Year of the Bible?

I don't know what this man hopes to accomplish, but Georgian Republican Paul Broun is hoping to officially make 2010 the "Year of the Bible".  Broun is defending himself by claiming "This doesn't have anything to do with Christianity".  That ass-backward logic baffles me to say the least.

Last time I checked, imposing religious beliefs onto the nation was frowned upon... right?  Maybe it's been a while since I "last checked" though, seeing that when I woke up this morning gay rights remain handicapped, abortion continues to split this nation down the middle, and only Christian presidents get voted in.

Religious freedom my ass.

YOUR Highlight Reel?

I don’t know if this will work or not, but what the hell…

This is YOUR opportunity to get in one of my celebrated columns and ask me any wrestling-related question you want!

Do you want inside skinny on the goings on of the WWE? Ask away!

Do you wonder what Mr. Kennedy’s jock-strap smells like? I’m your guy!

Do you want to know why I delude myself into thinking my columns are “celebrated” even though, besides XHeadlines, Full Tilt, and a sleazy poker magazine that has gone belly-up, nobody has dared to touch my work with a ten-foot-pole? Grill me!

In all seriousness, if you have questions about the WWE, TNA, or any MMA promotion, please submit them either in the comments section below this column, or email them to me at KGBlovesOreos@gmail.com.

And for goodness sake, if I don’t get enough questions let alone any at all, I’m going to have to have a Q&A column with my own made-up questions… and you wouldn’t do that to me would you?

Judgment Day Preview: A Case of Déjà Vu

I'm excited for a few of the matches in store for us, but I'm not quite sure what the rhyme or reason was for some of these bookings. Randy Orton vs. Batista I can live with because both men know how to deliver a match. But honestly, haven't we seen a lot of these matches before? And many times at that?

Big Show-Cena has been done to death, and their bouts have set the record for some of the pastiest-white matches we've ever seen... don't worry JBL, your matches with Cena are up there too. But to be honest, seeing Cena FU'ing, not Attitude-Adjusting, the Big Show time and time again flat-out takes away from just how impressive the feat is. I roll my eyes whenever I see it happen, and that is not something a fan should be doing when seeing such an act of strength!

Christian-Jack Swagger is actually a repeat match I can't wait to see. Christian's professionalism has been rubbing off on Jack Swagger, and I've noticed a steady improvement in Swagger's game just in the last two months alone. The program they've had has developed nicely, and ECW has become watchable solely because of these two.

As for Edge-Jeff Hardy, I don't know what to say. I'm confused, to be honest. We all know Hardy's contract is expiring later this summer and that he's declined extensions on multiple occasions, but he's still getting opportunities at the title? Maybe the WWE officials just think he's playing hardball and are just trying to appease him in the meantime, but it's rather risky. Edge could have had a number of programs with other faces such as Rey Mysterio or even CM Punk - both who are far less of a gamble. Either way, the matchup will probably be entertaining based off their history, but will we see anything different?

We'll all find out how the PPV turns out tomorrow. I think we'll see more of the same as we've seen before, but who knows... I could be surprised. Until then, be sure to check out XHeadline's PPV Headquarters for all the information you need for Judgment Day.

Another Change...

I changed the web address for this page yet again... I was disappointed with the direction I took with this page after changing to wwerumorsandrants.blogspot.com - a pure wrestling site, because it basically became the site where I copied + pasted my wrestling articles from XHeadlines.com.  It's not like I have an issue or anything with XHeadlines... they are giving me an opportunity on a highly-trafficked site that has a lot of potential, but the difference in content between my articles there and the posts I put up here was minimal.  So here I go again, changing the theme for this page one more time.  

Besides, isn't my shiney new title for this site much better?  And didn't you miss my terrible poker articles?  Or my articles about awkward office bathroom moments?

I know I did.

The Greenhorns of Grappling (Part Two)

Welcome back you silly gooses/geese/whatever. The following athletes finish up my top ten list of the brightest young stars in the WWE. If you missed part one of The Greenhorns of Grappling, feel free to hit the "Back" button on your browser now to take a look at that masterpiece of mine.

