

2008-06-23T12:09:00.004-04:00

The WWE is absolutely, positively desperate for ratings... they'll do anything to get more viewers, including giving away a million dollars a week to fans all over the country. To some degree, the giveaway has worked after an initial setback, as the ratings for last week's Monday Night RAW went up from 3.0 the previous week to a decent 3.3. Although they did get that bump, it wasn't the big bump they were looking for... which brings us to tonight's WWE draft.

Expect HUGE roster moves, because, as I mentioned a second ago, the WWE's ratings have slowly dipped as have their stock. Some of the following heavyweights, John Cena, Triple H, Randy Orton, Umaga, Batista, and Edge, could get moved from one WWE brand to the other. From that bunch, I'm predicting Batista, Umaga, and either Cena or Triple H will be moving, as they've all worn out their rivalries from their current brand.

I'm also expecting some prominent light-heavyweights, specifically the Jeff Hardys or the MVPs of the WWE, along with a few others, to be moved. Most of this type of lower-end heavyweight talent should be merged into one show, thus, helping each of them get a significant push towards the top.

I'd personally love to see most of the best tag-team talent moved onto one brand or the other. The tag-team titles have been stagnant since the Hardys, Team 3D, and the Edge/Cristian combos all broke up. Nowadays the tag-team champions draw little reaction from the crowd, so one step towards getting the WWE back on the map would be to merge each brand's tag-team championships into one title, then have all the talent follow wherever those belts will be featured. Back with the TLC matches!

Of what I've heard so far, only Triple H (surprise!), Shawn Michaels, and Batista have firmly opposed switching brands. Hopefully at least two of these guys put their own selfish insecurities aside and budge for the good of the company's future. Too many wrestlers these days are thinking short term, just like Vince McMahon, and they're cock-blocking the fans from getting to see some great new rivalries/talent.

All-in-all, the draft should be fun to watch. The million-dollar segments, however, won't. The WWE needs to get back to what it used to best, and that's cutting great promos (MVP/Mr. Kennedy come to mind) and putting together crowd-friendly, entertaining matches. If they can't get back to that long-forgotten formula, the WWE can kiss even their average TV ratings goodbye.

Good One...

2008-06-22T01:55:00.001-04:00

So I saw The Hulk just recently. The movie, as I expected, was JUST like Iron Man... superhero seemingly pwns the bad guys to start out, but then the bad guys come back with a bigger, badder version of the good guy, resulting in an epic clash towards the end. That's not a bad thing though, especially not if the cast fits the script (which, for the most part, happened in this movie). Anyways, I'm not here to give you a review of the movie, since the box office indicates that you've likely seen it anyways... I'm here to give you my "good one".

Two-thirds of the way through the movie, a character saw the destructive force Ed Norton could be for his first time. He commented, "You've got a little something in ya don't ya?" I instantly turned to my friend and said,

"That's what she said."

*Bowing* Thank you. Thank you.

2008-06-20T18:05:00.000-04:00

I think I need some help...

Wrestling and...?

2008-06-19T15:05:00.002-04:00

Yea, it's been eight posts since I've mentioned the word poker, let alone discussed it. So here we go, here is my poker-related blurb for the day:

One of my really good friends is in Vegas, and I'm as jealous as can be. Earlier today during my lunch break, him and I were talking about a drunk donkey he busted at one of his tables. Before I knew it, I was salivating all over myself. I was even so preoccupied with the drunk donkey topic that I spilled some of my drink on my white shirt and stained it. Derrrrrrrrp.

Just a few hours after having that conversation, I asked another friend of mine if he wanted to go to Atlantic City this weekend... you know... just because. He just gave me a maybe, as he may have to go somewhere else instead. But, I asked him, "Would you go with me if those plans didn't materialize?"

"Yes".

So, for now, the salivating has subsided. But at least all the drool from before wiped out that damn stain.

Monday Night RAW Review - 6/16/08

2008-06-17T21:49:00.000-04:00

You'll have to forgive me this week, but I won't be able to write my own Monday Night RAW review today. I'm crazy busy this month here at work, as my company's books close for this fiscal year come end of June. So instead of my usual RAW review, I've copied and pasted a RAW review from another site. From what I can tell, it's pretty solid... Enjoy!

Out comes John Cena to begin the show. Cena receives a large ovation as the opening wrestler. John is fired up for his time to talk. He speaks about the history of the wwe and the moments that have occurred in the past. Hulk Hogan slamming Andre the Giant, Shawn Michaels boyhood dream coming true, and Stonecold opening up his first can of whoop-ass. He states that at night of champions there will be another moment when one man stands tall in the center of the ring with his hand raised in victory and says THE CHAMP IS HEEEE…. Triple H’s music cuts him off before he finishes it. Behold the King…The king of kings. Triple H makes his way down the ramp. JR says by golly the wwe champion is here. Triple H tells Cena He is right it will be a moment no one will forget and he has been trying to tell himself it is not personal but is having trouble. Last week Cena cost him the match with Jeff hardy and he is laying out a warning and he won’t be warned twice. If Cena gets in HHH face and in his business it will get real personal real fast. Cena says wait a second you seem to have no trouble knocking me off the announcer table last week. HHH “First of all john no one said that you should stand on the table and act like a prima donna. I did you a favor because you are so uncoordinated you would have probably fallen off the damn thing anyway.” Cena, “ haha laugh at the big dumb animal but the last time you were in the ring with me I made you tap.” HHH,” That was two years ago John and a lot has changed.” Cena “ whoa whoa whoa nothing has changed two years ago everyone was talking about HHH and John Cena and here we are today still the main attraction in this business.” HHH, “NO something has changed and now I am the WWE Champion.” Cena, “ Even with that’ championship it still don’t mean a damn thing because until you beat me you don’t’ amount to anything Look at ya you walk around on your high horse calling yourself the measuring stick until you beat me you’re nothing.” HHH “ you know john it is going to be a long tough night for you that night cuz I know how you hate to disappoint your fans…but on the plus side not many of your fans will get to see that match because it will probably be on past their bedtimes anyway.” Just to make things easier for ya maybe we could get you a foam belt to wear around to ease the pain for ya a little bit.” Cena pushes HHH and takes off the shirt. HHH throws his shirt drops the belt and McMahon’s’ money money money theme hits. McMahon states the two of them they will not fight tonight they will fight at night of champions. He talks about the million dollars given away stating the password is…. watch raw and win. He tasks Cena if he will win his match tonight one on one with the Samoan bulldozer Umaga and it is a street fight. This match starts now.

John Cena vs. Umaga () Street fight)

JR introduces the Samoan bulldozer the three hundred and fifty pounder. They talk about the draft and who will be left on the raw roster.

Cena attacks right away but gets caught with an uppercut. Umaga counters the sunset flip to no avail. Cena takes Umaga up for the slam but Umaga falls across his chest. Cena rolls to the apron. Umaga charges and launches Cena off the apron into the guardrail as we go to a commercial.

I love the big show commercial for In Plain Sight. H e seems so real handing her that chair.

Back on raw the two are up the ramp in the3 street fight. Lots of rights and lefts and soup bones being thrown until Cena charges and gets hit with a Samoan drop on the Steele. (Looked like it hurt something awful) Umaga drags Cena back up the ramp by one arm. Umaga sits Cena against the ring post as he backs away..Oh no. Cena moves and Umaga goes back first into the ring post. Cena grabs a mic and we are back in the ring. Mic off the face of Umaga Cena comes off the top with a cross body and Umaga catches him with the spinning sambo slam. Umaga receives the first two count. Cena gets the boot up in the corner but runs out into a massive clothesline from Umaga. Umaga has dominated the match thus far. Cena gets a reversal but is easily met with another reversal from Umaga. Umaga grabs a Steele chair from ringside. Cena grabs the chair and a shot to umaga’s ribs and hits the flashback and the leg drop to the back of the head off the top. Cena looking FU but falls face first as his legs shake and buckle under the pressure. The damage was too much for Cena to hold Umaga long enough. Umaga takes Cena into the Steele steps and they almost fly in to the crowd haha that’s a great parting gift for a fan. Umaga rolls Cena into the ring and gets another two count. Jr speaks of Cena perseverance. Umaga chunks the Steele steps into the ring. Umaga has the steps up high but Cena catches Umaga with the FU!!! Into the three count. I don’t’ remember the last match that Umaga actually won. I hope he gets traded to smackdown where he can actually win sometimes. I also hope that he learns a language soon.

McMahon is out and is picking the first winner. JR says blame it on the river referring to salt LAKE haha. The first guy is Denzel or D oh my goodness says Dee gets the right password and says his favorite animal is a dog. Dee’s impression of a dog is terrible it sounded like he was sneezing but he won 125,000 dollars wow. I was hoping my phone would ring.

Vince introduces summertime bikini blowout.

Bikini blowout

Maria out followed by Eve Torres and a commercial

A draft commercial is shown and I think JR is right about the announcers being included in the draft. That’s is just plain silly

Back on Raw the ladies are in the ring with Charlie Haas. They show the recap of last Monday and I don’t understand why Charlie Haas is not a fan of kissing divas. Haas is talking about something I didn’t know that he still worked for them until last week. I guess Mcing the bikini contest is better than not being on raw. The first contestant is Melina…they each get 15 seconds to dance. Melina does a pretty good job I guess. Maryse is up next to dance. Lena Yada is out and has a white bikini and king wants to wear Lena’s bikini.. Layla is out and dances it up . Jillian is next and stops the music to sing a song…. Haas cuts her off and moves to Eve and last is Maria. The winner is too many contestants to tell who is getting the best until Maria who gets more airtime as a face so of course she wins. Jillian had the most heat. Eve slapped Maria on the rear as she celebrated.

McMahon calls someone else. I wonder if Mr. McMahon is thinking of taking ed mcmahon’s job. Mike answers has the password for 100,000. Vince asks whom the most handsome and well-known individual ever born in NC was? Mike answers Ric Flair. Vince says No. I guess he is from North Carolina. Jr confirms my thought because he knows all.

Back on Raw Jericho is backstage talking to some lady. They show a recap of last Monday’s highlight reel. Jericho and Shawn will have a fantastic match when it comes down to it. Jericho dominated Shawn with that Jeritron and the recap footage was awesome. Jericho will speak tonight.

