Merry Christmas...

Merry Christmas everybody... to those of you overly-PC people who say "Happy Holidays", go fuck yourselves.

My Thoughts on Sheamus Winning the Strap...

Three words:

What. The. Fuck?

or even...

I. Miss. Cena?

or of course...

Hunter. Hearst. Helmsley.

but mostly...

It's. Over. Johnny.

It's All Tiger Woods...

First off, let me just preface this by saying the man should be able to bang anything that moves. He worked his ass off to become the billionaire athlete he now is, even sacrificing a normal childhood so that he could have a successful career in the game of golf. Financially, his family is set for the next hundred generations, and that is all because of him. So to say that his wife deserves half his assets is ludicrous. With or without her, Tiger would have been just as big, just as successful, and just as wealthy... so why the hell does she deserve a penny outside of child care? Just because she bore his kids? Just because Tiger got married to her? If she was just his girlfriend and not his wife, why does she not get a penny as the former, but apparently deserves to get money now as the latter?

Now, I am not excusing what Tiger did. Adultery is wrong, clearly, and he wasn't ready to commit to a meaningful relationship. However, his wife's actions shows that she isn't exactly little Ms. Perfect either.

First off, her mental stability is something that needs to be questioned, because judging from the evidence of that initial car crash that got this story rolling, she was beating, or at least trying to beat, the bloody hell out of Tiger with a golf club after already scratching up his face. Now I'm no lawyer, but if a man does so much as lay one finger on a woman in a domestic argument, his ass is heading to the clanker. Yet if a woman assaults her husband with a deadly weapon, she's somehow allowed to get away with it? Why is nobody talking about this?

Another issue I have with Elin Woods is that allegedly she is accepting money to remain by Tiger's side. Does that not make her any less a whore than the women Tiger hooked up with? On top of that she hired infamous divorce attorney Sorrell Trope, a lawyer known to break even the most apparently iron-clad prenups, and wants to file for divorce in California - essentially a 50/50 divorce state - rather than in their home state of Florida. Are these acts all of a woman who is even willing to give her marriage another shot, or of a vindictive bitch who just wants her money?

Maybe it's just the misogynist in me pointing these out, but there are faults on both ends here. I'm merely presenting them to you - not just to play the devil's advocate - but because, really, nobody is talking about these things that seem so obvious. It's just that I get so frustrated when I see a man taken to the cleaners when he makes a mistake, but if the woman makes a mistake, or does something that is clearly wrong, the media doesn't bat an eye.

In summary though, don't get married. No really... it's not worth it.

So What's Happening?

So there has been a lot going on since the last time I posted. Final exams took up much of my attention and energy since then, resulting in a lack of, well, any creative content on this site. For the sake of brevity, let's just dive right into the headlines and tackle them one by one in the coming days...

Eddie Fatu Dead at 36...

RIP Eddie Fatu, aka Umaga. My thoughts go out to both his friends and family.

Something is Better than Nothing...

People say that bad publicity is better than no publicity at all. Does the same adage ring true with blogs? Is bad content better than no content? It's actually an interesting topic that I'd love to waste spend time covering some other time, but not now.

You see, I'm in a very posting mood today, but not of the kind that requires much effort from me. So with that being said this is going to be of roughly the same quality that any random student's last-minute paper would be. If you're standing, there is no need to sit down as you read this, because I'm not blowing anybody's skirt up today.

Boy I know how to sell my work. Moving on...

The following are ideas I'm noodling at the moment for upcoming posts:

• 'The Concept of a Bankroll'
• Recent cash game experience
  
• 'Becoming too Efficient at Work'
• The upcoming holidays and what my plans are
  
• How a video game changed my life
• Sports gambling with a Seinfeld twist
• Some rant or the other about wrestling (to be fair, you knew these were coming)
  

Yea, like I told you, there wouldn't be much to today's post. I really can't imagine how to close out this post so...

That is all.

Over as Quickly as it Came...

So Thanksgiving weekend has already come to an end. The long weekend really blew by for me, as I was constantly doing... oh wait... nothing. Good times.

Thanksgiving night itself went really well, as I happily enjoyed my first ever real T-day turkey. My family ordered an 11-pound bird from Boston Market, and we also got a casserole of what might have been the greatest sweet potatoes I have ever had. The dinner itself went along okay, as my brother - who has become maybe the most annoying, hard-headed person I have ever come across - kept his inner-asshole in check.

The Friday and Saturday after the big day weren't especially eventful, as I hung out with some friends here and there. I certainly didn't go shopping on Black Friday... that mania that surrounds that day just fucking frustrates me. Plus, if I had to list everything that I hated, Black Friday encompasses some of the higher items on the list; that being crazy women, shopping, and big crowds. No thank you.

Oh, I also forgot to mention the part where I definitely didn't choose to go to my high school's five-year reunion. I remember high school, like most people do, as this really awkward time where I had some friends, but really didn't like most people at all. Plus, going to the reunion would've meant that I would have had to dress up, drive to DC, park in DC, and surround myself with far too many drunk and preppy douches. Again, no thanks. Maybe in another five years... maybe.

Coke or Pepsi?

Coca-Cola has, as long as I can remember, been my soft drink of choice. I always was fervently a Coke guy through and through, even going as far as besmirching the name of Pepsi whenever the opportunity arose. My hate for Pepsi was that strong... or at least it used to be.

In the last few months now, Pepsi has slowly been giving Coke a run for its money. And just this past weekend, it happened. I'm a Pepsi man now. Why, you must be wondering, did I make the switch? I really have no reason for it. The only logical answer I can offer up is that the Pepsi machine in my place of work is merely 20 steps away from my cubicle, while the Coke machine sits all the way on the other side of the building. Can I truly be so lazy that I would be willing to switch my allegiance from one brand to another merely for the sake of said level of convenience? An extra 300 step traverse I would need to take to reach another product is all it takes to sway me and my morals?

Answer: yes.

An Itch to Scratch...

So I've been playing quite a bit of poker lately. For the most part it's just been a freeroll here or a play chip tournament there, and actually even a low-stakes home game just recently, but it's all gone rather well. Now I do have a decent bankroll split up between my online account and cash-in-hand, but I really want to make this go-around count. I'm easing myself back into the grind that poker can become, and just dipping my toe in the water with, like I said, freerolls and microstakes cash games, is the way to go.

You see, over the last two to three years I've rarely played for a variety of issues, but now I think I have come to a point where, if I wanted, I could jump back into the thick of things and commit a lot hours to playing. Yet, every time I've done just that before I would be in over my head, and would forget/ignore even the most basic, fundamental concepts of play. My bankroll would then dwindle a bit, and just as soon as I started to play I would stop.

But now? I'm rereading game theory books I already read five years ago, and although I once went over all these basics, it's brand-new material all over again. This analytical side of the game I never really had a stable base for, and going over that material will be a good point to jump from so that I don't repeat mistakes I've made in the past.

The instinctual part of the game, what I believe is my strength, will come definitely back to me... it always does once I get on a regular schedule of play. Most poker players, hell even just people in general, claim that they can "read" people well and naturally have that instinct. Said people are full of horseshit, just for the record. In my case though, that actually rings pretty true. I'm not going to drop the cliche that I've always had a sixth sense for these kinds of things (I hate people who say that), but I do hone in on people's body language, voice level, and more - all of which you can learn a tremendous amount from - more than the average person.

Ideally I'd like to arrive at the point where I equally weigh this sixth sense I have (ugh) with my understanding of game theory for every decision, but that's a long ways away. If I had to put a number on it, I'd say that, at my peak as a poker player, I gave maybe 10-15% credence to game theory, and mostly relied on instinct for my decisions. So as you can see, I'm reaching for the sky here with regards to where I aim to go.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

So Modern Warfare 2, the sixth installment of the Call of Duty video game franchise is, well, only the best game evAr. But no really, it was definitely worth getting a new 360 for (and trashing my old broken system... Microsoft needs to seriously create a 'cash-for- XBox 360 clunkers' program, as I have never in my lifetime seen a company exhibit such disregard for all the short and long-term flaws in such a popular item)... but I digress.