"Masterpiece" is a bit of a stretch I guess, right? Sighhhh... you guys are right. I guess I'm being too hard on myself. It wasn't just a masterpiece - it was a Pulitzer Prize-worthy piece. Better yet, it was the zenith of opinion columns that all future opinion columnists should compare themselves to.

Much better.

Anyhow... back to business.

#5: CM Punk

Some of you may have been annoyed that CM Punk won the MiTB yet again, but he really was the best possible person to win that match. I'll give you that he has technically been a champion before - thus not really making him much of a "greenhorn" - but do any of you view this guy as a legit main-eventer yet? Not yet right?

Well, I feel like his first title reign was REALLY screwed up by creative. But this time around it seems like the right steps have been taken towards building up CM Punk, as he has already pinned Edge legitimately and is now entering a program with Umaga. Once he's really over, and by that I mean once it really becomes believable rather than unbelievable that he's winning matches against the likes of Jericho, Edge, etc, it shouldn't be long before we see him hoisting up a title yet again.

#4: Jack Swagger

Brock Lesnar comes to mind when I see this beast in the ring. Only Shelton Benjamin, Batista, and Triple H's physiques compare to this guy's in terms of modern wrestlers, and although he still has room to improve his delivery on the mic, he's got plenty of raw talent.

His finisher is something I'm not all that impressed with, but that might be me nitpicking at a small thread sticking out of a, well, what is it that these kids wear nowadays... Von Dutch shirt? Whatever it is, it's a small imperfection on a nearly-perfect pure wrestler.

#3: MVP

I'm very curious to see how MVP's most recent push goes, because the longer I think about it the more I'm not sure he can get it done in the ring. I'll give him this - he's damn entertaining on the mic, and he brings a fresh, stylish persona we really haven't seen before.

But as I said, in the ring he isn't all too impressive. As you may have seen the last few weeks, the only time a crowd really, and I mean really gets into his matches is when he either jumps up and down to hype up the crowd (a very obvious gimmick), or he does that 'Ballin!' ditty. The same could be said for other wrestlers, but the way it comes across on the screen to me is that the audience almost falls into a lull before he does one of those two things to get everybody going... and that's not supposed to happen with a future star is it?

He's bound to improve though, and with the way he connects to people during his promos, the push he's getting now should should continue long enough for him to have time to iron out the wrinkles in his game.

#2: Mr. Kennedy... Kennedy

Common, you really didn't think I'd compile this list without naming the guy whose name is so nice you gotta say it twice... did you? Nobody shoots a promo better than Mr. Kennedy does... NOBODY! This guy is bound to have a major role in the company's future. Of course, the only thing that could hold him back from becoming the superstar we all know he can be are injuries.

Thus far this man has been a star-crossed guy... some of it was brought on by himself - but the rest was just one freak thing or the other. His biggest push he ever received was the one where he became a thorn in William Regal's side (who was then a major heel GM... lights on/lights off anybody?). Unfortunately that rivalry that had oh-so-much potential was cut short due to Regal's drug suspension.

Kennedy's failed pushes aside, what I do know though is that although this guy is better as a heel than a face, he needs to stay a crowd favorite just as he was before his last injury. The WWE is full of heels anyways, and the last thing they need is yet another prime talent wasted as a heel. Do they not understand that the best way to put asses in the seats are to have your best talents in favor of the crowd? Ugh. Anyways, I've praised Mr. Kennedy long enough in this article... the other wrestlers on this list might get jealous or something, so I'll make up for it by not putting up a pic of Kennedy. Happy?

...

...

...

I budged. I couldn't resist. And I don't even care that this page now looks awkward with another picture right below Mr. Kennedy's.

#1: John Morrison

This guy has sneaky mega-potential... I feel like a ten-year-old for phrasing it like that, but there's really no other way to say it. Just take a look at him and TELL me he's not athletic. The man clearly knows what he's doing in the ring, and the scary thing is that he's barely scratched the surface.

Most people compare him to a young Shawn Michaels, and I cannot find a single hole in that argument. I mean, did you guys see him superkick Michaels a couple months back on RAW? It was eerie how similar he looked like HBK back in his heyday!