McMahon is choosing another winner with a very special individual…Hacksaw Jim Duggan in a tux and his 2X4 is in a tux. USA chants started by Duggan. Hacksaw doesn’t know how to use a phone haha. HO!!!!!! No one answered McMahon Leaves a message telling him he had a chance to win 50,000.Thhisy ritoe is Degeneration X. aweoom. Jesse answers and knows the password. 50,00 richer. Jesse is hardcore DX and imitates Duggan with the HO!!.

Jeff hardy makes his way to the ring. Coming off of a big win over HHH last week lets see how he holds up tonight.

Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

The two lock up to start things off and a cheap shot from Carlito to receive the first upper hand. Carlito goes for the second rope slingshot moonsault and lands on his feet after missing hardy. Hardy tosses Carlito over the top and slingshots crossbody over the top to the floor. Hardy is caught on the apron on the way in and is hung on the top rope and Carlito hits a swinging neck breaker. Good spot. Carlito with a drop kick and gets a two count. Carlito still in control and applies a chin lock. The crowd is behind hardy as he tries to elbow out. Carlito pulls the hair to stop the reversal and hits several southpaw punches to the head of hardy followed by a running reverse elbow. Now Carlito has hardy in a surfboard submission. Hardy feeling the crowd and gets a boot to hardy with the reverse mule kick and goes for the big seated dropkick in the corner but Carlito dodges. Hardy crashes and Carlito gets a two count. Hardy hits the seated Jawbreaker. But Carlito gets the upper hand with a tree of woe he goes for a dropkick but hardy raises Carlito barely misses crotching the ring post and gives a hail Mary for good measure to thank his lucky stars. Good improve for Carlito. Hardy up top hits the whisper in the wind for a two count. Front face suplex from hardy and up top for the Swanton bomb. Carlito up and goes back stabber but gets caught with the twist of fate and hits the Swanton bomb for the three count.

Excellent match from these two Carlito does so well to not ever win. He should start a tag team with Umaga.

McMahon money time. The call is placed Kyle answers the phone. Kyle gets the password. Kyle has to sing part of the national anthem terribly I would have actually requested Jillian. 175000 dollars.

Y2J makes his way to the ring He has some splaining to do. Over the last week Jericho says he has noticed the way people are looking at him differently and asking how could you do that to Shawn Michaels. Recap shown again of Y2J last week. Jericho states it is Déjà Voo as the crowd boos an honest man. Jericho says it wasn’t his fault (my god this isn’t Jericho it’s Snitsky!). Jericho says that the people don’t’ deserve to be saved because they connect with a backstabbing hypocrite like Michaels. Jericho is here to save himself from every one of us. He goes on to bring down the crowd and states he doesn’t need or want cheers anymore. Some big girl in a cowboy hat bo0os and thumb downs Jericho. It was pretty funny she had on a cowboy hat haha. Jericho says Michael’s blood is in our hands. Jericho calls Shawn Michaels out right now. The crowd chants HBK. Shawn isn’t coming out tonight because he is a coward, worm, liar, and a miserable excuse…..WOOOOOO Natch is BACK styling and profiling. My god!! JR just wet himself!!

Commercial

Flair and Jericho are in the ring nose to nose. Flair asks what Jericho has to say now. Flair tells Jericho to shut up. Flair says he can’t wrestle anymore but challenges Jericho to a fight in the parking lot right now. Drops the elbow on the coat and leaves the ring telling Jericho to come on (you can tell when Flair means business because he punishes his wardrobe). Jericho follows flair out the back. We lost the duo with the cameras. Flair says outside you and me outside right now Jericho follows and runs into the game outside the door. HHH says don’t you think you've caused enough problems ever since you have come back to save us Chris I’ve been looking for a reason to make you my business. Jericho says now you got to fight everyone’s battles for them. HHH says I’m not fighting anyone’s battles I just want to fight Chris Jericho.

Commercial

Flair and HHH are in the back. Flair is talking to McMahon as they shake hands. Vince tells flair that he cannot have him in the building interrupting the show. HHH gives flair a hug as he is escorted out of the building. HHH asks Vince what his problem is. Vince says he has none but HHH does he is going one on one tonight with Chris Jericho.

Holly and Rhodes are in the ring and out come Crime Time.

Holly and Rhodes vs. Crime Time

TD makes his way to the ring and distracts crime time as holly gets the rollup for the three count. Quickest match ever. I’m sure the return of Michael PS I’m a racist Hayes had nothing to do with this booking.

McMoney time again Becky answers the phone in honor of Flair he is giving her 16 dollars poor girl. That’s what you get for being from North Carolina.

Commercial

Recap of Burchill and Kennedy match from last week.

Burchill and Katie are in the ring and out comes Mickie James the women’s champion. Kennedy! Kennedy is going to be huge he Is more popular by the day and becomes a better wrestler minute by minute.

Mr. Kennedy and Mickie James vs. Paul Burchill and Katie Lee

Burchill and Kennedy start by locking up the rights come immediately. Burchill works Kennedy with clotheslines and uppercuts but is caught with a back body drop. Kennedy has Burchill in the corner and the ref has to push him out. Burchill receives the upper hand and puts Kennedy in a cross face chicken wing. Kennedy attempts to fight out but is leveled with a powerful clothesline for a two count. Back into the submission cross face chicken wing. Both girls are cheering their man on. Kennedy begins to fight out until he catches a knee to the temple. Irish whip into the corner and Kennedy gets two boots up and catches Burchill with the big boot kick as Paul is leaned on the ropes. Katie tags herself in and Mickie comes in with a slap The two girls roll around exchanging punches and Mickie finally gets the upper hand with a couple of clotheslines and forearms and the Irish whip is reversed into the neck breaker and Mickie connects with a dropkick to the face for a two count. James heads up top as Paul makes his way towards her. Kennedy comes flying across the ring and hits a spear through the ropes as both men fly out of the ring. Very impressive move. Mickie comes off the top but Katie moves and hits a neck breaker into a backbreaker for the three count.

McMoney time again. Elaina answers the phone and knows the password. She does not stop talking at all. McMahon asks of all the superstars who is the most handsome man she answers with Mr. McMahon 174,984 for Alana.

McMoney once again we are calling someone up and it isn’t me because my phone is ringing. Jr is whispering the password hahahaha. Peter answers. He knows the password and becomes 75000. JR and king are running down Night of Champions

Miz and Morrison against Finlay and Hornswaggle tag gold

Edge vs. Batista Heavyweight champion

Kane vs. Big Show ECW Title

HHH vs. John Cena WWE Title

King just informed that McMahon would give away 300,00000 tonight

Cena tells HHH good luck don’t get hurt.

Champion vs. Champion after the break

McMoney time again! Yowsa
McMahons giving money away again next week. Number dialed and Frank answers he knows the password 30,000

HHH vs. Y2J

The Game vs. The Living Legend

The Cerebral Assassin vs. The Ayatollah of Rock N Rollah

The King of Kings vs. The Sexy Beast

Hunter Hurst Helmsley vs. Chris Jericho

The WWE Champion vs. The Intercontinental Champion

Ladies and Gentlemen business is about to pick up.
The ref lays out the rules and rings the bell. Lock up into a side headlock and a big running shoulder block by the game. Jericho is holding his head. Jericho sucks chants fill the arena. Jericho takes the upper hand in the corner with boots and rights and lefts and the ref has to force Jericho out. The game comes back with rights inn the corner for Jericho. Jericho face first into the turnbuckle and is Irish whipped into a back body drop. Jericho comes back with more rights and an Irish whip to the ring post as we go to commercial.

Jericho comes back with a reverse elbow to stop the game as we come back. During the break Jericho hit an enziguri to receive the upper hand. Jericho attacks the game outside using the Steele steps to his advantage. Jericho slaps the back of H’s head telling him to come on. They head back into the ring as the match continues the Game regains the upper hand. Lance Cade enters the ring to attack HHH (talk about a curveball). Jericho is disqualified for his interference as the two begin to pummel the game. Cena runs out to try and make the save for the game. Cena tries to overcome but is out numbered two on one. As the two continue the beating Cade hits the Cade bomb on Cena while Y2J delivers the code breaker to HHH. The evil duo stand tall over the fallen heroes as Raw goes off the air. (I am guessing that next week John Cena and Triple H team to take on the new duo of Jericho and Cade can Cena and H overcome their differences for one night to focus on the task at hand or will Cade and Jericho be able to capitalize on the two giant egos not being able to coexist.)

See you next week for the Draft!!!
Its time to shake things up.

Music

2008-06-16T11:28:00.003-04:00

After ordering a 160gb IPod off of Full Tilt Poker with my Full Tilt points, I've been looking to pick up some new music to give a listen to after getting tired of my current collection (which mostly consisted of rap, r&b, and VERY mainstream rock).

So I asked a friend to turn me onto a few bands, and he gave me the following list:

- Pink Floyd
- The Cardigans
- Black Sabbath
- Nirvana
- some other band I can't remember at the moment

Ended up loving two of those bands: The Cardigans and Nirvana. One of those bands, Nirvana, turned me onto Pearl Jam, who's music I also really like. And so began my love affair with oldish, not-as-mainstream rock.

I look forward to discovering new bands that I'm sure you've heard of, but I haven't. Now I won't give you one of those lame, here's-what's-on-my-IPod posts, but I will probably bring up some bands I enjoy listening to in the near future.

PS - the following links have been my favorite tracks thusfar through my musical "journey":

http://youtube.com/watch?v=SK7Ai9dWrRQ

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KCgFYz7VX74

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BXISm3JjYU0&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sUUHNf0S5cA&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=rg-yYi8saZY&feature=related

Father's Day

2008-06-15T11:25:00.000-04:00

Happy Father's Day to all of you who are lucky enough to have your old man around, and also to those who are lucky enough to have children of your own.

Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan

2008-06-13T13:51:00.004-04:00

BTW, did ya Kobe-lovers happen to catch the game last night? Did ya? Did ya?

Kobe is not even close to Jordan after seeing yesterday's debacle... and no, I'm not being biased just because I'm a Bulls fan. In fact, I'm a huge Kobe lover, and I agree that he is by far the best player on the planet right now... but the Jordan comparisons need. to. stop!

Million Dollar Bust

2008-06-11T12:55:00.001-04:00

On RAW earlier this week, Vince McMahon's Million Dollar Mania didn't draw the ratings the WWE expected. In fact, the ratings had FALLEN from the previous episode of RAW. The segments for this giveaway where Vince called the eventual winners were not entertaining, and I even read that people at the stadium chanted "BORRRRRRING!" a few times (one of those chants were actually heard on TV).