Everything I could have possibly asked for from the game, I got. I can't fathom buying another title for months now, as my hands should be tied for a while. Goodbye Madden 09 and NBA 2k9, I hardly knew ye.

Bumps...

So it's been a little over a week since I last wrote here, and a number of interesting things have happened in the wrestling world since. Being that I am going to touch on these happenings, this would normally be called a "Quick Hits" column or something of that nature. That is rather lame though, and I'm one who likes to be contrarian just for the sake of being contrarian . So let's call this post a... hmmmmm... a "Quick Punch" column? No, a "Quick Bangs" column? Nah, that doesn't work either.

Since the ol' noggin' isn't working at the moment - it is Monday after all - let's refer to a trusty thesaurus for synonyms of the word "hit". That's right folks - nowhere else will you see a columnist openly refer to a thesaurus in the midst of his/her column, especially in search for synonyms of "hit" - a task so simple that third graders could assuredly do in a jiffy...

1. KO
2. bang
3. bash
4. beat
5. blitz
6. bump... I like bump.

So there, let's call this a "Quick Bumps" column. That's close enough to "hit", and hell, it kind of ties into wrestling, right?

...

Somebody?

...

Anybody?

Okay, moving on.

The big news of the week is that Hulk Hogan, along with Eric Bischoff, have signed with TNA. Normally this is something I'd be behind for a few reasons. First off, Hogan legitimizes TNA with some mainstream star power, and TNA's ratings will probably bump up whenever he debuts. And if TNA's ratings go up at all, the WWE has to take some notice and, in turn, step up their game. Competition is always a good thing for us fans. See: The Attitude Era

But a part of me wonders what will happen to the rising talent that have made a name for themselves over the last few months; namely Abyss, Matt Morgan, A.J. Styles, and Hernandez. Will these guys get put over Hogan if they had a match with him? Will Hogan take valuable time from them that, for the sake of the long run, could be put to better use to build young talent? Are we in for another version of the Main Event Mafia, only with Hogan starting up NWO again, and will take over half the show just as MEM did?

As great as it is for TNA to have added maybe the biggest name in wrestling history, they are operating on a slippery slope where much of their work could be erased in a week or two of Hogan's reign. It's a helluva gamble though, and it will be fun to see how it unfolds.

Another noteworthy event that took place in the wrestling world was Batista turning on his cartoon character of a friend Rey Mysterio. I am all for this, because if there is one thing I like of my heels it is that they look as imposing as Batista does. And in this regard, Batista has not failed me the least bit. When he first turned during Bragging Rights, telling Mysterio that he wanted to 'rip his head off', and then went from that semi-smirk to that deranged, I'm-going-to-tear-your-fucking-head-off look, I got chills. It was awesome.

A high profile heel turn like this has been needed for some time, and Batista, if anybody, was the right guy. His look, his move set, and his ability as of late to sway the crowd whatever way he wants (despite not being all that charismatic) is conducive to any heel.

Plus, for a minute there I thought, with all the over-the-top hugging and snuggling Rey and Dave had going before the turn, we were in store for a Billy and Chuck kind of storyline. And not that there's anything wrong with that, but considering the size difference between the two, one would think Rey could only take so much of Batista's dick. That storyline just wouldn't have been believable now that I think about it. Maybe now though, Mysterio and Evan Bourne can go at it... secretly I've always been rooting for those two anyways.

Old gimmicks are old. I don't know about you, but seeing unprepared weekly guest hosts on Monday Night RAW have been embarrassing to me as a wrestling fan. I'd venture to guess that at least half of them, if not more, came in with little-to-no prep, and went on to spit in our faces by mispronouncing names and ruining segments (I will admit "Summerfest" was a gem though).

You might say that it was already a freak show before, but ever since the guest host gimmick, RAW has truly transformed itself into a pathetic gimmick yearning for mainstream attention. I can only count on one hand how many good hosts we have had (Shaq, Bob Barker, Snoop Dog, and that's fucking it) through the months, yet it seems like S.T.U.P.I.D. is going to keep this weekly trainwreck going, all in the name of an extra tenth of a point or two in the Nielsen ratings. No mispronunciations that embarrass the company are going to stop the madman from putting on whichever celebrity or flavor of the month wants to push their product. I swear to you, if RAW is a catastrophe tonight, it's coming off my DVR scheduled recordings. I'm really tired of wasting my time with it. /end rant

One more thing I'd like to mention before I end this... Ken Anderson, what happened to you? After S.T.U.P.I.D. fired you, you entertained your fans for a couple of months with weekly Youtube sketches that, although only a couple minutes in length, allowed us to get our weekly "fix" of your talent. When you put an end to those episodes, which was roughly around the same time your no-compete clause with the WWE expired, we all expected your grand return to the ring. After all, we have only seen you wrestling on television just once in eleven months: eight months out with that injury, and three months of the no-compete clause. Yet now we're fast approaching a month that you have yet to sign anywhere after being eligible; when really, there is only one place to sign: TNA.

So what's with the wait? Did I not obsess and praise over you enough? I sincerely doubt that. I mean after all, I had dreams where you and I... nevermind.

The end.

Things Ain't Changing...

It's starting to sound like I'm somebody who just likes to complain for the sake of it, but really I'm not. In general I am a positive person who sees more good than bad in things. It's just the WWE, really, that I have issues with these days, as it really looks like nothing is changing in that damn company.

Yes, I occassionally hear, as you do, that S.T.U.P.I.D. went off on somebody backstage about how they haven't built up any stars, and maybe that does mean something for that day that Vince blows up. Yet, this past Sunday on Bragging Rights - yet another gimmicky PPV I will never buy - we saw who win the heavyweight titles? John Cena and The Undertaker. Like we've never seen that before. Only God and SyFy nerds who desperately pray that Battlestar Galactica comes back as they sob in their mom's attic know... wait, where was I going again? Oh yea - nobody knows, or gives a fuck who the ECW Champion is, so that's not worth mentioning. But I digress...

What comes of Cena holding the title? Well... I got nothing. It was revealed this past RAW that the champ will be defending his belt against Triple H and Shawn Michaels in a triple threat match next PPV, but what good does that do? Maybe, just maybe, the WWE will finally do us a favor and end DX once and for all? Doubtful. Especially considering the merchandise that sorry-excuse-for-its-former-self tag team moves. But even if that were to happen, is that something we want to see? Not I, because Triple H and Shawn Michaels get moved back into singles roles - and as much as I can't stand DX anymore, I'd rather them stay together and ruin just one or two segments a night rather than see the two go their separate ways and ruin half the show each week.

It's not really that I have an issue with Cena actually holding the title. I get it - he's the company man, and he who sucks S.T.U.P.I.D.'s wang gets the strap put on em every few months. But the way the company has a knack for putting Cena in less-than-stellar feuds that ultimately end in Cena ripping open his shirt to show the world he is, in fact, Superman in the flesh, gets old. And all the while as he does this, his convincing victories where he, for the millionth time, triumphs all odds, negates any progress his antagonists has made the last few months [see: The Miz (2009), Shawn Michaels (2007), Legacy (2009), The Big Show (numerous times), etc].

As for the Undertaker, let me just put it like this - the man has only been able to put on a good match just a handful of times each year. His gimmick is stale, and frankly, over-the-top corny. I will give him all the props in the world though for his legendary feats, but if I have to sit through another promo which he ends with "Rest In Peace", I will be playing Russian Roulette by myself with a fully loaded pistol.

That is all.

Something I'm Currently Obsessed With (Pt. 1)

Just a cool vid I thought I'd pass along. Watched it maybe 20 times already.

Shane McMahon...

So it looks like Shane McMahon resigned from the WWE. Obviously us nostalgic bunch got a rod every time Shane O' Mac graced us with his presence on WWE programming, as it almost always made for good entertainment, so it's definitely sad to see him go.