After all that, I haven't even addressed just how easily Morrison can get the crowd riled up one way or the other. Truth be told, pairing this lad up with The Miz for the first part of each other's young careers was genious. And even better is that, although we didn't notice, Morrison was far below average on the mic when he first started out. But once he got his "reps" in on the critically-acclaimed Dirt Sheet, you could practically graph Morrison's steady improvement. This guy is not just going to be a star... he's going to be a hall-of-famer (you read that right) as long as he stays on track.

* * * * *

If, by some miracle of God you actually like my work, feel free to visit my site http://wwerumorsandrants.blogspot.com/ and check some of my work there.

You can also reach me on Twitter at twitter.com/NeilBhatia.

I can also be reached on Facebook - my name there is also Neil Bhatia.

The Greenhorns of Grappling

Are you guys enjoying the modern era of wrestling as much as I am?  The new faces we've seen in the last week have all the websites and blogs abuzzing with excitement.  It's been a while since the WWE has really pushed their ripe athletes to do significant things.  Whether it was because the company didn't feel they were quite ready yet, or because their main-eventers didn't want to step aside to share the spotlight... it doesn't matter anymore.  What DOES matter is that we're getting fresh talent interacting with some of our old favorites, and many people including myself have our happy tissues ready to go.  

Whoops... 

Was that too much information?  Probably.  But I truly have no other way to describe just how giddy I've become to my readers.  I hope I didn't lose one of you three by grossing you out like that. Anyhow, below are #'s 10-6 of my top ten list of blue-chippers whose potential (I hate that "P" word by the way) the WWE hasn't yet tapped. The top five of this list will be published in the coming days...

#10: Evan Bourne

This kid has talent, but there is little else behind that. He lacks charisma and his character is very vanilla,  but you can't deny that the little guy has a jaw-dropping set of moves.  Bourne is the definition of in-ring entertainment, and even though he can't cut a promo to save his life, his high-flying antics deserve a push - even if it is just on ECW. 

Some say he's the next Rey Mysterio.  I, however, liken him to a mix of Mysterio and a young Jeff Hardy - he clearly has the ability to give us many "HOLY SHIT" moments in the coming years, but he's very Shelton Benjamin-esque on the mic.  With time and opportunity that will likely change though.

#9: Kofi Kingston

Kofi Kingston already has a few notches on his belt: the Intercontinental and Tag-Team Championships.  The thing is, Kingston hasn't had much of a chance, if any, to show us what he's made of promo-wise.  Yes, he's had the occasional backstage interview, but all we got from those is that Kingston is a happy-go-lucky kind of guy... that about sums it up.  He certainly has a plethora of moves to wow crowds, but will the WWE give him the opportunity to develop his character?

#8: The Miz

The Miz can be hit-or-miss at times.  Back when he was paired up with John Morrison he could induce heat from the crowd in an instant.  But like I said, that was back when he was Morrison's tag-team partner.  

By himself, I can easily see The Miz either flourish or fail. We've seen some glimpses of success with him, but if you watched RAW like I did last week when he went on a John Cena-bashing tirade, the crowd didn't give a damn. I can't figure out if it was because The Miz was so bland or the crowd hated Cena, but I was shocked to say the least.  Being on the mic is actually Miz's strength, whereas I thought it was his in-ring work that needed some help. I'm hoping that a few weeks from now we can all look back on that promo and chalk it up to an off night.  One thing is for sure though - The Miz will certainly get more chances to bounce back... I mean he's a chick-magnet after all, right?

#7: Matt Hardy

As I've said in a column before, Matt Hardy's heel turn has been like wine for me: over time it's gotten better and better.  His promos have been very impressive and his character has come along well.  

But surprisingly I've found myself bored to death at times during his latest matches - something you don't usually expect from a Hardy brother. And with the reviews I read of Backlash that said his match with Jeff Hardy was also utterly disappointing,  I'm not sure what to think of him now.  He's very entertaining on the mic, but whatever is causing Hardy to stink up matches needs to go.  

#6: THE Brian Kendrick

This guy has it all.  He's great on the mic...  as a matter of fact he's one of the best in the business (feel free to bash me on that one... that doesn't change the fact that it's true!).  In the ring he's a more vicious version of a mix between Spike Dudley and Crash Holly - but more entertaining than that sounds.