It is now rumored that, although Vince will give away another million dollars at this week's RAW, he is unlikely to continue afterwards because of the lackluster ratings.

As for the rest of the show:

Mr. Kennedy defeated Paul Burchill in the opening match. The fight was pretty crisp, and the ending was, ummm, crispier (???) when Mr. Kennedy "Mic Checked" Burchill. After the match, Burchill cheap-shotted Kennedy.

I don't know what to say about this story line. The writers really got screwed when Regal was busted for some kind of positive drug test, as Regal and the disdain the fans had for him would have been able to put Kennedy over during their rivalry as one of the top faces in the industry. Now they're lost with their star-in-the-making, as even THEY don't know what's happening and who is going where at the WWE Draft in two weeks. Hopefully the Burchill-Kennedy feud will be short-lived.

JBL and John Cena, yet again, got it on in the ring. The crowd was very pro-Cena, a rarity these days, and Cena finished the match with a win after stringing together a few signature moves.

I have nothing to say regarding these two clashing again. The announcers tried to bill it like some kind of pay-per-view-worthy, battle of the titans-esque match, but it really was a snoozer of a match till the end. My thoughts: these guys both need to go to Smackdown come draft day for new competition.

Chris Jericho, hosting another "episode" of his talk show "The Highlight Reel", finally managed to turn heel after two months of 'Is He-Isn't He?' crap. He first kicked Shawn Michaels in the nuts while interviewing him in the ring. Jericho then smashed Michaels' face into the TV to end the segment, and I have read that Michaels seriously hurt his eye during that stunt.

I'm legitimately excited for potential fights between these two, as they are both among the most entertaining wrestlers in the WWE. Should be a helluva rivalry.

Umaga and Snitsky defeated Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes. The only thing I feel I need to chime in about is that Holly/Rhodes don't seem to get a big enough pop when they come out. I think people are getting bored with them, and I bet we soon see them drop their titles to Ted DeBiase Jr. and whoever that guy chooses as his partner.

Santino Morella and Carlito defeated Cryme Tyme. No comment... not worth it.

... And finally, the main event of the night: Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy. Triple H often had the upper-hand in the match, but occasionally Hardy fought back and countered with some of his own signature stuff. The intense fight continued outside of the ring. Hardy eventually helped himself up, got in the ring, and beat the 10-count of the ref. Triple H, however, didn't get in the ring on time, as John Cena, Triple H's opponent at the next PPV, pulled him back right as he was going to get back in the ring. Hardy, thus, picked up the win, and he then went over the top rope and took down both Triple H and Cena as they got in each others' faces. All-in-all, a very entertaining main event!

* * * * *

The show, for the most part, wasn't bad. A new rivalry emerged between Michaels and Jericho, while Triple H and Cena tossed more fuel on their flames. Jeff Hardy even notched himself a big main event win, and hopefully that's just the first of many.

Other than those guys, the writers are wisely waiting out the results for the draft, for if they took any big chances now, it could all be erased with one selection on June 23rd. Aside from the paragraph above, I expect everything else to be pretty stale. But, and that's a big but, when the draft happens, expect mayhem to ensue. The WWE is desparate for ratings, and they will probably take some big chances to get them.

Vince McMahon's Million Dollar Mania

2008-06-09T11:37:00.002-04:00

It's not a gimmick, nor a hoax. It really is exactly what Vince McMahon says it is... he's giving away the sum of a million dollars a week each week on RAW.

Yes, he's doing it all for the sake of ratings. And yes, he'll probably make more back with the increased traffic on WWE.com, let alone the increased ratings he'll likely get tonight, but don't you want your chance anyways at a piece of that pie... or as The Rock would call it... poon-tang pie? Hey, I know it's a long shot, but it's a FREE long shot at the money he'll be giving away, and I'll take a free long shot any day!

Good luck to you if you're registered.

On a Roll

2008-06-05T08:31:00.002-04:00

Been playing a lot of poker lately... well, not yesterday though, as my power went out thanks to the storms that raged through the DC-Maryland-VA area yesterday. But yea, I've played some live games, both cash and tournament, and some online cash games and SNGs too.

Not going to go into too much detail since I know most people hate reading about detailed results (I know I do), but I've won, roughly, $350 in my last four sessions. I even survived and profited off one of those sessions where all I could come up with was the second-best hand.

So ideally, that trip to Atlantic City my friends and I had scheduled for this weekend would have been perfect for me because of all the momentum I've picked up over the last few sessions. Too bad we couldn't find a room available at the Showboat Casino for the discounted rate my friend had. I tried convincing my friends to book one of those cheap motels a mile away from AC, but no dice. We haven't decided on when we'll try again, but it better be soon dammit... the roll I'm on (knock on wood) can only last so long!

No Monday Night RAW review for 6/02/08

2008-06-03T08:58:00.000-04:00

Sorry, but there will be no review for this week's episode of Monday Night RAW. I will, however, fire out a few thoughts:

- Register at WWE.com to win some money during the McMahon Million Dollar Giveaway! Give McMahon the ratings he so desperately craves!

- Randy Orton's broken collarbone is probably going to bring down the quality of RAW. This guy is one of the better heels the WWE has had in a loooooong time.

- The Triple H vs. John Cena feud should be a good month-long rivalry until the June 23rd draft brings some fresh faces to the show.

- I have a feeling that some of the prominent lighter heavyweights (Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy, Shelton Benjamin) are going to get draft to Smackdown so that they all get some title pushes.

- Don't know where they are going with the Undertaker's forced retirement angle, but it'll be interesting to see when and where he returns.

My Favorite Birthday Present...

2008-05-30T13:39:00.002-04:00

My favorite two-day-late birthday present every year, The World Series of Poker, begins today. Ugh, It's killing me that I can't be in Vegas right now.

I Think I Need Help...

2008-05-29T13:45:00.002-04:00

I just placed five bets on the Scripps' National Spelling Bee with an equally sick friend:

1. Over/under 8.5 letters in the winning word: I took the under.
2. The gender of the winner: I took male with 3:2 odds.
3. Whether the winning child's home town is east or west of the Mississippi River: I took east.
4. Over/under 19 letters in the winning child's hometown + home state (with spaces not counting). I took the over.
5. What letter the winning word begins with: I took the letters 'A' through 'M'.

I don't know what's worse... the fact that I actually agreed to place a bet on the spelling bee, or the fact that my friend and I were able to come up with five things from the spelling bee to bet on.

Anybody have the number for Gambler's Anonymous?

Too Good to be True?

2008-05-29T08:33:00.002-04:00

So a friend called me yesterday with an opportunity I thought I'd mention. He told me about this chick who, for a few days now, has been bugging him about attending one of her company's 90-minute presentations... you know, one of those presentations where they try to sell you something, and, supposedly, just in exchange for listening to the sales pitch you get a three-day vacation package?

Well, this company was offering packages to three different cities: Orlando, Los Angeles, and Las Vegas. My friend said, as soon as he heard this offer, he told that saleswoman that he wouldn't go to the presentation unless he could bring a friend (me). So now my friend and I are gearing up to go to the presentation this Saturday, naively (I can't stress that word enough) hoping there isn't any kind of catch to the offer that stops us from going. And even so, if it doesn't work out, I'll still be in Atlantic City next weekend with some friends, so I'll still get my live gambling fix one way or another.

Another Birthday Goes By...

2008-05-28T04:40:00.003-04:00

Yet another birthday goes by, and I'm not any closer to figuring out where I'm going than I was my last birthday. At the moment, I'm two years behind schedule to graduate from George Mason University, and seeing all my friends graduate this year has left me feeling a little envious. I probably sound like a petulant child now, essentially saying things like "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up" and "I envy my friends", but it's all true.

Anyways, I'm not doing anything special today... just going to have a quiet dinner with my brother and mom, but that's all I really need every May 28th.

Hope all you guys enjoyed the long weekend.

Monday Night Raw Results - 5/26/08

2008-05-27T04:15:00.004-04:00

Vince McMahon came on the screen after a short tribute dedicating the episode of RAW to our country's troops. McMahon described how he wanted to do something for all the WWE fans. He said they needed to be appreciated, and he said that he would, later in the evening, come up with something for the fans that had never been done before. He then said he'd even ask for some suggestions from the RAW wrestlers throughout the night.

After the promo, Todd Grisham, RAW's primary backstage interviewer, was standing in the ring in front of a podium, ready to conduct a face-off interview between Triple H and Randy Orton. He asked Orton why he thought he could beat Triple H in a Last Man Standing Match considering Orton barely beat him last time in the same match-type after only wrestling two matches before that match while Triple H had to fight three. Orton defended himself and said that, despite his seven-month reign of dominance, everybody downplayed his wins and laughed at him. He said that he'd put an end to that this Sunday at One Night Stand.

Triple H retorted by saying that the reason people laughed at him was because he was an ass. He told Orton that, although Orton talked a big game, his insecurities with himself were obvious.

Orton came back and said that, of all people, Triple H was the insecure one, as Triple H was the one who made a career off of making people a threat or getting close to them. Orton then said that it was no mistake that Triple H's closest friend, Shawn Michaels, was his friend to begin with because he was a threat to him. He also brought up the stable known as Evolution, and how soon Triple H destroyed it when it became a threat to him.

Triple H interrupted him and said that, when it came to the WWE title, every man was for himself, and the king of the jungle wouldn't be thrown out until a bigger, badder lion came and got him.

Orton made some cheesy remark and said that the lion was coming on Sunday.

Jillian Hall took on Melina in a match. Before the match, Hall SUNG that Melina had no chance of beating Beth Phoenix on Sunday. Melina forced Hall to submit within five minutes and picked up the win. Only thing I have to add is that both ladies were looking fine!

Chris Jericho was seen backstage with Vince McMahon. Jericho suggested that the fans deserved to see him and Shawn Michaels in a match that night... Vince agreed. Y2J also recommended that McMahon, in the spirit of fan appreciation, should twist his "No Chance" theme music with some metal rock or scat. Cryme Time showed up in the office and started grabbing portraits of former RAW GM William Regal off the wall to auction them off (which they did during commercials).

Following the commercial break, Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes put their tag-team titles on the line against the quick duo Paul London and Brian Kendrick. The young Rhodes went back-and-fourth with London as they exchanged headlock reversals. London tagged in Kendrick, who drop-kicked Rhodes to the ground. After exchanging some blows, Holly came in and dismantled Kendrick with some hard grapple moves.