But can you honestly say you didn't see this coming? For years now, all indicators have pointed towards Stephanie taking over the WWE whenever S.T.U.P.I.D. stepped down. Shane's fresh vision for the WWE, which heavily leaned towards, uhhhhhh, that thing called wrestling, greatly differed from the cheap-laughs-crap that S.T.U.P.I.D., S.T.U.P.I.D.'s princess, and the man taxing S.T.U.P.I.D.'s princess all envisioned. God what I would give to be in Lavesque's shoes. Can you imagine the things he does to her? Better yet, can you imagine the things she... sorry, I'm getting off-topic. Let's move on.

I know it's become a clichè to say that the WWE is heading down the tubes - that's been beaten to death, and giving you guys the 10 billionth-and-first article on that subject would be torture for both you and me. What hasn't been said though is that Shane was one of the few who had a long-term plan and had some influence to boot. No I didn't think he wasn't ever going to bring back the WWE to a respectable level all by his lonesome... we'll probably never have an era like that again. But just knowing that somebody back there, well, somebody who was occasionally back there and wasn't one of S.T.U.P.I.D.'s lackeys has always been good enough for me. And now, we have one less of those guys.

We now return to your regularly-scheduled dick-sucking, team creative. Go nuts on those shriveled... nah, too easy.

Hmmmm

Whatever happened to the good ol' days where, with a college course, you could just show up for exams and any other important days and do just fine? Since when did we all need to be babied and have our hand held through each and every class?

Just sayin...

XHeadlines...

So it seems my gig as a columnist at XHeadlines has come to a close. I really couldn't explain why it ended even if I tried, because I don't know myself to be quite honest. All I can say is that it did indeed end.

It's weird because I thought I had somewhat of a good thing going with Jacob Spades, the webmaster of the site: we were shuckin and jivin in our somewhat regular podcasts, and I really had a vested interest in the growth of that site, bouncing ideas for it off him whenever we spoke on the phone. I mean, I know I wasn't technically doing much outside of the columns and the few podcasts I was in, but I did still feel like a bigger part of the site.

Anyways, I left a message for Jacob a couple days ago... and no response yet. I guess it's no different than any of the other 8-10 times I tried to contact him, but something as important as this, at least in my mind, I thought would have elicited some semblance of a response. Who knows... maybe the guy is just going through some tough times and would rather not deal with this at the moment, or maybe I just wasn't as integral a part of their big-picture as I thought I was. The evidence towards the latter certainly indicates as much.

A Radio Show of Note...

Many of us listen to radio to help pass the time as we work our asses off in our little cubicles. I personally was fortunate enough to stumble across WJFK about 18 months ago while searching for new music. Almost instantly I got hooked to the entire lineup of shows, from The Junkies in the morning through The Mike O'Meara show (previously The Don and Mike Show) during the afternoon drive back home. Both shows brought different things to the table, but it was the show sandwiched between those shows, The Big O and Dukes Show, that really did it for me.

These guys (Oscar Santana, Chad Dukes, and Matt Cahill) weren't your standard corny DJ's who did the whole tired, but proven-to-work shock jock kinda stuff. They were real people who were just legitimately funny in their own right, and they constantly interacted with listeners either by taking as many calls during the show as possible, keeping in touch on Facebook, hanging out at local fast-food joints, or hosting events of all kinds. Sadly, the station became a victim of the sports-talk fad that has all but killed free talk radio, and the show was cancelled.

Inevitably they'll have another run on some kind of satellite/HD radio station, but for those of us who are anxiously awaiting their return, below is a video put together of some of the many great moments on the show. Enjoy.

NBA Referees Let Go

"The NBA announced Friday that it would train replacement officials after failing to reach an agreement on a new contract with its referees union."

Best thing to happen to the NBA in a while. I don't know how an entire group of senior citizens managed to hang onto jobs that require quick reflexes, perfect vision, and quick thinking, for so long. This group of idiots have ruined the NBA for, oh, 20 years now - ruining a perfecting good basketball game by inserting themselves in the limelight whenever they needed attention.

Good riddance.

Grounded Greenhorns

Back in May I bestowed upon you an epic two-part piece on the up-and-comers of the WWE titled "The Greenhorns of Grappling". Mass hysteria ensued after it was published, and rightfully so. You may be wondering why I'm tooting my own horn considering I was not 100% accurate regarding how each of the wrestlers would fare in the months following that column. But really, if any of you claim you knew how it would turn out for each wrestler all along, you're lying to yourself you jerks.

All kidding aside, I look back on the two-parter and I can't help but wonder what I was thinking at the time. Did I really call Matt Hardy a "greenhorn"? Why wasn't Dolph Ziggler in the column? And MVP in the top 3? Really? I don't know, maybe I was heavily under the influence of [insert type of alcohol/drug here, your guess is as good as mine], or maybe my own personal preferences of wrestlers got in the way.

And look, even if I was wrong about half the people on the list, I stand by my assertion that each and every one of those guys still has a chance to make something of themselves in the industry. But for whatever reason, they're either no longer employed by a major wrestling company, no longer getting a push that makes sense, or they just couldn't put the fucking booze down and stop their pot-belly from growing (I'm looking at you Matt Hardy).

So let's do this. You thought that last two-parter on the Greenhorns of Grappling was epic?

(crickets)

...


(moar crickets)

...


(now-bored crickets)

No? Just me? Well fuck.

Either way, brace yourselves for an actually-epic ten-parter on the Grounded Greenhorns of Grappling, a series dedicated to each wrestler of note in my original two-part column. Not only will we be discussing what could have been and what still could be, but also what has gone wrong, how it went wrong, and most importantly, why it went wrong.

Now now, for those of you who have just about had it with greenhorns/schmeenhorns, fear not... this won't be the only thing I'll be writing here in the coming weeks. Intertwined with this series will also be my not-so-regular posts! And soon enough I'm also hoping to finally get a hold of XHeadlines' webmaster (HI JACOB SPADES!!! CALL ME?!?!?), to get back to those podcasts we were once knocking out of the park.

And now I've painted myself into a corner - I really can't come up with an ending other than the cliche'd "Stay tuned". So, ummmmm...

I'm Ron Burgandy. Go fuck yourself San Diego.

Attention Whores

Up to this day during my time here on the planet, I have generally led a calm, peaceful lifestyle. I've only gotten into fisticuffs with another person one time... and even then I was maybe 10 or 11 years old, so that doesn't really count. Very rarely do things truly get me angry nowadays, and to some degree that can be both an asset and a flaw of mine depending on the situation. But one of the few things that does really bother me and evoke a strong emotion is an attention whore.

For those of you not familiar with the term, look no further than Bret Favre of the Minnesota Vikings as an example. This man, no matter how you guys want to put it, had ESPN wrapped around his fucking finger as every uptight sports anchor with god-knows-what shoved up his/her already-puckered asshole awaits his next press conference or public statement. For fuck's sake, he even had Rachel Nicols in front of one of his homes, reporting on how he just mowed his own grass!

No 40-year-old quarterback coming off an elbow injury deserves attention of this magnitude, but you know Favre basks in this crap, thinking to himself "They never learn... same shit year after year". Anyways, the reason I'm bringing Favre up, albeit maybe a week too late, is because all the coverage surrounding him had me thinking about some of the top attention whores in wrestling... and let me let you in on a little secret - there are plenty of em!

As much as I love the guy, Chris Jericho may be the biggest media whore around. I don't know what it was that so radically changed him during his recent hiatus from wrestling, but the guy not only came out on the other end of it attaching his face to every garbage VH1 "Top x" lists, but he came out thinking his band - for some reason - was freaking U2. Now, I'm not knocking his wrestling talents at all - for the record he's #2 on my list of top assets in the WWE. But if I ever have to put up with him watch him Tweet away like an idiot (oh wait...), or worse yet, promote his band on RAW again, I may have to swallow a gun barrel and call it a life.

Another attention whore who hogs the WWE limelight is the Schizophrenic Top-dog Unable to Put together Impressive Disputes. That's right ladies and gentlemen, the one and only S.T.U.P.I.D.!!! Yes, I know part of his character is to be theatrical and over-the-top, but when this fool makes a mockery of wrestling by flexing at the front and center of shows (see: The Stan Kroenke segment, any of the Million Dollar Giveaway segments, etc) just so he can entertain him and only himself, the entire product suffers. Yes, we get it Vince, the WWE wouldn't be the same without you... it would be better! But I won't hit you guys with that yet again... that has been discussed ad nauseum throughout my columns.