Unfortunately he hasn't yet gotten the push he deserves.  Whispers from behind the curtain suggest that his attitude has held him down from becoming a big-timer.  Despite that though he's already been in a heavyweight title match, and if his attitude is the only thing holding him down I suspect he'll learn the ropes of the business soon enough and get himself in the good graces of team creative.

The OMGs, LOLs, and UGHs of the WWE

Today I'll be breaking down the OMG's, LOL's, and UGH's in the WWE. My apologies for those three categories, but I wanted to do something different from "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" or "Yay or Neigh". You understand don't you?

OMG to the WWE's push of MVP.  I have a nagging feeling that it's going to get cheesy with Sheri Shepherd worshiping the very ground MVP walks on, but I'm still happy nonetheless. This guy is great on the mic, has a good repertoire of moves in the ring, and continues to improve as time goes on.  I'm sure we're in store for some good things from this man in the future.

LOL to Jeff Hardy getting another title match.  I like the guy, but isn't his contract running out in a couple months?  Couldn't his spot in that four-man battle royal gone to somebody who wants to be wrestling in six months - say, John Morrison, or even the Great Khali?

MEH to this fiasco that is the Santina Marella.  I don't know why, but for some reason Vince McMahon is obsessed with midgets and cross-dressers.  The run-in Santina and Hornswaggle had earlier this week must have wet our WWE Chairman's pants.

OMG at the tease of CM Punk cashing in the MiTB.  I like the way we were given a taste of it, but then had it taken away at the last moment surprisingly by Umaga.  I hope the new CM Punk-Umaga rivalry gives us a couple decent matches, similar to the way we got good matches from the Samoan's last significant rivalry with Jeff Hardy.

LOL at The Miz ragging on John Cena Monday night.  Look, I'm always up for a good Cena-bashing rant or two, but The Miz could only fit in one decent zinger - something about saying how he couldn't see Cena since his movies weren't in theaters long enough - that was sandwiched between the crowd's indifference to him.  The Miz is a very raw talent that I'm afraid isn't ready to tangle with the big dogs.  I would've much rather seen this spot to Mr. Kennedy, who can cut great promos as a face or heel without breaking a sweat.

MEH at Vladimir Kozlov's ground-breaking announcement that he's not only better than everybody on ECW, but that he also looks forward to world domination.  Hmmm... sounds familiar... who was the last guy to say the exact same thing over and over again just a couple months ago?  Oh yea, it was Kozlov.  This guy stands no chance at being entertaining one way or the other.

OMG at all three brands' heavyweight titles switching at Backlash.  I didn't order the PPV myself, since I figured it would be crap.  But hey, any PPV with Cena and Triple H losing the belts, not to mention Triple H getting taken out on a stretcher, is a good PPV in my book.  Kudos to Randy Orton, Edge, and Cristian.

LOL at John Cena coming out after Batista won the #1 Contender spot.  Was I supposed to be impressed by that?  If he was strong enough to come out then, why couldn't he at least acknowledge The Miz earlier in the show?

MEH at  the Superstars show.  If the company barely gives a damn about this show and books mid-to-low-card talent, why should I?

Backlash Preview (Pt. Two)

I'm miserable at the moment from pollen allergies, so I'll just give you my heavy-hitters of Backlash for now. Provided I get better, I'll have the rest of the matches previewed on Sunday.

Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy

Matt Hardy's heel turn has been like wine for me - it sucked right out of the gate (especially since we were all disappointed when Cristian wasn't in that chairshot spot), but it really has gotten better as time has passed. Couple that with murmurs of Jeff Hardy's contract expiring and how he's declined extensions, and it looks like the older brother will come out triumphant yet again. But if that's the way it goes I don't foresee this match being a memorable one since I doubt these two will do anything we haven't seen since Wrestlemania XXV. They've already had a match involving ladders, a stretcher, and they had yet another face-off in the ring this week on Smackdown. As you can see, too many in-ring clashes between these two already has me doubting their PPV match.