Kendrick attempted to get something going, but Holly thwarted his momentum with a "Holly lariat". Rhodes tagged back in and tried to finish Kendrick off, but Kendrick went for his finisher "Sliced Bread #2". Rhodes got away from it, and tagged Holly back in.

All four men started to brawl in the ring, and Kendrick and Rhodes took their battle outside the ring. Holly "Alabama Slammed" London, and the match was over. Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes successfully defended their tag team championships.

As soon as the tag-team partners began celebrating, Ted DiBiase came out to the ramp. He got on the mic and said that last week he and Vince McMahon agreed to get DiBiase's son on the RAW roster. Ted DiBiase Jr. came out and got on the mic, putting Holly and Rhodes on notice for their tag-team gold. DiBiase Jr. took it to the cheesy extreme when he said everybody had a price but him... because he was priceless. Ugh.

After the commercial break, a funny training video of Cousin Sal and Roddy Piper was aired.

Afterwards, Mickie James is seen with McMahon backstage. She made some suggestions when JBL rudely interrupted her. He suggested to Vince the idea of selling pieces of the ring containing John Cena's blood after this Sunday. JBL then mocked James and her ideas with some suggestive comments about her and Cena and bodily fluids.

Returning from commercial break, a much-hyped tag-team match (which, frankly, didn't really deliver) between John Cena/Jeff Hardy and Umaga/JBL took place. Umaga and Cena got things going early, as Cena first failed on an "F-U" attempt, then Umaga missed a splash in the corner. As he got up, Umaga caught Cena mid-cross body jump, and slammed Cena to the ground similar to the way he slammed Hardy outside of the ring last week. If you haven't seen it, the only way I can describe it is as a "spinning sidewalk slam".

Anyways, Hardy got tagged in, and Umaga beat on him a little and, this time, hit a splash on Hardy. Umaga tagged JBL in, and JBL went to work on Hardy's mid section with an abdominal stretch. Hardy escaped, but JBL connected with a big boot. JBL picked Hardy up and threw Hardy into the corner. However, Hardy used the momentum from JBL's throw to execute a "Whisper in the Wind".

Hardy tagged Cena in, who proceeded to dominate JBL and Umaga with an assortment of clotheslines, hard punches, etc. Cena went for the "Five-Knuckle Shuffle", but was taken out mid-step. Hardy tagged himself in and went for the Swanton bomb on JBL. JBL, though, got out of the way, and hit Hardy with a "Clothesline From Hell". That was all she wrote, as JBL pinned Hardy 1-2-3.

Following the commercial break, Mr. Kennedy (aka the future of the WWE) came out and got on his mic. He said that we were looking at the man who got rid of the "pompous piece of garbage" William Regal. Carlito then came out, ready to fight Mr. Kennedy in a regular match.

Carlito went after it and attacked Kennedy's back, but Kennedy countered one of his moves and nearly executed a "Mic Check". He missed, however, and Carlito got Mr. Kennedy in the corner. Carlito got Kennedy in a submission hold, but Kennedy reversed the whole thing and got Carlito back with a "Green Bay Plunge".

Carlito went for his signature "Back-Stabber", but Kennedy reversed and, this time, executed his Mic Check (which by far garnered more fan support than the Green Bay Plunge from earlier) and pinned him.

Katie Lea suddenly came down the ring, telling Mr. Kennedy that he made a big mistake getting Regal fired. Paul Birchill, Lea's brother, then snuck up behind Kennedy and beat him to a pulp. Birchill again drove the point home, telling Kennedy that mistakes have repercussions.

Chris Jericho aka Y2J was scheduled to have the last match of the night against Shawn Michaels. Jericho gambled early, as he went for a springboard kick but missed. However, he recovered, and managed to get Michaels in a chin lock. Michaels broke out of it, but was unable to escape Jericho's blows, as he took a beating in his midsection.

Jericho gambled yet again and went for a bulldog, but Michaels escaped, and hit an inverted atomic drop followed by a flying forearm off the ropes. Jericho then attempted to get Michaels into a "Walls of Jericho", but Michaels reversed that into a possum pin, only to have Y2J kick out after two counts. Jericho missed yet another move, but this time Michaels missed one right after, failing to connect on a flying elbow.

The fight spilled outside of the ring, and both men beat each other up so badly that both men were counted out. Jericho lost it and nearly hit Michaels with a steel chair after the match was declared over, but his sense finally overcame his emotion, and he walked off looking disappointed in himself.

Now was time for the big announcement!

Coming back from the last commercial break, all members of the RAW roster could be seen standing on the ramp. Out came Vince McMahon, and he had two announcements for us:

A WWE draft would be taking place in a month.
Starting next week, he'd give out money in the sum of a million dollars to fans.

McMahon said he didn't yet have the logistics of the money-giveaway, but this was essentially it. He said there were no tricks, no hoaxes... nothing. This money would legitimately come out of his bank account, and the money would be given away every week.

As far as the WWE goes, things will get MUCH more interesting once this draft happens, and hopefully some fresh new rivalries emerge and erase the current boring, played-out rivalries that have carried over from month-to-month.

As far as the money giveaway goes, well, some online sources indicates it'll be a million bucks given away EACH week, while other sites say that the total money given away during the entire gimmick will be the SUM of a million dollars. Either way, it's not a bad thing for us fans! Hopefully I'll score some of that cash for myself when I go to RAW July 28th!

Traffic...

2008-05-23T13:21:00.002-04:00

This site's traffic is peanuts compared to some other sites. Then again, I've only been back in "the game" for two months, and 75-100 hits per day is actually damn good for a rookie. But guess what those people who come to my site are looking for?

Is it poker content? No.

KGBlovesOreos-related content? Probably not.

Shannon Elizabeth content? Well, a few, yes.

But most of the people coming here are actually looking for, you guessed it, WWE-related content.

Funny thing, eh? I start this site off just to talk about poker, and get nothing. Maybe five hits a day at most, one or two of those being me, yet as soon as I started discussing all things WWE, people flock here as if I have the latest scoop on the business.

Which begs the questions... Is the WWE booming while poker is sinking? Is Mr. Kennedy to the WWE what Chris Moneymaker was to poker? Or are my readers all just gay for those statue-esque Triple H poses that find their way into my posts? (see pic on the right)

Whatever it is, the WWE seems to be hot right now, and although the current television ratings don't agree with that statement, they will in the coming months.

PS - Look away from the Triple H pic and get your hands out of your pants pervs... this isn't that kind of site!

PPS - Enjoy the nice long weekend everybody.

Building Your Image by Defending Your Blinds

2008-05-22T00:01:00.001-04:00

It's no secret that I advocate a loose, but aggressive approach to poker. The first reason I believe it is a great style to play is because, well, it's often mathematically correct to bet at a pot rather than check, call, or fold. But the second reason I advise people to add aggression, mixed in with the right amount of loose play, to their arsenal is because of the image you develop as you toss money into the pot, and the rewards you can reap from that image later.

Let me warn you though, this style isn't for the weak-hearted. Your variance swings will become wider and, unless you have the proper bankroll (20 maximum buy-ins for the stakes), you won't be able to withstand it anyways. However, there is a cheap way to build this wild/loose image, and although it will initially cost you a little money, you probably will put yourself into position for a bigger pot later on that session. I'll now just get to the point... DEFEND YOUR BLINDS!

By defending those blinds (and by that, I mean calling a standard preflop raise), you will be tricking your opponents into thinking you are some reckless player destined to lose your money. And you know what, to a point they are correct in thinking those who regularly defend their blinds and play these pots OOP are consistent losers. Little do they know that all you're doing is giving away some money now to win a lot back more later on.

Let me now show you exactly why it can be profitable to defend your blinds:

1. It doesn't cost much to defend a preflop raise here and there.
2. You're building your loose/wild image at a cheap rate.
3. Down the road, if you get a good hand, by having that loose/wild image, you are MUCH more likely to win a bigger pot than if you didn't.

Chicago Bulls win No. 1 pick in the NBA Draft Lottery

2008-05-21T09:13:00.002-04:00

If you didn't know already, I am, and have ALWAYS been, a huge Chicago Bulls fan. Watching the NBA Draft Lottery last night, my team barely had a puncher's chance of drawing a top three pick, let alone pick number one.

But during the 30-minute broadcast, when it was announced 15 minutes in that the Bulls had moved up into the top three, I was giddy with excitement. Once it was shown that the Timberwolves drew pick number three (leaving the Bulls with a top two pick) a shriek, so high-pitched that all the neighborhood dogs may have gathered at my front door, escaped my mouth. When my wildest dream had come true, I jumped up and went fuckin nuts!

So what is John Paxson, the luckiest man in the world besides Tony Parker, going to do with his most valuable asset?

Most mock drafts out there indicate that Michael Beasley, the consensus 1A prospect, will be his choice. The Bulls' glaring hole in the post has killed 'em for years, and Beasley, although still young, has a polished low post game for his age that will improve even more with time. He's also got the great jump shot that is so hard to find in a big man.

Those mock drafts, however, may not necessarily be right. Chicago-native Derrick Rose, the consensus 1B prospect, could be the pick. Rose is a point guard that blends freakish athleticism with excellent vision, a combination only the best of point guards have. However, considering the Bulls already have Kirk Hinrich, a decent point guard in his own right, choosing Rose wouldn't make sense to me unless the Bulls are ready to trade Hinrich away.

Rose seems like the sure thing of the draft, destined to be a 17 points/10 assists/2 steals-per-game guy. But Beasley, with his inside-outside dynamic, has a limitless ceiling that surely leaves scouts drooling. Either way, whichever player the Bulls rebuild around, I'll be happy.

Monday Night RAW Results - 5/19/08

2008-05-20T20:35:00.004-04:00

You'll have to excuse me for not making a lengthier post, but today I don't have the time to write out what happened last night. Here's what went down:

Jeff Hardy, fresh off a Judgment Day win over MVP, gets a draw against Umaga. Both were counted out.

Beth Phoenix defeated Maria Kanellis.

Batista pinned Jericho and won the chance to face Shawn Michaels at One Night Stand.

Mr. Kennedy defeated William Regal in an "Your Fired" match. (This match was set up by Vince McMahon earlier)

JBL and Randy Orton defeated Triple H and John Cena.

JBL said, after the match, that his match with Cena at One Night Stand would be a First Blood match. Orton followed by stating his championship match with Triple H would be a Last Man Standing match.

Multi-tabling

2008-05-19T13:29:00.003-04:00

I'm a bad multi-tabler.