John Cena sounds like the perfect wrestler: hard work ethic, eats and breathes the WWE, and appeals to many different demographics. The thing is though, I can see right through him (and no, that's not me making a fucking hacky pun of Cena's catch phrase). This guy, although he doesn't win as much as he used to, definitely carries a big stick behind the scenes and uses his position as Vince's but-buddy to his advantage.

It was just recently made public knowledge that when he first came into the WWE he saw a stale product. So what did he do about it? After solidifying himself as the company man of all company mans, he went to Vince and said that the WWE was so stale that the product needed to become PG. Words... cannot describe... my anger... with that statement. I pray (and I'm not one for praying) that you all see the irony in that. If not, you're a lost cause. Ultimately, I think Cena is probably good for the WWE at the moment, but his reputation is that of a class-act professional... I see him more as a Triple H-type behind the scenes, but that's just me.

Speak of the devil, here's the biggest attention whore the WWE has ever seen... Triple H! That's right! The man who participated in the most disappointing main event in Wrestlemania history! The man who, by himself, built a glass ceiling for the entireRAW roster! The man who can't take it when he doesn't have a title at least every four months! The man who inspired the Edge-Vicky Guerrero storyline! Had enough? Yea me too.

My Top Five Most Annoying Athletes of our Generation

Enjoy...

1. Bret Favre

2. Terrell Owens

3. Chad Johnson

4. LeBron James

5. LaDainian Tomlinson

(subject to change)

David Ortiz Tested Positive...

Let's just throw Cal Ripken and Ken Griffey into the steroid mix and call it an era.

Ugh...

A coworker had her grandson brought in just a minute ago. Like clockwork, every woman in the office crowded around the baby and spoke in that annoying voice. Their uteruses were practically glowing.

Night of Champions Preview

I've never ordered this PPV in my life, and tonight will be no different. There tends to be a lot of hype heading into this one what with all the titles being on line. But from what I remember, there generally aren't too many titles that change hands this night, which is why the WWE will never get my 50 bucks in the month of July.

For those of you who agree with me and never order this gimmicky PPV, have no fear; I have all the results right here. That's right... I'm so freaking confident in my predictions, I'm calling them the RESULTS!

WWE Women’s Championship
- Michelle McCool (c) vs. Melina

No matter how good Melina is, this match will be ruined by McCool, who I now liken to being so boring that she will henceforth be known as the female Great Khali. She can look as hot as she wants (on the last Smackdown she looked especially bang-able), but she'll never get a wrestling stamp of approval from me. Anyways, the female Great Khali is taking this down, and only because The Undertaker, her rumored boyfriend at the moment, probably thinks like she needs another significant reign as champion to further destroy the Women's division.

Pick - the female Great Khali

WWE Divas Championship
- Maryse (c) vs. Mickie James

Speaking of being "especially bang-able", Maryse has grown in front of our very eyes. She has gotten to the point that I believe she plays her character so well that I wouldn't be surprised the least bit if she really were a gloating, catty, egomaniacal Diva. Anyways, both Maryse and James are at the top of a very short list of entertaining Diva wrestlers, and this match won't let anybody down. I expect James to win the strap, and only because that would be the best possible result in order to continue this surprisingly entertaining rivalry.

Pick - Mickie James

WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match
- Chris Jericho & ? (c’s) vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase

Jericho hinted at his potential tag-team partner on Twitter, saying that his partner will "be EVIL". My guess is that Kane will be his partner, and my prediction is that Jericho and Kane won't relinquish their belts. I see no reason for Rhodes and DiBiase to win the titles, other than to do the whole clichéd "every member of this faction (Legacy) has gold". Plus, having Jericho hold on to the belts allows for him to make an appearance on any brand, which allows for further flexibility in top-card wrestling matchups.

Pick: Chris Jericho and ?

WWE United States Championship – Six Pack Challenge
- Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Big Show vs. MVP vs. Carlito vs. Jack Swagger vs. The Miz

Every once in a while the WWE runs out of things to do with much of their talent. And for some strange reason every time this happens, the powers that be lazily deem it ok to have, what I like to call, A Storyline-Avoiding Clusterfuck. That would be this. One would think, judging from all the positive reactions that MVP and Swagger got from their rivalry, that it would be ok to let them continue their program and build it up to the point where they deserve their own PPV match, but no... creative gets too lazy. The same even goes for Kingston and Big Show. Anyways, I'm just ranting now, but I will say that this match has a chance to steal the show; and the person coming out on top will be The Big Show.

Pick - The Big Show

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match
- Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

As much as I hate to say it, Ziggler has impressed the hell out of me. I actually look forward to his matches, which is far from what I felt about him when he first came along. Anyhow, considering Jeff Hardy is leaving Smackdown soon, the title needs to go to Ziggler to help build his character and to help fill that void at the top. Mysterio retaining will do nothing for the WWE.

Pick - Dolph Ziggler

ECW Championship Match
- Tommy Dreamer (c) vs. Christian

I have a confession... I haven't watched ECW in a month. I've been too busy, ummmm, picking my nose? Playing video games? Staring at the ceiling? The point is, ever since ECW got raped of all their talent in that lame Trump trade, the program hasn't been worthy of my clearly-precious time. And with that, I'm flipping a coin for this match. Heads - Dreamer, and Tails - Christian... ... ... ... ... Tails! Christian wins! Christian wins!

Pick - Christian

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match
- CM Punk (c) vs. Jeff Hardy

This one is easy. With Hardy leaving as soon as his contract expires, there is zero chance he will win. I expect Punk to somehow weasel his way out of this one and retain. To be honest, with how impressive Punk been as of his heel turn, he deserves it.

Pick - CM Punk

WWE Championship – Triple Threat Match
- Randy Orton (c) vs. Triple H vs. John Cena

I get the feeling we've been here before... hmmmmmm. Wasn't this one of the main evens a couple Wrestlemania's ago? Hmmmmmm. And why do I want to watch this even again? Have any of these three been anything but disappointing this whole last year? Am I turning into one of those annoying people who make points by asking questions?

Pick - John Cena

Mr. Kennedy's Moniker

(In light of Ken Anderson's recent post on 'The Heyman Hustle', I almost canceled out this article altogether. Unfortunately, I've come down with a bad case of writer's block, and this is really the best I have to offer. Ugh, I'm not selling this article to you, the reader, very well am I? I'll shut my mouth now...)

Ladies and gentlemen... from Burke, Virginia... Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... BHATIAAAAAAA......

...

...

...

BHATIAAAAA!

Welcome back to this edition of Neil's Highlight Reel. I was ---> <--- close to never returning from my cruise and becoming an illegal immigrant in the beautiful city of Freeport, Bahamas. But foreign customs outwitted me yet again - damn those party-poopers. So here I am, ready to get back into it.

It has been reported that Mr. Anderson aka Mr. Kennedy got back into ring with Umaga just a little while ago... unfortunately it was all for a promotion outside of the WWE, but it's all gravy. Anyhow, a video that surfaced on Youtube revealed that Mr. Kennedy was, at least for that one night, granted the right to use the name Mr. Kennedy, as he used that moniker the same way he always has during his match intro. This video made me pitch a tent in my pants had me excited because I thought that maybe, just maybe, S.T.U.P.I.D. finally lightened up (check my previous articles if you don't get that acronym) and let Ken Anderson have the name back. But another video I found shortly after this one conflicted with that, as seemingly before the match during an autograph session, my dreamy soul mate favorite wrestler claimed he was now to be known by his real name, Mr. Anderson.

So what am I, a 14-year-old-fangirl-stuck-in-the-body-of-a-23-year-old-male, supposed to think? To which name will my hero be returning with in just over a month? Here are the possibilities:

Sr. Kennedy - Only in countries where the lawns stay mowed... just kidding! God it's fun to be brown + racist... it's a good way to keep you all on your toes. Besides, I'm 100% sure the Webmaster for this site wet his pants when he read that, and any obscene sayings that can potentially wet the webmaster's pants are alright in my book.