Edge vs. John Cena

This is being billed as the be-all-end-all match between these two... somehow I highly doubt that. Anyways, in spite of the rumors of Edge needing time off I don't think he will lose this match. First off, he just came back a couple months ago after that break following his long program with Undertaker... remember that fantastic beard he sported for those couple days?!? Secondly, John Cena taking the title back to RAW wouldn't make sense. Nothing would come of Cena holding the title - the potential feuds that could stem from Edge taking the title back to Smackdown would far outnumber the likely feuds we'd see with Cena.

Also, with the WWE recently saying that the draft will take effect after the upcoming Backlash, RAW would then have two titles should Cena win. And considering that the crowd is behind both him and HHH (even though it's obvious the crowd isn't into Cena as much as the WWE thinks) , it wouldn't make sense if the deservedly popular CM Punk - who solved the issue with two titles on one show last year - swooped in later on and picked up one of their titles again just for the sake of giving back a title to Smackdown.

Randy Orton/Ted Dibiase/Cody Rhodes vs. Triple H/Batista/Shane McMahon

The biggest bust of Wrestlemania XXV was by far the main event. The promos heading into that match were fantastic, and the anger HHH felt each and every time Orton tormented him leading into that main event was palpable. When Triple H "trapped" Cody Rhodes in a steel cage that one RAW, I was going nuts over how good this rivalry had gotten. Truth be told, despite that annoying grabass crap that was going on with HHH, Shane McMahon and Vince McMahon, this first-class feud had been so enjoyable that I found myself rooting for both the champion and the challenger. It's too bad these two had a train wreck of a match unworthy of all they hype it had.

The WWE surely saw their precious WM XXV main event crumble to pieces, and has done whatever damage control they could do since. In came Batista to give this rivalry a twist it sorely needed, and once again despite all the man hugs Batista, HHH, and Shane-O-Mac have apparently been dying to give each other, this rivalry has life once again. Certainly the WWE has set this up nicely should HHH not want to get "embarrassed" and drop the title himself to Orton, what with the champion and his buddies not being able to co-exist at times. But this bout, no matter which way it goes, probably will be the last band aid applied on the proverbial bullet-wound that was the WM XXV main event.

Backlash Preview (Pt. One)

(Taker swoops in and saves the day)

Let's be honest... Wrestlemania XXV was saved by the Shawn Michaels-Undertaker match.  Hell, even Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat gave us a memorable moment or two.  But the PPV was lackluster all-around from the debachery that was the Divas Battle Royal, to the Money-In-the-Bank match which featured more lard than any of us cared for, to the main events that were shockingly disappointing.  And ever since that pathetic attempt at a PPV, the WWE has gone back to cover the tracks of shit they left behind on April 5th.  Rather than begin fresh new clashes in the new "season" after the annual draft, they've done their best to give us more notable matches to close the rivalries that were.  I can't blame them to be honest... they heard us voice our distaste from the havoc in Houston, and responded by giving the most notable busts of Wrestlemania XXV, in essence, a do-over.  

So how is the next PPV, Backlash, shaping up?  Stay tuned for my match-by-match breakdown in the coming days.

Wrestling and Poker...

I'm looking to slowly get away from writing about poker, a passion of mine that will likely make me broke one of these days, and shift into a full-time wrestling site (http://wwerumorsandrants.blogspot.com will be this site's new address). Creatively, I'm just burnt out with poker, and don't really have much to offer that genre since it has been extremely difficult to fit poker into my day-to-day schedule. It's really not a big deal though, as most of the stuff I wrote was more about my poker experience than anything theoretical, so certainly the poker community will barely notice the tiny hole I'm leaving behind.

Anyways, I don't know why I suddenly am focusing most of my creative energy into wrestling. Maybe it's that everything that lead into Wrestlemania XXV and the backlash afterward has got my creative juices flowing again, or maybe it's just that there is so much to analyze and discuss now in the universe that is the WWE. Whatever it is, it's caused me to make my mind up to specifically devote this page to wrestling. I won't necessarily delete my old posts - although as of this post my site has apparently been taken over by a silly search engine that I can only imagine will give my computer an STD if I use it (which has now been fixed) - because maybe I'll suddenly get the moxie to write about poker some time in the future and rant and rave about that once again. So if you were one to pay daily homage to one of my many Phil Ivey-slurping, Doyle Brunson-sputtering posts, have no fear... my posts will still be here. But new poker posts will be no more.

... for now that is...