There, I said it. It's now out in the open. Mock me if you wish, but this may be the single-biggest realization I've ever had during my time on the virtual felt.

You should see some of the oh-so-many-mistakes when I play four, three, heck, even two tables... and these aren't just any mistakes, but rookie mistakes:

Overplaying my overpairs? Check. Missing out on bets with my strong hands? Check. Failing to understand that the table dynamic is constantly changing? Check. Not quitting when the game goes sour? Check. Bluffing chips away when I should have slowed down? Check.

The list goes on and on...

I honestly feel dumb for not realizing this sooner, I'm talking YEARS sooner, but to bring up the old cliche, "better late than never"... right?

It's Official

2008-05-15T09:09:00.004-04:00

It's official... I'm going with my family to see Monday Night RAW in DC at the Verizon Center on July 28th! Time to break out the poster board and markers!

High Stakes Poker cancelled?

2008-05-14T11:30:00.003-04:00

GSN is likely going to cancel High Stakes Poker, the best pure poker show by far, as they seem to want to replace it with more episodes of the World Poker Tour. Well played GSN.

* * * * *

I got my cash game on last night, and as I anticipated, I made some basic mistakes that cost me 50 bucks. I won't go into detail, but the gist of it is that I first passively played (on the flop), then overplayed (on the turn) a pocket pair of kings when it was obvious when I was beat.

I'll give it another shot tonight and see how it goes... the goal is to have my buy-in last longer than the 30 hands it took to lose it last night!

Monday Night RAW Review - 5/12/08

2008-05-13T07:23:00.005-04:00

Sir William Regal, the RAW general manager, opened up the last RAW before the upcoming-Judgment Day by having Lillian Garcia sing "God Save the Queen". Being that RAW was in Detroit, the fans didn't take too kindly to that. Regal responded by saying the crowd needed to respect him, and if need be, he'd throw people out to make an example of them. He walked around the ring, looking for people to throw out, and he settled on one particular couple. Mickie James came running out of the back and begged Regal not to throw them out, as the man from that couple was James' younger brother. James continued to plead with him, and this angered Regal so much that he threatened he'd strip her of her Women's Championship.

Just then, John Cena's music hit, and he came out to put an end to the madness. Before he did that, however, he asked Mickie to leave so that Regal wouldn't take her championship away. Cena then confronted Regal, telling him that, although he could relate to what Regal was going through, he was doing everything the wrong way. Cena explained that he knew what it was like to give everything he had to the fans, only to be booed back. Regal countered by saying Vince (McMahon) was happy with what was going on, but Cena yelled that Vince was insane. Cena then began to read negative fan emails that were sent in to WWE.com in response to what Regal had been doing over the last few weeks. It looked like Regal began to understand how everybody felt, and gave his word that he wouldn't turn the lights out on any matches that night.

Regal then told Cena that, tonight, he'd be put in a match with Randy Orton. Cena asked when he could be expecting his rival, JBL, to interfere, but Regal promised that all people not involved in the match would be banned from ringside.

Regal then started to leave when Cena stopped him. He said that wasn't all he came down for. Cena said that RAW shouldn't have opened up with "God Save the Queen", as they were in Detroit aka Motown... the fans deserved more respect than that. He then asked Lillian Garcia to sing Aretha Franklin's "Respect", and she obliged.

This opening segment looked like it worked REALLY well in Detroit, and the crowd even started to cheer Cena after he confronted Regal. On television it came across just ok, but even I, a Cena-basher, thought Cena did a good job.

In the first match of the night, the tag team champions Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes (son of Dusty Rhodes), were to put their belts on the line against the newest "who-cares-about-this-duo" Carlito and Santino Morella. The match got little attention from the crowd, and I nearly even fast-forwarded through the match using Tivo. The champions retained their titles.

The next match had Mr. Kennedy up against Snitsky. Kennedy first came out and did his thing on the mic. Surprisingly, the crowd ate it up even though he had turned face just three weeks ago.

Snitsky dominated the match to begin, using powerful blows and grapple moves, but Kennedy slowly battled back, attacking Snitsky's legs to get him off his base. The crowd favorite then hit his "Mic Check" (sort of a reverse Rock Bottom) to end the match.

John Cena had a backstage segment where Mickie James asked him to go out for drinks with her brother and her brother's girlfriend (the ones that were thrown out earlier by Regal). After joking around a little, Cena agreed.

The women's tag team match, with Mickie James and Maria going up against Beth Phoenix and Melina, was better than the men's tag-team match, but still boring overall. Melina, once again, accidentally bumped into Beth, and Beth reacted by leaving Melina in the ring to fight for herself. Mickie and Maria won the match shortly after Beth's exit.

In the next segment, Chris Jericho wanted to apologize to Shawn Michaels for thinking that Michaels faked a knee injury during his match with Batista at the last pay-per-view. Michaels came out, and after allowing Jericho to apologize, admitted that he did in fact feign the knee injury. He defended himself by saying that he did say, before that pay-per-view match, that he'd do whatever it took to win. Jericho didn't believe him, even saying that Michaels was insulting his intelligence. Michaels then delivered the Sweet Chin Music to Jericho, and jumped out of the ring over the top rope to further prove his point.

To the surprise of the crowd and television viewers alike, Jeff Hardy's music came on, and he came out to the ring. He got on the mic and apologized for making the mistake he did (he was just suspended for drug use). He then wanted to go on, but his mic went off. After Hardy tapped it a few times, Regal walked out by the titantron, saying that he cut off Hardy's mic because nobody wanted to hear him apologize. Regal then said that Hardy would be fighting tonight, and out came Umaga.

Hardy started the match off strong, doing a baseball slide to Umaga who had yet entered the ring. Umaga then threw Hardy into the dividers between the ring and crowd, then threw him back into the ring. After going back-and-fourth, Umaga stood Hardy up in front of a turnbuckle, and attempted to run into Hardy with all his might. Hardy, though, moved out of the way, and executed a "Whisper in the Wind" to get the pinfall win.

In the next match, Cryme Time came out and faced Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. Murdoch earned a victory within a few minutes, and it looked as though his partner Cade appreciated it. Cade then got a mic and even suggested that Murdoch's singing last week must've been the good luck they needed. He asked Murdoch to sing, and Murdoch began to sing "Know When to Hold 'Em". When he had his back turned, Cade attacked Murdoch, and left him in the ring.

In the main event John Cena was to face Randy Orton (who came out to some pretty good heel-ish music BTW). Cena started off with a few offensive moves, but Orton quickly took over the match with a few of his own moves. Cena began to fight out of a choke hold, and then attempted some moves to only see Orton counter them. Orton then went for his trademark "RKO", but that was countered by Cena. Cena then went to the top rope and hit the flying leg drop. He attempted to follow that up with a "Five-Knuckle Shuffle", but Orton escaped to the outside of the ring.

Just then, William Regal came out with JBL by his side. JBL was dressed in a ref's outfit, and Regal instructed that JBL was the new referee of the match. As soon as JBL entered the ring, Cena began beating the crap out of him. Unfortunately, Orton, like a vulture, joined in on the fight and helped JBL beat down Cena.

This went on for a good few minutes until Triple H came out to help. He started going at it with Orton, while Cena's fight with JBL spilled into the crowd, then backstage. As Triple H and Orton fought, a STEEL CAGE was lowered, certainly a preview of their main even title match on Sunday, and the crowd went nuts. Triple H beat the living crap out of Orton, threw him out the ring, climbed on top of the cage, and stared down at Orton.

* * * * *

The night was a great preview of the upcoming pay-per-view, as we saw Shawn Michaels admit to faking an injury (surely Batista will get back involved as a result), John Cena finally battle with JBL, and Triple H get his hands on Orton.

I will not be ordering the pay-per-view this Sunday, as I'm a little short on money this month, but I will post the details here as soon as I hear them.

Stay tuned my closet WWE fans.

The Reason...

2008-05-13T07:23:00.004-04:00

This is the reason why I haven't answered my phone in two days...

It also probably happens to be the same reason why nobody has called me in two days...

I Wish...

2008-05-11T14:44:00.002-04:00

I wish there was more of this in sports...

And less of this...

PS - Happy Mother's Day

Regarding the Name Change...

2008-05-08T13:31:00.003-04:00

Yea, I know this is after-the-fact, but I changed this site's name earlier this week from "Home Away From Home" to "Wrestling and Poker".

I did this because I've lately begun to REALLY get into the WWE, and that has reflected on this site. A third of my content has been WWE-related, and I'm not planning to stop writing about it no matter how dumb you think it is (wrestling will get mainstream again... just you watch). So for those of you who visit this site for poker-related material, you'll still get that, but just not quite as often, as a third of my time will be spent dissecting the WWE.

FYI, I still like to think poker is my number one passion, and although I haven't played a hand in the last 10 days or so (due to finals), I still think about it a great deal. In fact, I have two strategy-related posts sitting as drafts, one titled "The Phantom Call" and the other named "Building Your Image Through Blind Defense". The former will probably be up within a week, and the latter I'll need some additional time to work on.

* * * * *

BTW, I've been getting a TON of hits on this site just for using the following picture in one of my posts:

Which brings the question, are my readers all closet-wrestling fans, or just hiding in the closet? Either way, you're my kind of readers. *wink*

We Need a New Chris Moneymaker

2008-05-07T11:28:00.004-04:00

It's no secret that the poker boom has died down. Part of that can be attributed to the UIGEA cock-blocking the internet boom, but it's also partially because poker lacks a mainstream, widely-celebrated star that even the most casual poker fan could relate with. Essentially, poker needs a new Chris Moneymaker, and ESPN may just give us one in November. According to various sources, the final table of the main event will be played 117 days after the player who finishes in 10th place is eliminated.

The reason ESPN is doing this is because, during those 117 days, they will be able to air their coverage of not only all of the pre-main event tournaments, but they will also show their coverage of the main event leading up to the final table. They're hoping, as a result of putting off the final table, anticipation will build to a boiling point... and it certainly will. But what does this mean for those who are lucky enough to make that main event final table?

Well, each of them will definitely receive more media attention than they would have in the "old" format. That additional media coverage may even churn out a media darling or two from the bunch, resulting in a potential Moneymaker fanfare situation. Heck, if we're lucky, a rivalry could develop between some of the players, adding more spice to an already tantalizing-to-watch final table. Benefits to the players will surely ensue, as sponsors will be knocking on their doors, clamoring to put their company's logo on their shirts.