Mr. Kennedy-Kennedy - The only issue I can see with this is, when ring announcers, play-by-play guys, backstage interviewers, and other wrestlers have to say the name themselves, it won't sound good since they'll all be saying it twice. And considering Mr. Kennedy is the only person who should be saying the name so nice it needs to be said twice, it would lose its je ne sais quois.

Mr. Kenedy - No I'm not retarded... I know that is an 'n' short, and your reaction to that name is exactly why this version wouldn't work in the least. It looks awful, and selling merchandise with this moniker on it would be a disaster.

Mr. Anderson - Don't do it Ken. Don't do it! The name "Mr. Anderson" only belongs in green-screen movies with Keanu Reeve's lifeless face!

Mr. Kenneday - This is the one. It can be pronounced exactly as it was in the WWE by fans and wrestlers alike, plus it doesn't look bad at all on paper. Sadly, it doesn't look like Ken will be keeping any form of Mr. Kennedy, but I'll keep my fingers crossed just in case.

Top Five Michael Jackson Songs (Updated)

Pretty simple post here...

UPDATE: I slept on Dirty Diana... god what a song.

1. Dirty Diana (replacing Man in the Mirror, which was at #5)
2. Billy Jean
3. Beat It
4. Don't Stop Till You Get Enough
5. Thriller


RIP Michael.

The Donald's Point?

What is this?!? THREE POSTS FOR EACH OF THE LAST THREE DAYS IN A ROW?!? Don't get used to it... I fully intend to eventually ditch this site and just watch Transformers 2 every day for the rest of my remaining life so I can see Megan Fox prance around in slow-motion while she wears those wonderful short-shorts. And yes, I would die a happy man if that happened.

(sidebar: To truly exhibit my distaste for Vince McMahon, from here on out I will no longer refer to that man by his name. Henceforth, he will be known as the Schizophrenic Top-dog Unable to Put together Impressive Disputes... aka S.T.U.P.I.D. I'm going to try it out and see if it works... if you have any suggestions, let me know.)

Two weeks ago we all could not wait for the big announcement S.T.U.P.I.D. (yea, that works) claimed he had in store for us on the 6/15 edition of Monday Night RAW. Naturally, since that particular episode was being held in North Carolina, and since rumor had it that Ric Flair - a revered man in the same state - was foaming at the mouth in anticipation of getting back into the ring, we fans thought we were putting two and two together by figuring that Flair would be named GM of RAW. How wrong we were.

S.T.U.P.I.D. stunned us all when he announced he was (kayfabe) selling the Monday night show off to, of all people, Donald Trump. Clearly S.T.U.P.I.D. went all Alzheimer's on us and forgot that he used Trump just a couple Wrestlemanias ago, but I guess that's neither here nor there now. Anyways, after that revelation came to light the internet was flooded with every schmo's opinion on what possibilities could come of this. Some suggested that this was the lead-in to SummerSlam. Others thought this was just a ratings ploy that would span only a couple weeks, maybe a month. Even a Smackdown (ran by S.T.U.P.I.D.) vs. Raw (ran by Trump) storyline was suggested on one site. But despite my disgust for Trump and his tired schtick - which I've already ranted about on one of the XHeadlines radio shows - I have to admit that the possibilities for this situation were numerous.

But one week later in the same surprising fashion, S.T.U.P.I.D. bought back RAW from Trump in what I can only call one of the most artificial segments I've ever watched. I was shocked. And no, not because we had witnessed ownership change hands on RAW for the second consecutive week. I was shocked because I thought the WWE had set themselves up for a compelling couple of weeks open to mainstream media attention by bringing The Donald in, but they threw that opportunity on the ground and took a big giant "poopy" on it... John Cena style.

Now a full business week after the trainwreck, the short, succinct "power struggle" over RAW still blows my mind. I can't even wrap my head around why the WWE would bother bringing in such a big name if the person would only be around for a short time. Did the WWE think that we'd be so distracted by that dead cat on Trump's head that we wouldn't realize how manic the last few weeks had been?

It's possible that this was just a trial run to see if they could use Trump or a person of similar stature down the road - which an official WWE press release sort of confirmed when it said that there remained a chance of the business mogul and S.T.U.P.I.D. could collide yet again. Sadly (sense the sarcasm?), I can't envision yet another scenario where Trump re-enters the WWE Universe. But hey, I was saying the exact same thing last time he showed his ugly mug.

Obviously, short-term ratings - the simplest reason of them all - could be the explanation behind Trump's hello/goodbye. Ratings spiked from the normal range of RAW's 3.1 - 3.5 up above 4.0. Granted, some of that may be due to the ad-free aspect of that RAW, but if it were quantifiable I'd bet that the attention Trump got was more responsible for that bump than the missing commercials. On top of that, the WWE's upcoming pay-per-view "The Bash" has as much momentum heading into it as the next Charlie Haas match. Trump may have made his appearance solely to boost interest in the PPV even though, at the moment, looks like he'll have nothing to do with it.

If I had to take a guess though, my explanation behind this whole ordeal has more to do with the kayfabe storyline. One thing I noticed is that the move turned the fans on S.T.U.P.I.D. in a big way, since he went as far as saying that the fans didn't deserve all the things Trump was doing for them (which obviously garnered a strong negative fan reaction). I would pat myself on the back for solving this puzzle, but shortly after Vince "bought back" RAW he put Randy Orton in a Three Stages of Hell title match against none other than the wrestler currently laying the wood to his daughter (a move the fans cheered). That sorta throws my whole theory behind Trump off, but hey, if they WWE blatantly ignores character history amongst their wrestlers, then I can conveniently ignore what I want.

I have to say though - turning S.T.U.P.I.D.'s character around, if that is indeed what creative was going for, makes for some juicy television in the coming months. We could have a heel GM hire as soon as the next RAW (William Regal anybody?). Vince could even turn on HHH, although that wouldn't make any sense at all. A babyface could get a big push by standing up to S.T.U.P.I.D. and his potential heel character down the road (like MVP's now-rotting corpse). Sadly that babyface could've been (of course) Mr. Kennedy, and Kennedy vs. S.T.U.P.I.D. would have had the chance to push the WWE to a new level, but nooooooooooo... S.T.U.P.I.D. had to be a little pissant and fire him. Oh well.

There I go, off on a tangent again... ladies and gentlemen, your daily Mr. Kennedy rant! On that note, I'm out. My brain is about to explode.

Remembering The King of Pop

It is the rarest of occasions for my mom and I to sit down and watch, of all things, CNN. I can count on just my two hands the few times we've glared at the TV to watch as a headlining story unfolded... The OJ Simpson verdict, 9/11, the DC sniper, and most recently, the Virginia Tech tragedy. Never before has a celebrity death single-handedly silenced the entire household. But your death, pardon my phrasing, did the trick.

For my parents you were the only English music worth listening to when they first immigrated to the US many years ago. And even to this day, the only time my mother tolerates any non-native music is yours! Your albums were probably the first piece of pop culture they sampled, and although they never fully immersed themselves into American music, you did give them a little something they enjoyed.

I, on the other hand, never got to see you in person. Hell, I've never seen any musical acts in person... not one! But God knows if I had the chance to see you live, I would've done anything to do so. And even though I was but a wee little boy when you became the most recognizable face on the planet, I've come to immensely appreciate your legacy now - two decades after your dominance at the top of the charts.

If anything, you can see, just within the confines of my own tiny family, how important you were. Maybe you weren't a friend or family member to us, but you were one of the rare and few things my family and I shared.

I have to admit that, while CNN was still gathering all the details of the situation, I was holding on to some hope yet. Officially the news channels hadn't confirmed your death, and although all signs pointed towards what we now know as the truth, I still was grasping onto the off-chance that you were alive. But with the confirmation coming merely minutes after I turned on the TV, my heart sunk just a little.

Now, though, is the time to remember just what you meant to the world. You were the King of Pop. A singer. A dancer. A performer. An icon. But most of all, you were the voice of many generations - both past and present, and will remain so for the generations to come.

RIP Michael Jackson.

Megan Fox

Off to see Megan Fox and the supposedly-terrible Transformers 2... I think she'll be worth the price of admission though.

Post-Haste

"Patience is the companion of wisdom."

My mind is blown when I see how often the WWE gets in its own way. I don't know, maybe it has to do with the pussification of today's world thanks to all the hoopla and overreaction to Janet Jackson's boob making that ever-so-infamous appearance at the Super Bowl. Certainly that moment forever changed the things we see and hear through today's entertainment outlets, but that can't be the sole reason as to why the WWE has become a shred of its former self. When I look back at all the god-awful mistakes the WWE has made, and not throughout time but just in the last year or two alone, there is an underlying commonality that rears its ugly head in every disaster-of-a-decision I can recall: the lack of patience.

The biggest mistake the WWE ever committed (and I know that phrase is used a lot, particularly in this column, but here it applies) was to seperate the brands into two (now three) different entities. At the time, of course it made sense to split everybody up to give more wrestlers the chance to make a name for themselves. With all the talent they acquired through the buyout of the WCW, Vince McMahon saw that he was, more than ever before, flooded with talent. But what the WWE failed to realize was that the faces of the company who had carried them during that time, namely The Rock and Hulk Hogan, weren't going to be there all that much longer. Had Vince had the foresight to see that his precious few stars had their WWE days numbered, I truly believe we wouldn't have seen the split.

The can of worms we fans were handed when Mike Adamle was named the RAW General Manager a little while back was one of the most embarrassing moments in the WWE's history. By FAR, Adamle was already the worst announcer ever hired by the company, yet for some outlandish reason Vince thought he could pull it off as a GM? And for his flagship program?!? Did he not see Adamle booed every time Adamle walked to his chair before shows? And, call me crazy, but I wasn't the only one who knew Adamle's constant stammering was far from being an act, was I? We all knew he was not anywhere close to being ready for TV, yet somehow he was "promoted" within the company - something that proverbial heads should have rolled for.

And what about Mr. Kennedy's firing? (you knew this was coming, so stop pretending you're upset with me) Of course I know that Kennedy dealt with injury problems at the most inopportune of times, but I can't begin to comprehend why this man - somebody who everybody knows is fully capable of being a star in the company - was released just because he was a bit stiff in the ring coming off an eight-month layoff.

Sorry, but it confuses me that they let him go and nobody backstage objected in the least while total wastes of space like Kane, who the creative team has admitted that they have no ideas for, remain on the roster. I guess team creative can't get over the fact that Kennedy, with whom they could have gone many directions creatively, needed to shake off a little ring-rust while nobodies like Kane, Goldust, Hornswaggle, Mike Knox, Jamie Noble, Festus, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Sim Snuka, Charlie Haas, Curt Hawkins, The Great Khali, Kung Fu Naki, R-Truth, Jimmy Wang Yang, and every last one of the WWE Divas (except Maryse... she can stick around) remain on the roster? That's unacceptable... even by what I thought used to be the WWE's standards.

Another thing I cannot get over is how many times the World Heavyweight Championship exchanges hands. By my count, the belt has been passed on from one wrestler to another 13 times in the last 15 months! If the WWE gives a lick about how prestigious this belt should be, then they need to make up their god damn minds and stop putting the title on whoever they think is the flavor of the month. Even though Smackdown has been the show that has seperated itself from the rest of the pack in every which way, I'm not surprised in the least bit that it has the reputation within the company of being the "B" show. Fortunately, for the time being it looks like CM Punk is going to get a longer title reign than his previous one since creative is now dead-set on having him turning heel. As much of a mistake I think that is -although I will admit it's something fresh to watch - establishing him as a heel will require a solid chunk of time with him as the champion (ideally).

Neil the Nervous Nelly

As you guys know, I'm amongst many fine columnists at XHeadlines.com. Everybody brings different things to the table for that site, and, in general, I do my best to provide quality content in each of my columns. Each "piece" generally takes me 3-4 hours to complete what with revisions, re-revisions, and re-re-revisions - for the most part I'm happy with my finished product. But tonight, I will be trying my hand at something different: podcasts.

There is no such thing as revisions or do-overs with these, and considering I have the unfortunate reputation for stuttering and stammering my way through phone conversations, I'm pretty damn nervous (in case the title of this didn't give that way) with what I'm going to be doing in just a couple minutes. Maybe I wouldn't be as nervous as I am now if I had time to prep for the show beforehand, but life rudely interrupted most of my day (just kidding mommy!).

Anyhow, wish me luck. I'll probably still fuck this thing up one way or the other, but maybe with your well wishes I'll fuck up less.

The WWE and Sin City

Reintegrating myself into society is always a struggle when coming back from Vegas, where days and nights mesh together as you pass the time drinking and gambling hours on end. That first Monday morning back - which is when I’m writing this now - is always the worst. Sleep is really hard to come by the Sunday night before (I got zero last night), and by one o’clock the next day I can think of nothing else but getting back home and crashing on my bed to recoup some of the many Z’s I’d lost. Vegas is good for you in a way though… most of the things you can make do without, you do. The internet is usually the first thing people give up, and as shown above, oversleeping would most definitely be the second sacrifice. But for me though, it really surprised me how bothered I was that I missed out on a whole week’s worth of WWE television.

Now, one would think that Mr. Kennedy’s release - which came only the day before I left for my trip - would be the straw that broke the camel’s back for yours truly, forcing me to leave the WWE the way a battered wife would leave an abusive husband. As strange as this sounds though - considering that I’d gladly present myself for Mr. Kennedy Anderson should we ever bump into each other - I couldn’t wait to see what happened next. Unfortunately, I had to keep my priorities straight (see: strippers, degenerative gambling, drinking), so WWE had to wait until I returned to my glorious DVR. In the meantime though, while I was doing whatever I was doing in that city that God forgot to watch over, this sickie couldn’t help but draw comparisons between the WWE and Sin City, which really aren’t that different.

For instance, MVP and the Luxor (above) are identical in every which way. The Luxor is a brilliant black pyramid with a light coming out the top point that shines all the way up to the night sky. On the inside though, the Luxor is as boring as Sunday Night baseball on ESPN, with a very Old Vegas look they couldn’t get rid of even after renovations. MVP himself is a beautiful black man (as far as Sherri Shepherd is concerned), whose potential is indeed sky-high. He’s certainly flashy outside the ring, but when he gets inside the ropes, no matter how many new moves he’s come up with, he’s the same sluggish guy we’ve seen before. Uncanny ain’t it?

Another two things that can’t be more similar between Vegas and the WWE? Guys on the strip handing out hookers’ business cards and Vince McMahon’s childish sense of humor. If you don’t know what I’m talking about when it comes to the former, allow me to explain. About every other block on the strip there are guys handing out business card-sized pictures of a naked hooker and her number to every passerby. These guys are really the scum of the earth in the sense that they’re making money off of some perv paying somebody for sex, which in my opinion is one of the worst things a man can do. Vince McMahon’s sense of humor isn’t really all that different. Little people are clearly not off limits for him. Playing up to different races’ stereotypes is something he’s infamous for, and hell, even incest - one of the most vile topics in a normal society, is an idea he’s toyed with on multiple occasions in the past. You’re not funny Vince… not even close. In fact, you need help.

Planet Hollywood, my favorite casino of all, and Randy Orton, my favorite current WWE wrestler of all, have all the same qualities. PH has a little something for everybody - a great gambling atmosphere, pole dancers + barely-dressed women dealing games, and a low-key club to boot for those who just want to hang out and have a good time. Randy Orton, as you’ve probably surmised by now, also has everything you could imagine - a strong mic presence along with a convincing character, a personalized set of moves that fit well with most other wrestlers, and intangibles that I can’t begin to count. Both have everything going for them at the moment, and really stand out from the crowd.