You can also expect each of the nine remaining players to become MUCH sharper skill-wise during the 117-day gap. Whether by experience, scouting, or with the help of a coach, this certain growth in skill amongst the players will add a "different dynamic" to the table, according to poker pro Daniel Negreanu.

Are there any cons to this? Yes, well, just one. If something were to happen during the four-month gap to one of the players, their chips would be blinded off once the main event resumed. But potentially re-inventing the game and helping it grow is far more important than any qualms the nine final table players may have with the scheduling.

Come November, I'll have my fishing pole ready to embrace and catch the new breed of fish. Will you?

Monday Night RAW review - 05/05/08

2008-05-05T23:58:00.004-04:00

The backlash from last week's episode was crazy, as many fans like me were not only angry when William Regal pulled the plug on the main event, but we were kinda confused too.

Anyways, the show opened up with Vincent Kennedy McMahon discussing the Regal controversy, and while it looked like he was going to reprimand Regal for his actions, McMahon then did a classic 180 and congratulated the RAW GM for his brilliance.

Regal then came out to the dismay of the crowd, and like last week, went over his whole "Respect me" schtick. He threatened to turn off the lights if the crowd didn't give him the respect he was due, and when the crowd responded with a "Regal sucks" chant, he kept his word and had the lights shut off momentarily. Regal then reiterated that he would be happy to do this at any time.

Mr. Kennedy's music went off and the crowd went crazy (hate to say I told you so). Kennedy challenged Regal yet again, and of course Regal passed on the offer. Regal then said it was a shame that Kennedy didn't know his place, and again made the point that he was Kennedy's superior. Kennedy said, "Prove it". Regal then said he would be putting Kennedy in a massive handicap match against the entire ECW roster in the main event to not only promote ECW's upcoming 100th episode, but basically also to teach Kennedy a lesson.

Triple H's music hit, and the crowd was even wilder than before. He started threatening Regal because he was angry when Regal pulled the plug on his match last week, and Regal responded by saying that Triple H would be paired with Kennedy in the handicap match for the main event.

More WWE programs need to start off just as it did tonight. Taking the crowd and viewers on a roller-coaster ride like this opening did is what the WWE is all about.

The women's lumberjack match was a snoozer. Mickie James was successful in her title defense against the "Glamazon" Beth Phoenix. At least the inevitable mid-match commercial break came on here and not during the main event, so that counts for something I guess.

Trish Stratus made a cameo backstage with Ron Simmons (who was just inducted into the college football hall of fame) and a singing Trevor Murdoch. Can't complain about the cameo as it had all the ingredients of a successful one: namely, Trish Stratus!

Randy Orton is later shown backstage, and is asked about his thoughts on Regal ending his title match with Triple H early. Orton responds to the interviewer (don't know his name) by saying he respected the decision. This cameo was more filler than anything.

Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels teamed up against The Miz and John Morrison for a solid tag-team match. The "controversy" surrounding Michaels potentially faking a knee injury (and Jericho calling him out on it) hasn't captured my attention, and it doesn't seem like the live crowds care one way or another. Good wrestlers, poorly-written storyline.

Randy Orton and CM Punk had an excellent match that was seemingly scheduled out of nowhere, but that doesn't matter because, just as the match was getting exciting, Regal walked out and ended the match by turning the lights off.

After a commercial break, Orton was once again asked backstage what his thoughts were on Regal. This time Orton was clearly angry, and said he would walk into Regal's office and demand to know what the hell was going on. The crowd actually gave him a big cheer for this (which means the writers, regarding the Regal storyline, have done a good job of putting it all togetherl... getting a cheer out of one heel when he's angry at another heel is probably one of the hardest things to do in the WWE... look at JBL vs. Cena's storyline if you think otherwise).

Carlito's Cabana made it's return to RAW, and Carlito's guest was the immortal Roddy Piper. Things heated up between the two, and it nearly escalated into a beat-down when Santino Morella joined Carlito, but luckily for Piper Cody Rhodes and Cryme Time came out and saved him. Carlito and Morella escaped, and then Cryme Time started chanting, "Rowdy, Rowdy... Yea Yea!" The crowd seemed to really get into the chant, and even my pessimistic self was entertained. Rhodes, Piper, and the duo Cryme Time all danced into the commercial break.

Coming back from the break, JBL had a match with a random wrestler I assume was called up from the minor leagues. JBL didn't let his opponent get in a single offensive move, and that was that. JBL then "sent a message" to John Cena by beating up his opponent some more after he pinned him. Regarding this rivalry, I don't know if I've ever seen a storyline so underdeveloped and boring. Cena and JBL haven't even been face-to-face since the last pay-per-view (I think), yet somehow these two have bad blood brewing between them heading into Judgment Day? WWE writers, you're better than this.

The main event looked like it was going to be a good one, as legend-in-the-making Mr. Kennedy and living legend Triple H had their work cut out for them against 14 other ECW wrestlers. Unfortunately the match didn't live up to its billing, as it was a rather short and decisive victory for the ECW roster. In fact, more action happened post-match, as the ECW roster ganged up on Triple H and started beating him up. Fortunately Triple H was able to get his hands on a chair and knock out most of those who were coming at him.

In the midst of Triple H handing out chair shots, the lights suddenly went out, and when they came back on Orton was in the ring stalking Triple H behind him. Orton RKO'd Triple H, and stood over him as the show went off the air.

Overall this edition of RAW was pretty good, a solid 8 out of 10 in my book. There were some segments that didn't do much for me nor the crowd (Diva's match, JBL's match), but that didn't stop the great segments from being, well, great.

Heads-Up Challenge

2008-05-01T08:54:00.002-04:00

I spoke with my buddy Veneno yesterday, and we're resuming our HU Challenge we started a year ago. At the moment, I'm up 2-1, with my wins coming in HORSE and 7-Card Stud matches, and my loss coming in a FLHE match. I forget how many matches we planned on playing, and I can't even remember what the winner of the series was going to get, but the details will be ironed out over the next few days.

On another note, I may soon be putting into words the most embarrassing, humiliating moment of my life for this site (a friend recently convinced me). I promise you it's a legendary tale.

Third, I'm planning on taking a look at some CardRunners videos on youtube, and I may buy a subscription for that site if one of the videos rope me in.

Stay tuned.

Monday Night Raw Review - 4/28/08 (just the good stuff)

2008-04-30T08:46:00.000-04:00

Monday Night RAW Review - 4/28/08 (just the good stuff)

This isn't the first time I've written about the WWE on this page, and it likely won't be the last. Starting today, I will be reviewing each-and-every Monday Night RAW from here on out. If you don't like it, my apologies.

(BTW, somebody recently came across this page using Stumble Upon, and after reading my "How to Save the WWE" post, they decided to leave the post a review of "Dave Meltzer he is not." FYI, Meltzer is the editor for the Wrestling Observer Newsletter. This guy obviously thought he left me a bad review, but I'm glad he didn't favorably compare me to Meltzer's work (which is nothing but a composition of nostalgic garbage).

Also, I'm now 100% sure that Vince McMahon is one of my four readers, as the WWE seemed to take one of the suggestions I made last week for the show last night... more on that later.

On to the review...

Triple H made his debut as the WWE Champion to kick the night off, and although I do think he is single-handedly holding back the careers of many wrestlers by dominating the title picture, I'm starting to think that this may be the last significant title reign of his career. The WWE seems to be pushing the young stars of the business more and more (ex: Randy Orton, Mr. Kennedy, Cody Rhodes, etc), so it's only a matter of time before they are the ones to dominate the spotlight.

Anyways, the fans gave a standing ovation to Triple H, chanting his name many times over. Orton interrupts Triple H's speech, and the two get into a heated conversation that results in Orton demanding for his title re-match tonight.

The WWE Divas engaged in a 12-woman tag team match (6 vs. 6), and I spent the whole match staring at Layla. As I was staring, I did hear Mickie James 's music at the end of the match, so I do think the "good girls" won the match.

JBL, fresh off a main event title match loss at Backlash, was put in a match with one of the guys from the tag team duo "The Highlanders" (not worth the work to link to these guys). JBL won within two minutes, and the crowd really didn't seem to care... I can't blame them. I really don't think the WWE knows where they're going with this guy. He does have the ability to play heel really well, but he may need to move to Smackdown, a roster with many more faces, to develop a worthwhile long-term rivalry.

After the match, JBL heads over to the announcer's table to call out John Cena. If the WWE thinks they can make that rivalry work, shame on them. Fans already had to endure that lame rivalry once before, and I don't understand why things are heating up between them again.

The surprisingly entertaining tag-team duo of Paul London and Brian Kendrick came out and got a relatively big pop from the crowd (do I smell Hardy Boyz 2.0?). Of that duo, London faced Trevor Murdoch and defeated him with a possum pin. After the match, Murdoch's regular tag-team partner Lance Cade looked disappointed with the results (a theme carried over from previous weeks). Murdoch could see the hurt in Cade's face, and to the surprise of everybody watching, stood on top of the announcer's table and sung a heartfelt Garth Brooks song. I don't know who's idea this was, but it was an interesting twist in an otherwise predictable show.

William Regal, winner of the King of the Ring tournament held last week, sat in a throne telling fans about how, as both general manager and King of the Ring, he was going to rule the WWE and command respect from wrestlers and fans alike. This went on for a few minutes, with half the crowd booing him and the other half yelling that god-awful "WHAT?" chant every time Regal paused, and then the future of the WWE, Mr. Kennedy, came out to silence him.

I think Vince McMahon did actually read my "How to Save the WWE" post last week, because in that post I specifically suggested that the company make Mr. Kennedy a face. Guess what they did last night? Yep, Mr. Kennedy got in a fist fight with Regal, and the crowd (and myself) ate it up. I'm getting giddy from the possibility of a future where Kennedy becomes a Rock-esque figure in the WWE.

Chris Jericho hosted another addition of his "talk show", The Highlight Reel, and in it he ridiculed Shawn Michaels for faking an injury, then taking advantage of his opponent's reaction to that injury, during his match at Backlash. The whole segment went over poorly, and wasn't received well by the crowd as it looked like they didn't want to buy into Jericho turning heel.

The main event of the match, a title rematch between Orton and HHH, was great. Each wrestler fought as if it were a pay-per-view match, and in some ways it was. However, as the match looked like it was going to conclude, William Regal, feeling disrespected by the way Mr. Kennedy interrupted him earlier, was shown backstage by where the editors and directors of the show were. He demanded of them that the show be taken off the air, explaining that the fans didn't deserve to see the end of the match after the way he was treated earlier, and the show immediately went dark. There was a moment where it looked like RAW would come back on air, but no, the show did indeed go off the air. How lame.