Okay, I’m all done with my comparisons now. This whole idea was probably a stretch, but I may as well get this all out of my system now rather than later. I promise I’ll get back to my Mr. Kennedy-obsessing, WWE-smearing daily programming next time.

An Open Letter to Mr. Kennedy

Dear Ken,

First thing’s first - we all wish you the best of success in your personal and professional life. You’ve had some moments I’m sure you wish you could take back, but from what we can tell you’re a hard worker and an even better family man. A true model for any amateurs looking to get into the business to say the least.

Now, from what can be gathered the release was a rash decision made by somebody up high in the WWE, if not Vince McMahon himself, in reaction to the wrist injury - which, as indicated on your site, is merely a chink in your armor.

In my personal opinion, somebody over the course of the next few days needs to knock some sense into the misguided bozo(s) that called for your release, whomever it may be. Maybe the WWE will come to their senses, and maybe they won’t. But if there isn’t at least any signs of an internal struggle over your release, then I have zero faith in the WWE from here on out. To release somebody as talented, as gifted, and as entertaining as you are is a grave mistake. Naysayers would disagree with me, but you have that innate ability to connect with fans both as a heel and as a face - and with ease nonetheless. That quality is found in the rarest of wrestlers, and considering the horrid state of Monday Night RAW, it’s truly mindblowing that the WWE doesn’t want you.

If the WWE doesn’t realize what they’ve done in the coming days, well, then hopefully we’ll see you on TV for a different brand very soon. We’ll cheer for you, even if you may be wrestling under a different moniker, and will watch you as you prove the WWE wrong.

The best of luck to you sir,
Neil Bhatia

A Man Defines his Surroundings... or Do Surroundings Define the Man?

Nothing would make me happier if I woke up one morning laying down next to Layla Mr. Kennedy Dixie Carter, and had the following sweet nothing whispered into my ear: "TNA Impact just beat Monday Night Raw in the ratings this week". Not even if my arms were draped around the naked bodies of Maryse and Layla. Not even if Triple H and John Cena both quit wrestling altogether. Not even if I, the fanboy of all fanboys of Mr. Kennedy, got to see him win a heavyweight championship. And why, you must be wondering, is that? Well, because I'd then know that a fire would be lit under Vince McMahon's competitive, killer-instinct spirit... something we haven't seen in a long time.

Of course I know that Vince is a workaholic behind-the-scenes; that's been documented time and time again. But we all know he isn't the same guy he was plum in the middle of the Monday Night Wars. To sum it up best, he's in a box, and a small one at that. The WWE has suffered because of his unwillingness to embrace anything he isn't fond of. Any idea that he doesn't like gets shot down instantly, and the person who comes up with the idea sometimes gets ridiculed. Something that happened just a week ago illustrates that to a tee.

An unnamed person inside team creative suggested a John Cena heel turn - an idea that quite a few wrestling fans have hoped to see come to fruition. McMahon could have easily just dismissed the suggestion and moved on, but being the egotistical man he is, the bossman took it a step further and berated the poor sap who came up with the idea. Vince went on to say how short-sighted the guy was for (and I'm paraphrasing here) not seeing that Cena merchandise continues to make boatloads of money for the WWE. Really though, it's Vince who is short-sighted for not seeing the ramifications of his actions. By bitching out that individual, he further cemented, if not then created, the mindset of "If I don't please Vince, I'm going to get chewed out". And people with mindsets like that have a nickname... they're called 'yes men'. Last I checked, those kinds of people aren't good for any organization in the real world, let alone a wrestling company. See: Bush Jr's administration for proof.

Certainly though, Vince is capable of achieving great things. We all watched him slowly build up the WWE from the humble nothing it used to be and turn it into his vision - now a piece of Americana. The sheer amount of work it must have taken the man to absorb and/or run over all those separate wrestling territories across the country is unfathomable. And that's just the 80's. During the 90's, Vince's battles he waged on the WCW resulted in, by most accounts, the 'Golden Age of Wrestling'... aka the Attitude Era. Looking back at those two eras, it's clear what the driving forces were behind his success. His master plan sustained him well through the 80's, and the WCW clearly drove him as a competitor in the 90's.

So what is it that gets him going now in the 00's? Well, that's the thing... nothing. No longer does our chairman need to look in the rear view mirror to see if failure is tailgating him. To be honest, I can't blame him - he's accomplished everything he has set out to do. Nobody is telling him he can't "make it" anymore, and certainly there are no more Eric Bishoffs around to push his buttons.

To get away from sports-entertainment for a moment, take a look at some legends we've seen rise and fall in our heyday. Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player of all time, was quite possibly the most driven athlete ever in the late 80's and early 90's. First it was the Celtics and Larry Bird who motivated MJ so much that he dropped some of the single greatest individual performances in basketball history on them. After that, the Pistons were the ones who bullied MJ around and forced him to take it to the next level. Then it was the Lakers, led by Magic Johnson (who, by the way, had Larry Bird pushing him for his entire career), and then of course the rest of the league's top players. Once MJ stood on top of the mountain and saw that he had slain all the dragons in the league, what did he do? He became bored, and retired. BORED! The same guy who was once consumed with winning championships became bored!

Still not catching my drift? Let's take the rap icon Eminem as an example from the entertainment industry. When Marshall Mathers first came up he wasn't necessarily fighting a tangible rival who could push him, but instead he was fighting poverty - a staple in his life at that point. He was ravenous to a certain degree in writing his lyrics, and he struggled for every last dime he earned as he worked his way up to the top. The man went on to become so great that he inserted himself into the discussion of the greatest rappers of all time... and with ease too. But following that last extended break he took after earning millions from his life's work, that fiestyness he once had in him was displaced by complacency. Everything he ever wanted he had. Everything he set out to do he did. His legend was already cemented, and the hunger wasn't there. And now when comparing his work pre-hiatus to post, one could easily see just how much a worthy adversary could mean to even the greatest of the greats. A poor man, facing terrible things from the day he was born, drove Eminem to create albums that became an entire generation's voice. But the same man, only this time extremely rich but complacent, produced a very average album this time around.

Vince, like I said before, has very much changed from the man he once was to who he is today, just as Jordan and Eminem changed. No longer is his motivation tied into survival. Rather, it's probably closer to 'let's get every penny we can'. That's fine though... every person has a right to earn. The thing is, Vince continues to market the WWE as a fan-friendly company, which just isn't as true as it used to be.

Fans still groan at the "freaks" Vince trots out like Santina, The Boogeyman, Hornswaggle, and Goldust. The "Million Dollar Giveaway" segments tarnished the company so much that I came -----> (this) <----- close to quitting the WWE altogether. And the segments where Vince goes out there and makes a fool of himself, yet clearly has 100x more fun than anybody in the arena (like the Stan Kroenke segment this last Raw) are far too prevalent. But Vince, clearly off in his strange own sugarcoated, padded-wall world, continues to force them down our throats. We get it Vince, you like freakshows and you think you're the cock of the walk... that doesn't mean we do.

Thanks to Vince's lack of fear of failure, the product the WWE puts out is just average. Unless a change in landscape comes about - and by that change I mean if a competitor comes out of the woodwork and gives Vince a run for his money, we're in for more of those same wasteful segments. Here's to hoping one of those"yes men" who advise him starts a mutiny.

Year of the Bible?

I don't know what this man hopes to accomplish, but Georgian Republican Paul Broun is hoping to officially make 2010 the "Year of the Bible".  Broun is defending himself by claiming "This doesn't have anything to do with Christianity".  That ass-backward logic baffles me to say the least.

Last time I checked, imposing religious beliefs onto the nation was frowned upon... right?  Maybe it's been a while since I "last checked" though, seeing that when I woke up this morning gay rights remain handicapped, abortion continues to split this nation down the middle, and only Christian presidents get voted in.

Religious freedom my ass.

YOUR Highlight Reel?

I don’t know if this will work or not, but what the hell…

This is YOUR opportunity to get in one of my celebrated columns and ask me any wrestling-related question you want!

Do you want inside skinny on the goings on of the WWE? Ask away!