Overall the show was great with many new storylines emerging from Backlash. I can see that the WWE really wants to play up Regal as a heel so that it further propels his rivalry with Kennedy (which may be a good thing), but to end a show the way it did Monday night was as anti-climactic as it could get on a night full of drama.

My Ticket to Meet Shannon Elizabeth (or so I thought)

2008-04-29T08:43:00.003-04:00

Never in my wildest dream could I imagine, on one Monday morning back in September '07, that I'd not only win a pair of tickets to Vegas for free, but also score tickets to see the movie premiere of Deal, and get the chance to ~~stalk~~ meet Shannon Elizabeth.

It was just another usual Monday, and I was driving back from work. The radio was turned to 99.5, a very popular station in the DC-Northern VA area, and there was Shannon Elizabeth, doing an interview for her upcoming chick-flick-disguised-as-a-poker-movie Deal. Don't ask me why I didn't change the tuner to ESPN radio, my other go-to station, for I cannot give you an answer. Revoke my man-card if you wish.

Once the interview wrapped up, the hosts of the radio show AND Shannon Elizabeth announced that the next 50 callers would score two tickets to Vegas and the movie premiere of Deal. Immediately I flipped my phone open, getting ready to punch in the phone number as it was announced. During that time I was fumbling and fidgeting with my phone, apparently I missed out on the important part where they announced that this was for couples only. So when I called and they asked me who my significant other was, I gave the worst answer I've ever given off the top of my head: my mom.

Being that our last names were the same, the operator asked, "Are you married?"

"No, (our last names) are like 'Smith' where I'm from."

So yea, I may have been going on a trip with my mom, but I didn't care. Vegas is Vegas, and a free trip to Vegas is as good as it gets. Besides, if I had the chance to exploit my .00000000001% chance of getting into Shannon Elizabeth's pants, putting up with my mom for a week would be been worth it.

Anyways, I eagerly checked my mailbox every day after like a kid waiting for some cereal box mail-in toy. The days eventually turned into weeks, and the weeks into months. The credit card I gave the radio station may have been charged the "processing fee" of ten bucks, but the tickets never came.

Eight months have now gone by, and according to the Poker Girl in Vegas that movie premiere I supposedly won tickets to has come and gone. I'll never get to go on that trip to Vegas for free, and more importantly, I'll never get to roll the dice on that .00000000001% chance I had with Shannon Elizabeth.

How to Save the WWE

2008-04-24T13:18:00.006-04:00

Let's just get this out of the way now... I'm a nerd. I play video games as often as J.P from Grandma's Boy, I read as often as Bill Belichek cheats, and I watch bad TV as often as Prison Break, Everybody Loves Raymond, and the WWE come on.

If you can't stand to hear a nerd rant about how the WWE can be saved, leave now. I'm serious. I'm really going to do this. I don't want you getting past this sentence if you're not interested, because I'm about to come off as a total boob... although I do promise some poker at the end.

Why am I doing this you ask? Because, on the off chance that Vincent Kennedy McMahon is one of my four readers, I can single-handedly save the WWE. Without further ado:

How to Save the WWE
by KGBlovesOreos

1. There are six men on the current WWE roster that are no-brainer HOFers: Triple H, The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, Y2J, Kane, and The Big Show. All these men have gone back-and-fourth as faces and heels throughout their careers, but the reasons they are now as popular as ever is because they are currently all "good guys". The same cannot be said for the majority of the "up-and-comers" the WWE is pushing as front-runners: John Cena, Mr. Kennedy, Randy Orton, Batista, Edge, and Jeff Hardy.

Of those men, only one (Hardy) is a fan favorite, and the rest draw nothing but boos. Even then, Hardy is in the middle of his second drug suspension, meaning his chance of getting back the trust of the WWE execs in order to make him a major player in the company is nil.

My solution: Push Mr. Kennedy as a face, and do everything you can to make Cena a crowd favorite. Kennedy is already popular as a heel (shades of Stone Cold Steve Austin), so it would be a seamless transition. John Cena on the other hand, has become a tough sell to the crowd. The WWE looked like they badly wanted Cena as a face when they put him up against Orton late last year, but that didn't go over well. Cena was injured shortly thereafter anyways, but ever since his return the WWE has put little effort into having him win over the fans. He continues to get boos from, oh, 90% of the crowd, and even then, the only people cheering him on are the little kids.

2. Stop having the young, fan-friendly faces go up against legends. I understand the WWE's motive of wanting to "boost" the career of the younger wrestlers by putting them up against the establish veterans, but following this formula (which can officially be declared "flawed") has hurt the careers of two formerly VERY popular, young, wrestlers:

John Cena - This man has been put in some impossible situations that stumped his career from something potentially special (no really). It started when he and Jericho had a feud that culminated in a You're Fired match. Cena may have escaped unemployment when he won the match, but the boos that were first heard that night carried over into his ensuing battles with crowd uber-favorites like RVD, Shawn Michaels, and Triple H. The crowd only got worse as the months went on, even making fun of his lack of moves, and instead of being the face of the company many thought he would be, he's the most hated wrestler in the business.

Batista - Had a spectacular feud with The Undertaker over the last two years, and he is now fighting Shawn Michaels. Guess who the crowd chose in both rivalries? Ugh. Yet again, another popular wrestler who has all the tools (microphone skills, great entrance, good moves), but has stopped gaining popularity because of his fights with HOFers.

My solution: Turn some of the legends into heels/bad guys, make sure the crowd is fully turned against them, and once the timing is right, let the fresh faces fight them. If not this, then don't ever put the young-ins against the old-timers.

3. Develop rivalries, don't force them. The WWE creative team has been very, hmmm, how can I put this nicely... bland with their storylines. They try and come up with the most creative matches possible, but by doing so, they forget to develop the rivalries themselves (which can be done in 5-10 minute segments compiled of backstage interviews, match contract signings, interference, etc). For example, let's take a look at the four men who will compete for the WWE Championship this Sunday at Backlash:

Randy Orton is the champion, so by default he's involved.
Triple H involves himself by simply telling the GM he deserves to be in the hunt. He "earns" a qualifying match, and wins.
John Bradshaw Layfield involves himself by telling Orton he's a fluke. That's it. Riveting huh?
John Cena also involves himself by crying to the GM. He, like Triple H, "earns" a qualifying match, and wins.

The WWE is better than that. Even if the four-way rivalry began as follows, I would've been happy:

Donkament number 42052689, Freeroll
25/50 blinds
John Cena is OTB and has 1000 chips
Randy Orton is in the SB and has 14500 chips
Triple H is in the BB and has 200 chips
JBL is UTG and has 300 chips
JBL raises all in to 300
JBL: I'm feelin mayghty nayyce being the Wall Street KING that I am. *wink wink*
JBL: And even if one of you mules gets lucky and beats me, I steell get to ride home in mahhh limo.
John Cena tries to reraise to 305 chips
Triple H: That's not a move.
John Cena tries to raise to 5,000,000 chips
Triple H: That's not a move either. Don't you have any moves?
John Cena raises to 1000 chips and is all in
John Cena: Word life.
Randy Orton: What does that even mean?!?
John Cena: STFU.
Triple H: This guy makes Festus look like Einstein.
Randy Orton pushes his small blind in and looks like he gives up.
Randy Orton: I'm going to hold on to my cards just to see if they hit.
Triple H: The little girl escapes yet again.
JBL: What are you doing Orton? You have 14,500 chips, and you have the chance to eliminate two competitors for only 1000 of your chips! You just passed up on a very Bullish opportunity son!!!
Randy Orton: I know what I'm doing... I'm the legend killer!
Triple H: *rolls eyes*
Triple H calls 200 chips and is all in.
Triple H: *takes out his sledgehammer and points it at the dealer* You better make me win.

JBL shows KK
John Cena shows 92
Triple H: So Cena does have moves, but he sucks anyways.
Triple H shows 33

FLOP: 6-3-9
Triple H: *smirks* Good job dealer.

Turn: 6-3-9-2
Triple H: Uh oh.

River: 6-3-9-2-9
Triple H: How does this guy keep winning when he sucks so much?

Randy Orton: He didn't win. I did.
John Cena: FU.
JBL: Do you ever say anaything that makes sense?

Randy Orton: Look at the small blind I pushed in... see how there's an extra chip?

Triple H: So?

Orton: That's a call in any casino. And since I never folded my hand or even said "I fold", my cards still play.

Dealer: He's right. Orton wins the pot.
Orton: Game over.
Triple H: Hey, that's my line!

So there, that's how the WWE can be saved.

PS - If Chris Moneymaker can save poker, any random schmuck can do it for the WWE.

Uber-post coming...

2008-04-24T11:30:00.002-04:00

Working on a lengthy post right now... should have it done by the end of the work day. In case you're wondering what it's about, here's a clue:

Abstaining From the Norm (Part 1 of ???)

2008-04-22T12:59:00.005-04:00

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

~ Albert Einstein

There are a number of classic situations that you will witness anytime you have a seat at a poker table. You know who is going to do what, know when they're going to do it, and know how they're going to do it... but do you do anything to stop this pattern? No. Instead you let it slip, and your opponent is the one raking in the chips instead of you. You may not realize it, but within those classic situations are opportunities that can be exploited for profit. Today I will go into the preflop button/cutoff steal that is inevitable at even the most novice of tables.

In this situation UTG will kick things off with a fold, and everybody will follow suit and muck around to the cutoff. With almost any semi-decent hand, the CO/button will raise to 3x or 4x the BB (and rightfully so might I add). Once he does, there is a very good chance that he will take down the pot uncontested, as he only needs the two or three players behind him to fold.

Before we get into how this basic move can be countered, let's look at why it is so easy for the button and cutoff to steal and get away with it as often as they do:

Five or six players have already acted in front of him, and all have made their decision to throw away their hand. The CO/button have no fear of anybody slowplaying him with a monster hand.
The only player who can possibly have position on the CO is the button. Nobody can possibly have position on the button. Once the CO raises, the button is less likely to get involved (as is any other player). Once the button raises, the blinds aren't likely to get involved.
Two of the CO's three potential opponents (the small blind and the big blind) would be playing this hand out of position if they were to call the PF raise. All of the button's opponents would be playing OOP if they called. So to an even further extent, people are less likely to be calling when they have no chance of gaining position.