Do you wonder what Mr. Kennedy’s jock-strap smells like? I’m your guy!

Do you want to know why I delude myself into thinking my columns are “celebrated” even though, besides XHeadlines, Full Tilt, and a sleazy poker magazine that has gone belly-up, nobody has dared to touch my work with a ten-foot-pole? Grill me!

In all seriousness, if you have questions about the WWE, TNA, or any MMA promotion, please submit them either in the comments section below this column, or email them to me at KGBlovesOreos@gmail.com.

And for goodness sake, if I don’t get enough questions let alone any at all, I’m going to have to have a Q&A column with my own made-up questions… and you wouldn’t do that to me would you?

Judgment Day Preview: A Case of Déjà Vu

I'm excited for a few of the matches in store for us, but I'm not quite sure what the rhyme or reason was for some of these bookings. Randy Orton vs. Batista I can live with because both men know how to deliver a match. But honestly, haven't we seen a lot of these matches before? And many times at that?

Big Show-Cena has been done to death, and their bouts have set the record for some of the pastiest-white matches we've ever seen... don't worry JBL, your matches with Cena are up there too. But to be honest, seeing Cena FU'ing, not Attitude-Adjusting, the Big Show time and time again flat-out takes away from just how impressive the feat is. I roll my eyes whenever I see it happen, and that is not something a fan should be doing when seeing such an act of strength!

Christian-Jack Swagger is actually a repeat match I can't wait to see. Christian's professionalism has been rubbing off on Jack Swagger, and I've noticed a steady improvement in Swagger's game just in the last two months alone. The program they've had has developed nicely, and ECW has become watchable solely because of these two.

As for Edge-Jeff Hardy, I don't know what to say. I'm confused, to be honest. We all know Hardy's contract is expiring later this summer and that he's declined extensions on multiple occasions, but he's still getting opportunities at the title? Maybe the WWE officials just think he's playing hardball and are just trying to appease him in the meantime, but it's rather risky. Edge could have had a number of programs with other faces such as Rey Mysterio or even CM Punk - both who are far less of a gamble. Either way, the matchup will probably be entertaining based off their history, but will we see anything different?

We'll all find out how the PPV turns out tomorrow. I think we'll see more of the same as we've seen before, but who knows... I could be surprised. Until then, be sure to check out XHeadline's PPV Headquarters for all the information you need for Judgment Day.

Another Change...

I changed the web address for this page yet again... I was disappointed with the direction I took with this page after changing to wwerumorsandrants.blogspot.com - a pure wrestling site, because it basically became the site where I copied + pasted my wrestling articles from XHeadlines.com.  It's not like I have an issue or anything with XHeadlines... they are giving me an opportunity on a highly-trafficked site that has a lot of potential, but the difference in content between my articles there and the posts I put up here was minimal.  So here I go again, changing the theme for this page one more time.  

Besides, isn't my shiney new title for this site much better?  And didn't you miss my terrible poker articles?  Or my articles about awkward office bathroom moments?

I know I did.

The Greenhorns of Grappling (Part Two)

Welcome back you silly gooses/geese/whatever. The following athletes finish up my top ten list of the brightest young stars in the WWE. If you missed part one of The Greenhorns of Grappling, feel free to hit the "Back" button on your browser now to take a look at that masterpiece of mine.

"Masterpiece" is a bit of a stretch I guess, right? Sighhhh... you guys are right. I guess I'm being too hard on myself. It wasn't just a masterpiece - it was a Pulitzer Prize-worthy piece. Better yet, it was the zenith of opinion columns that all future opinion columnists should compare themselves to.

Much better.

Anyhow... back to business.

#5: CM Punk

Some of you may have been annoyed that CM Punk won the MiTB yet again, but he really was the best possible person to win that match. I'll give you that he has technically been a champion before - thus not really making him much of a "greenhorn" - but do any of you view this guy as a legit main-eventer yet? Not yet right?

Well, I feel like his first title reign was REALLY screwed up by creative. But this time around it seems like the right steps have been taken towards building up CM Punk, as he has already pinned Edge legitimately and is now entering a program with Umaga. Once he's really over, and by that I mean once it really becomes believable rather than unbelievable that he's winning matches against the likes of Jericho, Edge, etc, it shouldn't be long before we see him hoisting up a title yet again.

#4: Jack Swagger

Brock Lesnar comes to mind when I see this beast in the ring. Only Shelton Benjamin, Batista, and Triple H's physiques compare to this guy's in terms of modern wrestlers, and although he still has room to improve his delivery on the mic, he's got plenty of raw talent.

His finisher is something I'm not all that impressed with, but that might be me nitpicking at a small thread sticking out of a, well, what is it that these kids wear nowadays... Von Dutch shirt? Whatever it is, it's a small imperfection on a nearly-perfect pure wrestler.

#3: MVP

I'm very curious to see how MVP's most recent push goes, because the longer I think about it the more I'm not sure he can get it done in the ring. I'll give him this - he's damn entertaining on the mic, and he brings a fresh, stylish persona we really haven't seen before.

But as I said, in the ring he isn't all too impressive. As you may have seen the last few weeks, the only time a crowd really, and I mean really gets into his matches is when he either jumps up and down to hype up the crowd (a very obvious gimmick), or he does that 'Ballin!' ditty. The same could be said for other wrestlers, but the way it comes across on the screen to me is that the audience almost falls into a lull before he does one of those two things to get everybody going... and that's not supposed to happen with a future star is it?

He's bound to improve though, and with the way he connects to people during his promos, the push he's getting now should should continue long enough for him to have time to iron out the wrinkles in his game.

#2: Mr. Kennedy... Kennedy

Common, you really didn't think I'd compile this list without naming the guy whose name is so nice you gotta say it twice... did you? Nobody shoots a promo better than Mr. Kennedy does... NOBODY! This guy is bound to have a major role in the company's future. Of course, the only thing that could hold him back from becoming the superstar we all know he can be are injuries.

Thus far this man has been a star-crossed guy... some of it was brought on by himself - but the rest was just one freak thing or the other. His biggest push he ever received was the one where he became a thorn in William Regal's side (who was then a major heel GM... lights on/lights off anybody?). Unfortunately that rivalry that had oh-so-much potential was cut short due to Regal's drug suspension.

Kennedy's failed pushes aside, what I do know though is that although this guy is better as a heel than a face, he needs to stay a crowd favorite just as he was before his last injury. The WWE is full of heels anyways, and the last thing they need is yet another prime talent wasted as a heel. Do they not understand that the best way to put asses in the seats are to have your best talents in favor of the crowd? Ugh. Anyways, I've praised Mr. Kennedy long enough in this article... the other wrestlers on this list might get jealous or something, so I'll make up for it by not putting up a pic of Kennedy. Happy?

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I budged. I couldn't resist. And I don't even care that this page now looks awkward with another picture right below Mr. Kennedy's.

#1: John Morrison

This guy has sneaky mega-potential... I feel like a ten-year-old for phrasing it like that, but there's really no other way to say it. Just take a look at him and TELL me he's not athletic. The man clearly knows what he's doing in the ring, and the scary thing is that he's barely scratched the surface.

Most people compare him to a young Shawn Michaels, and I cannot find a single hole in that argument. I mean, did you guys see him superkick Michaels a couple months back on RAW? It was eerie how similar he looked like HBK back in his heyday!

After all that, I haven't even addressed just how easily Morrison can get the crowd riled up one way or the other. Truth be told, pairing this lad up with The Miz for the first part of each other's young careers was genious. And even better is that, although we didn't notice, Morrison was far below average on the mic when he first started out. But once he got his "reps" in on the critically-acclaimed Dirt Sheet, you could practically graph Morrison's steady improvement. This guy is not just going to be a star... he's going to be a hall-of-famer (you read that right) as long as he stays on track.

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If, by some miracle of God you actually like my work, feel free to visit my site http://wwerumorsandrants.blogspot.com/ and check some of my work there.

You can also reach me on Twitter at twitter.com/NeilBhatia.

I can also be reached on Facebook - my name there is also Neil Bhatia.