Those are the reasons why the CO/button should, and probably do steal often when the table folds around to them. And guess what? They know why they're doing it, and they knows that you know why they're doing it. However, once we're through today we'll be able to keep these CO players in check.

You can approach the CO/button steal machine a number of ways:

Make a PF raise from the seat to the right of the CO: In a way, you're extending the "stealing position" from just the button and CO to the button, the CO, and the seat right before the CO (aka CO +1). The CO+1 seat is not normally seen as a "stealing" position, and that makes this play deceptive. The downfall to this is that you're vulnerable to a reraise from two seats that have better position than you; but you won't often see this at most tables.
If you are on the button, reraise: You will narrow your opponents' (that includes the blinds') calling range down to the most narrow of ranges, and you will have the best seat at the table throughout the hand post-flop. The reason I don't advise you to just call is because doing so increases the chances that the blinds will also call. Instead of then having the chance to go head-to-head with one opponent, you now are potentially facing three. There is no downfall to reraising preflop on the button as long as you are ready to follow through with that aggression OTF.
If you are sitting in the blinds, reraise: This is the most deceptive of all the moves because people NEVER expect the blinds to reraise unless they were strong. You can raise with almost any hand here, and you will get away with it more often than you think. The con of this play is that you will start to play some medium-sized pots OOP if your opponents called, which can be a problem if not handled correctly.

So there you have it... that is how you should deal with players who frequently steal from the CO or from the button. If you have any further questions/comments, please leave them in the "Comments" section at the bottom of this post.

Reacting to another blogger's scenario (Pt. 1)

2008-04-17T15:50:00.005-04:00

The O-Poker blog posted this scenario today:

I don't have a read on the opponent other than he was 20/17/7.o (very high aggression factor) over only around 250 hands.

Full Tilt Poker No Limit Hold'em - 4 players
The Official 2+2 Hand Converter Powered By DeucesCracked.com

BB: $238.00
Hero (CO): $602.40
BTN: $1415.75
SB: $423.90

Pre Flop: Hero is CO with J J
Hero raises to $14, BTN calls $14, 2 folds

Flop: ($34.00) 9 T 4 (2 players)
Hero bets $24, BTN raises to $72,

Same questions as the QQ hand. Do your responses change based on it being JJ and an unknown opponent with a high aggression level over a small sample? (NOTE: We are playing 4 handed b/c a couple of players are sitting out. This may change your decision.)

1. What is your play here? If you say raise, how much? What do you do if he shoves?

2. If you flat call or raise the flop (and he flat calls), what do you do on the turn if it is a blank? if it is a heart? if it is a non-heart A, K, Q, or 8?

How you react depends on your table image:

- If you have a very tight image, you won't often be raised here unless you're beat.

- If your image is on the other end of the spectrum, your opponent is probably raising you here with a much wider range of hands. He may even be doing this with nothing, so you should be comfortable getting your stack in OTF if it gets to that point.

- If your image falls in the middle, or if you don't yet feel you have an image, you have to raise him to $200 and figure out where you stand. Should he come over the top for your stack, you should fold because it's likely he won't shove OTF on a stone-cold bluff after seeing you get so aggressive in response to his aggression. If he just calls the $200, with his image and stats, I'd assume you're ahead of the majority of his range.

The Office...

2008-04-17T12:01:00.004-04:00

Make sure you catch The Office tonight on NBC! If you're not already on the bandwagon, you can stream past episodes here.

Note: I'm not an NBC shill - I just happen to love the TV lineup they've put together!

* * * * *

What's up Singapore, India, Texas, North Carolina, and Wisconsin!

3betting & 4betting preflop

2008-04-16T10:10:00.007-04:00

I've been easing myself back into the thick of all things poker-blogging-related, and two days ago I realized it had been a year since I'd logged into my bloglines account. Turns out that the poker-blogging world was able to survive without me, as thousands of posts were published since I left. In an attempt to catch up, I picked 20 sites from which I would read the last year's posts, and from all the posts on those 20 sites, a few in particular caught my attention. Today I want to discuss a section of one post made by the Surly Poker Gnome:

In general, I like the idea of rarely four-betting (except against donks when you have a premium hand, or in multiway pots that you want to get heads-up). It allows you to get pretty good odds relative to the pot size when holding speculative hands like low pocket pairs, and it also disguises the strength of your hand when you hold Aces or Kings. The whole point of the game is to get paid off, and the way to do that is to win big pots when your speculative hands hit and not to go bust with overpairs.

I believe the most important concept of preflop betting (and all betting, for that matter) is that it shouldn't be automatic. Everything depends on your opponents, your table image, your position, your cards, stack sizes and the previous betting action. If you don't feel like you can call a four-bet, then maybe cold calling is the best option. If you have a hand like 76s, you should probably fold against a short stack raiser because you're not getting good enough implied odds. If you know someone sees most flops, don't hesitate to make your raises very expensive with your premium hands.

The part I'd like to draw your attention to is where she says "In general, I like the idea of rarely four-betting (except against donks when you have a premium hand, or in multiway pots that you want to get heads-up). It allows you to get pretty good odds relative to the pot size when holding speculative hands like low pocket pairs, and it also disguises the strength of your hand when you hold Aces or Kings. The whole point of the game is to get paid off, and the way to do that is to win big pots when your speculative hands hit and not to go bust with overpairs."

If you rarely 4-bet like the Surly Poker Gnome says, and just call opponents' 3-bets with premium hands like AA and KK, you are giving up a rather large edge preflop and losing out on quite a bit of value. Granted, you may disguise your big hands extremely well PF, but if your opponent is going to 3bet you PF, he's more than likely to continue putting money in the pot either way (unless you are at a table where 3-betting is commonplace - which is a rarity). You may as well give him a chance to make his mistake PF as opposed to post-flop, where he won't have the chance to escape from "scary" boards.

Also, if your opponents know you are going to be 4-betting most of the time with strong hands such as AA or KK, that opens up the opportunity for the rare, but effective-in-the-right-spot 4-bet bluff. Let's say you find yourself in a situation where you're the table bully, and your image is that of a maniac (and if you're playing low-stakes NLHE and you don't have that image, you're not playing the right way) . You can almost take it to the bank that somebody is soon going to 3bet one of your PF raises with a weak hand that cannot call a 4bet bluff. If you and your opponent had the right amount of chips, and you were cognizant of the situation, this would be an example of a right spot to 4bet bluff PF.

* * * * *

What's up Japan, Spain, Florida, Belgium, Bahrain, Ireland, Maine, Korea, and Connecticut!

Apologizing for a Few Things...

2008-04-14T09:21:00.004-04:00

1. Pardon me if you see this site undergo major visual changes every now and then. I still haven't yet come up with an official "look", so I will be making changes until I figure out just what that look is. Sorry.

2. Didn't play any poker this last weekend as I was too busy rotting on my couch watching The Masters, the NHL Playoffs, NBA games, and even some Washington Nationals baseball (it was one helluva sports weekend). So I don't really have anything to discuss regarding anything I experienced (Sorry.), BUT the weekend didn't go to complete waste poker-wise as I did do a lot of thinking over a play I saw on High Stakes Poker:

The small, defensive, out-of-position bet on the river - Phil Helmuth (holding A9) was heads-up in a pot vs. Daniel Negreanu (who held AK). By the time they reached the river, neither player held a pair, and the pot was worth $19k. Helmuth, who's c-bet was called by Negreanu on the flop, opted to make a small bet of $1k on the river after the turn went check-check to see if he could take the pot away. The move didn't work though, as Negreanu made the call and took down the $21k pot.

Initially I thought that the move made no sense, because he was probably getting called by many hands that beat him in that spot, and at the same time no hand that he could beat would call him. Looking back on the play now, I actually think the bet itself was a decent idea. If an opponent were slow-playing you on the flop by just calling your bet, and then you checked to him on the turn, I don't think he'd check behind you on 4th street if he were strong... he'd probably bet. I believe Helmuth saw weakness in Negreanu's check OTT, and attempted to exploit it, but it was the amount that Helmuth bet that didn't give the play a chance. Say Helmuth bet half the pot ($10k) instead of the $1k. Now can't that bet be seen as a value bet? What about $5k? Same thing, no?

I may do some experimenting with this in future sessions (meaning in situations where I'm OOP and my continuation bet is called OTF, and then it goes check-check OTT).

* * * * *

Just to warn you, I Tivo every episode of High Stakes Poker that airs, so I will likely be bringing up strange plays that I see from that show instead of plays I experience while playing online. If that annoys you too...

Bleep yourself.

Welcome

2008-04-10T11:31:00.002-04:00

Guess who's back... back again? KGBlovesOreos is back... tell a friend. Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back?

Oh... ummm, was that cheesy? I swear I just saw your eyes roll. Fine... I'll stop now.

Anyhoo, welcome to my poker/life blog, titled Home Away From Home, brought to you by yours truly, KGBlovesOreos. My former blog, It's all a Process, used to be here, but then I stupidly decided to delete it after a year of running it, and now some other monkey picked up the site's title and started their own spamtastic page.

I may as well now introduce myself to those who accidentally stumbled across this page and are some how miraculously still reading, and reintroduce myself to my former readers:

- I won't give out my real name, but I go by KGBlovesOreos on most common sites, and I play 6max .25/.50 NLHE cash games and 6max $10-$20 SNGs at Full Tilt Poker.

- Las Vegas and Atlantic City seem to be the only places I go when I travel outside my home state of Virginia, and when I get there I hop into the $1/$2 NLHE games that run there.

- Love to play video games for fun... NBA, NFL, WWE, Call of Duty, you name it.

- I attend classes full time at George Mason University, and although I am old enough to be a senior there, I'm roughly 45 credits behind the pace for a number of reasons, which means I will be graduating in two years.

- I work 27 hours a week, and with that money I pay for my new car (black '07 VW Jetta Wolfsburg), my family's cell phone plans, and my house's TV/internet/telephone bills.

From that you can see that I try to work hard, but I LOVE to play harder. People close to me misconstrue that and believe I'm lazy. That cannot be further from the truth, but we don't need to get into that now.

Anyways, this page will be updated whenever I have something worth posting, and I hope you enjoy whatever I come up with. I'll be exploring, as you could've guessed by now, the world of poker, but also gambling and life in general. I'll also be getting into a wide range of topics that seem worth writing about. Feel free to leave comments/feedback about anything you want, and I guarantee you I will respond to you one way or another.